Random thoughts

Time Capsule

2008-10-17T11:58:00.000-07:00

I've discovered the neatest thing in computers yet.

It's created by Mac, and it's brilliant! It's this thing called a Time Capsule, which is essentially an external hard drive for your computer (which is brilliant enough in its own regard) but they've set this thing up on a wireless network with a program they call Time Machine. The idea is that as soon as you walk into proximity of this thing (say into your house or work) and turn your computer on, it does an automatic backup of you whole system. Then, when something horrible happens and you have lost everything on your computer, you can just go back and get it on your 'time capsule'.

The best part is that if you somehow screw your system up (or a file or whatever), you can opt to go back to last Friday (or whatever day in the last year or something) and recover your whole system (or any file) to the state it was in at that time. So if you got a computer virus (which you wouldn't anyways because you are using a Mac Laptop) than you could just re-load how your computer was yesterday morning, and lose nothing.

I love it and I want it. But it's only on Mac computers.

Someone tell Bill Gates to get on it. Or Dell or whoever. I want my microsoft version of instant and easy protection from having the worst computer luck in the world. Then I could stop wasting half my life backing my files up onto two computers, two external hard drives and DVD. Cause seriously, I don't even know where things are anymore.

My next laptop will be a mac I think

Brilliant!

2008-10-15T12:21:00.001-07:00

Bad Picture, but you get the point. I love this 'new' product.

Effective Advertisment

2008-10-06T06:20:00.000-07:00

I have been seeing these ads on the subway every day. They are for a university named "Colossal U" and they are irritating to say the least.

The first one I see is a big picture of a cookie cutter shaped like a gingerbread man and the quote reads "Every Colossal U student will turn out exactly the same. We guarantee it." And of course I'm thinking...

what the hell? why would you put something like that in an advertisement? students should want to be different...want to stand apart from their peers and be an individual. the university must be stupid if they think this ad will attract new students in Toronto...

This was the first time I thought I should blog about it. About how stupid it is to have bad advertising to the largest population in Ontario...

So this morning I am on the subway again as usual and I see another ad for this Colossal U, and this time it is a number dispenser like you'd find in a government office or whatever, and the ad reads "Student number 237, your teacher will see you now."

So this morning I was blogging about it *for sure!*

I think someone is really messed in the advertisement committee for this place. They should hire someone new...blah blah.

The point being, I didn't want to blog about it without some info on the university. I google it, and I get this fake site that has the ads, and then a few seconds later the ads fade and they get to the real site about Athabasca University. It's all been a scam to get you pissed and to go to the site to see who the assholes are that would make such horrible ads.

And it worked on me.

Someone in the advertising committee deserves a raise, because they must have done their research in human psychology...

EMAIL...

2008-08-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get lazy checking emails?

Sometimes I check them by reading the subject line and I never actually read any of the content, and then all of a sudden some deadline is approaching and you realize you were told to do this thing months and months ago? It happens to me sometimes with the school, because they send 53,000 emails in regards to the same issue, which may or may not be time sensitive. And the first one always comes like 6 months before you can do anything about it, and then reminders every week to follow. Then by the time the actual date comes, you've been ignoring the emails with this title for 3 months, and you *almost* miss the deadline despite the 43,000 email reminders.

Hahaha.

I was just thinking about the ridiculousness of this while sorting through my very old email this morning. I realized that registration time is here again, so I have to fill out forms to switch programs, defer tuition fees, accept funding, take teaching assistant payment, etc. etc.

I think I'll clear it up today in one foul swoop.

A+ in procrastination.

Clarify

2008-08-26T04:37:00.000-07:00

I wanted to clarify that when I go to Detroit I will be supervised by a parent. Robbie is coming. Also, I really really really want to go, so I think I'm going. And I think mama dukes will eventually give her blessing (I'm sure after much parent-to-daughter discussion!).

Happy Anniversary!!

2008-08-22T10:13:00.000-07:00

Happy 10th Anniversary to Mama Dukes & Robbie!!

I can't believe it has already been ten years, but it has.

On this day 10 years ago, I woke up nervous because today was the day I was about to get an official new father figure (not that he hadn't been that for long before the marriage date, but you get the point). I think part of the butterflies stemmed from the fact that I had to wear a dress and makeup! But that day I would have done anything for my mom. She was so happy and looked so beautiful.

Ten years flew by, but we have grown so much as a family unit, and I can't imagine not having Robbie as a part of our lives. He has brought much happiness and many laughs to our nights in the backyard. He provides advice when needed, and shakes things up a bit when life starts to get dull. I'm as happy today to have him as a part of our family as I was 10 years ago (even though he can be a donkey sometimes), and every once in a while when I see him and Mama Dukes having a lovey moment (maybe a glance or a hug), I remember how happy she is to have him in her life as well.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

I shall Return, from out of the...

2008-08-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

My mom is yelling at me for not blogging. And I hate when my mom yells at me (is that a complex of some sort, because it sure as hell feels like one! haha)

So, I will start again (I guess) and make no promises as to the frequency or entertainment factor of the forementioned blogs, so don't bitch at me. I'll blog when I feel like it!

I will start with something exciting to me (and few others). Metallica is touring in Europe but has agreed to play a couple of shows in the states and out west (BC, Alberta etc). So in January I will be taking a road trip to Detroit for a concert, and I'm sure it will be amazing!

Secondly, the movie "The Dark Night" is pretty incredible. I haven't seen the Batman movies, so if there are contradictions I wouldn't know about it. I just went to see it because I heard it was pretty disturbing (and it was!) and because I heard it might be part of the reason why Heath Ledger killed himself. Now I know it's sick, but I think they might be right. His character was pretty messed up, and add some drugs to that and you've got a messed up person!

I decided a while ago to stop blogging about school / work just in case people from work read it, and I will stick to that for the most part. But today I got a horrible (and unjustified) complaint from a student in my class last fall. He got removed from the course last year, but has re-joined for this year. I have just added the phone number for campus police in my cell phone, just in case! People can get serious about their marks, it's crazy.

My summer has been good. Productive in terms of school (well more productive now that I am completing my data analysis for real this time) and I took a week and went to a cottage, which might have been the best week I've had in a long time. There was no phone or internet or people, and it was right on a lake. The worst part about that week was finding out that while I was away, the family dog was put down (not my little dog, but the pitbull). I wish I could go again, but summer is coming to a close, and if anything my friends are looking into booking a couple of nights sat a camp ground at most. Oh well. Oh, and we "replaced" kilo (not that there is any chance in replacing her, but you get my point) with very adorable puppy. I would post a picture but it's not working right now.

But that's all today. I'm going for drinks with the lab people for a little shin-dig celebration thingy.

Super Star!!

2008-05-06T05:10:00.000-07:00

Gemini and I played our first Co-ed softball game on Sunday. Before the game I decided that stretching was important because of the way I felt last week after the practice. So we left for the baseball diamond a few minutes early to have some time for a little warm-up. When we got there I did a few stretches and tossed a ball around a bit. But the stretching I did wasn't enough.

One of the women on our team pulled a muscle in her groin going from first to second base, and so they put me in as a courtesy runner (because I'm lightning fast, haha). But as soon as I left the base the back of my thigh tightened up and cramped like crazy. I barely hobbled home, and couldn't run for the rest of the game. And even now (two days later) I'm gimping around dragging my right leg because it hurts incredibly. And I'm supposed to be able to play again on Sunday and Monday?

All but one woman on our team pulled some muscle in their legs. I think from now on I might suggest group stretching before the game. It's pretty horrible having a pulled muscle.

So baseball is doing bad things to my body right now, but I'm still very hopeful that by the end of the season, I'll be a super-star player with a ripped body from playing. Haha. I'm being sarcastic, because it's seriously hard to get more fit when you are following up a good workout with a beer or two. But the super-star part was totally serious!

Baseball

2008-04-28T07:33:00.000-07:00

Gemini and I joined a softball league, where we play slo-pitch and drink a beer for most Sunday afternoons in the summer. It seemed like it would be a great way to have fun doing something together (not that we don't spend quality time together anyways...) and get us active.

So we had our first practice games yesterday. We spent 4.5h on the field in the sun. There was no practice really...just a pretend game. And I had never stepped foot on a field with a bat or a glove, so it was interesting to say the least. I had a lot of fun though. And I even hit the ball most times, and made it at least to first. I think I got to come home twice even, so I wasn't as bad as I was expecting. I even made a couple of good catches at second base, and one wicked catch at home plate. Each and every time I hit the ball or caught a ball I surprised myself, and I forgot I was playing for a second. So I need to work on that so that I can run without delay, or throw the ball to someone else for the double play...but that's what practice is for.

But today I hurt. Alot.

I thought that having gone to the gym for the past 1.5 years would have been enough to keep me fit. And it has I think for the most part. But something about throwing a ball hundreds of times, and doing little sprints that you aren't used to Killed my muscles. So when I got out of bed this morning, I felt like I was 80 years old. And it was way to hard to lift the milk jug for my mini-wheats!! I think I might even have to skip the gym tonight (which I hate doing). But hopefully when the season gets going, my body will catch up :)

I really suck at this

2008-04-25T06:09:00.000-07:00

Blogging is apparently a hard thing for me to do lately, since I have been spacing my writing by a month at a time. But I haven't had blog topics...until this morning.

I noticed last week that an awful lot of women (and men) are breaking out the sandals for the summer, and letting their feet out for a breath of fresh (or not so fresh?) air. I find it a bit early personally, but I have nothing against the sandal re-birth except when I see...

1. Naked toe nails. This comes from my mama dukes, because she made it a rule from as early as I can remember, that no naked toes are allowed. If she can see your toes, they must have polish on them. Otherwise, no matter how manicured your feet are (which they often aren't if they have no polish) they end up looking like this;
And seriously, I threw up a little in my mouth when I posted this picture...so please polish your toes. Au natural doesn't apply to feet.

And another pet peeve that I see soo commonly these days, is people buying sandals that don't fit! If your toes are hanging over the front of them like this;
Or if your heels are hanging off the back like this;
Than the shoes weren't worth the $5.99 you paid for them at Walmart!!

That's what I thought about on the train and on the subway this morning. And I saw many shining examples of what I am talking about. If I was a little more sly, I would have tried to pull out the camera phone and expose them to the world.

On the bright side, the weather is beautiful!

Earth Hour

2008-03-31T06:10:00.000-07:00

I think everyone who participated in Earth Hour should be proud for being a part of the community / world effort to reduce power consumption. I think it is a great idea, and overall worth the advertising costs etc. The results were pretty amazing.

Here is a picture of Sydney Australia before and after;
And Toronto's skyline (practically the other side of the world) during their Earth Hour;
I happened to be at Gemini's house enjoying a nice dinner and hanging with his family and a bunch of family friends. We ate by candlelight, and then the boys picked up a couple of acoustic guitars and played and sang. There was some piano, and bongo drums, and it turned into a night of entertainment. The lights were out much longer than an hour, which I'm sure is the case for many.

My family at home enjoyed a game of Monopoly by candlelight (which I am sorry I missed), and played until after midnight.

The TV's were off, the families and friends together, and it was a great experience at the same time as saving a bit of energy for the environment.

But I pose this question; why not do this more than once a year? Is it that big of a deal for stores or families to sacrifice an hour once a month say? I thought it was fun. I think sitting and playing board games in the dark, and turning off the TV once a week would be nice.

In any case, pat yourself on the back if you participated, because I think it was fairly successful overall.

Growing Up

2008-03-18T06:40:00.000-07:00

There is something about getting older that is disturbing. I've decided this lately as I approach some resemblance of adulthood, and my 25th birthday.

I have fixed my future for about four years in terms of career path (ie. more schooling). My supervisor keeps suggesting that I map out exactly what I want to do for the remainder of my career, and figure out all of the baby steps I will have to take to reach my goals. But the problem is, it is much easier said than done. I don't have major long-term goals. I am focusing on one year at a time, and hoping everything falls into place for me. This is a strategy that has worked for me so far, and I'm hoping it doesn't fail me soon.

I miss being able to plan 4 months at a time. I got used to that in high school, when life was conveniently separated into four little chunks. I would fit as much into the first chunk (Sept-Jan) as possible in terms of schoolwork so that when I started to burn out at the end of the year, my classes were easier. And then it was SUMMER! A time to request a few more hours of part-time work, and otherwise read, or sleep in, or whatever the day turned out to be.

Even better were the days when summer meant playing continuously for 8 weeks. We could stay up later, watch cartoons, have sleep-overs, and just have fun. And it seemed like the longest 8 weeks of the year.

And we were soo freakin cute as kids!
Especially this one;
Who is now considered a woman, and has a whole life full of hard decisions left to make. She was so adorable as a kid. I used to wrap her up in a big white towel after her bath and call her my "little bath larva". And now I try and advise her about college!

Growing up sure is taking some getting used to...

Happy Birthday Mama Dukes

2008-03-05T05:38:00.001-08:00

I know it has been a lifetime since I blogged last, but I have been busy becoming a potential PhD. But now that my transfer is done I have no excuse. But more importantly,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA DUKES!!!

You are amazing!
I hope today brings you more than just snow and cold, and that you get at least a bit of time to relax and enjoy your special day.
I'm looking forward to a great dinner tonight in your honor.
Love you tons
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Brain Shut Down

2008-02-04T10:07:00.000-08:00

Don't ask why, but I Googled the phrase "brain shut down" and on the first page of results (it was actually the first hit at the time, but isn't any more, was this link

"Brain Areas Shut off During Female Orgasm"

So I decided to read the article...why? because I like to learn.

And if you read the article (Go ahead and read it. It's not porn, I promise), you can imagine the people in the study being injected with dye, being put into and MRI machine, and being told

"Ok, so my lab mates and I are going to measure what is happening in your brain regions as you jerk off your boyfriend (slash finger your girlfriend)"

Side Note: I feel dirty knowing my grandma is going to read this, but it was published as an honest-to-God study, and I'm just reporting it.

I'm reading the story out loud to one of the people in my lab at the time. I'm reading fairly slowly and I laugh histarically when it gets to the part; "In the study, Holstege and his colleagues at Groningen University recruited 11 men and 13 women" because I hadn't read the rest of the sentence yet. And in my head, I'm already thinking "How does that work? How did they decide who the lucky two guys are who get to do this twice!?"

And I laugh again when I get to this sentence:
"Holstege said he had trouble getting reliable results from the study on men because the scanning machine needs activities lasting at least two minutes to record an activity"

Now I know where all the government research money is going...

And why people enjoy sex soo much. It's the only time human brains are truly allowed to shut down.

Revitilized!

2008-02-01T06:54:00.000-08:00

NEW *DIAMOND SHREDDIES*

I laughed my ass off when I saw this bilboard last night.

Hilarious.

Turns out racism is OK after all

2008-01-30T06:43:00.000-08:00

Well maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but at this point, I am not making a far stretch in my statement. It seems the Toronto District School Board thinks that black students need to have the option of attending a school for black children. But of course, to be fair "no one ever said little white children couldn't attend"

How is this NOT a step backwards?

Are we supposed to be able to segregate based on race or not? Because ever since I was young, I've been taught to treat people as equals no matter what background. I have tried to do this for the most part, though I sometimes find it difficult. Especially at my age, in my career path, when I'm fighting for job placement with people who have made it through university (in CANADA!) without knowing the language. I have also lost out on potential scholarship money based on the fact that I am *not* of a certain background. If that's not racism, I don't know what is.

I hate the fact that kids are being taught that they are *special* (whether it be for a good reason or bad) because of their race. Are they going to open up a school specially designed for Chinese kids, and Indian kids now too? Because God knows that they deserve to learn their history etc etc too, and feel like they "belong". It's bullshit, and you know what it does in the end? It makes people more separated and more racist, and nothing ever gets fixed. Black people will still be involved in the most crime and have the highest drop-out rate in Toronto. You know why? Because they are all hanging out with each other and talking about what their relatives are doing (and it only takes one bad seed to be influencing the rest) to make money the easy way or whatever. The same thing happens in Caucasian families where an older brother got involved in a gang and what not. It happens to white kids too, but just not as often. They don't get special treatment because they are dropping out.

The whole idea is crazy. And before you know it, all the black kids are going to have to sit at the back of the bus again. We are moving backwards toward segregation.

Why can't they have classes available within the school with focus on black history or culture or whatever it is that is supposed to make these kids stay in school? Why can't they integrate it into the existing schools, so as to offer it but not have the kids separated? Then the "little white kids" could actually attend!

Maybe I'm over reacting, and maybe there is a bit of me that is a bit pissed off that black people are demanding soo much special attention. Maybe someone should demand that they open a school for children from low income single-parent families (because I'm sure the dropout rate in this group is comparable to blacks).

Canada goes too far for it's multiculturalism. We are being walked over by so many different groups, we might as well bend over and pull out the vasoline.

Things

2008-01-22T09:08:00.000-08:00

So, things have just been happening lately. Things that are more-or-less out of my control. My exam date is coming fast, and I'm busily trying to prepare. On some days I am confident that I will be ready, and other days I feel like I would never be ready, even if given a hundred years.

I have been on a stress-filled emotional roller coaster. And then Mama Dukes is told she has type II diabetes (the adult onset kind) so that's been stressful and I've been worrying enough for the whole family I think. But I've done a bit of research and put together a temporary meal plan for the week to at least keep the GI index low for now until she gets the machine to check her blood sugar after meals. After a visit to the diabetes clinic, I guess we will know more. But it sucks just the same. And it's scary when you pair it with existing health issues.

I had to teach an extra lab today, which I thought was a sucky start to the day, but when I got there one of the students had brought me a highlighter because I had said hers was cool the last time I taught her. And it was random, because I shouldn't have taught her again, but the other TA called in sick, so it was lucky I guess that I have a new and pretty new blue highlighter. It made my day to know that someone was thinking about me. Someone I didn't even know. I always wonder how often that happen since a lot of people know me and I don't know them. Someone else commented on a lecture I taught a while ago. I didn't even recognize the person, but the class size was 400, so I wouldn't.

Anyways, everything is going OK I guess. It could be worse, but it could be better.

The next few months will be a blur I'm sure, and life will continue to run its course. In the meantime if anyone reads this that has good diabetic meals, feel free to share via comment or email.

Sometimes multi-tasking is a bad idea

2008-01-15T06:06:00.000-08:00

You would think I would have learned by now that eating an orange (and or a pomegranate) at the same time as doing anything else...is a terrible idea.

I try to fit too much into my day, and see what happens...?

My breakfast ends up all over the paper I was reading, the form I was filling out for the grad office, and my keyboard.

Is it Monday or something?

Bad Blogger

2008-01-14T06:27:00.000-08:00

But you knew that.

I haven't blogged in a very long time. I need to write it into my schedule. Anyways, you all love me and forgive me, so lets all be over it. OK.

So Christmas was wonderful, as were the rest of the holidays. The family took some time to actually spend together and play some board games (sometimes for entire days at a time) and such. It was very fun. Times you'll remember when the other days blend together, as they tend to do for me.

Anyhow, since the holidays are over, nothing much has happened besides work/school and getting ready for my transfer exam coming up at the end of February (where I'll enter the PhD program if I'm successful). So no we're caught up on the last month, I'll get to my blog.

I joined softball for next summer. Gemini joined with me on a co-ed team. Hopefully it will be fun. I know watching Robbie's team play over the last few years has been a lot of fun, and now mom will have more games to come out to if she so chooses. But, I've never swung a bat or worn a baseball glove, or run between bases, so this should be a learning experience to say the least. The whole game is just in theory to me right now, I actually know nothing about what it is really about.

My weekend was very fun this weekend, despite doing nothing out of the house really. I think that might be what was soo good about it. I didn't do much of anything besides hang around and watch movies and do nothing. I went to get coffee with Gemini on Saturday morning and saw a man sitting with his little girl (maybe about 8 or 9) and reading a paper. That was the worst feeling I got all weekend. I wanted to throw my coffee at hom and tell him to appreciate his little girl, instead of being so absent while she's sitting right in front of him. But whatever. Not my problem I guess.

Last night we went to Gemini's aunt's house for a little dinner get-together. It was a lot of fun. All the "kids" played a game called "Rockband". It's like guitar hero, only there is guitar and drums and vocals. It's actually difficult, but a lot of fun. I played on the easy setting for guitar and drums, and still found it quite hard. But we played for hours, and it was good.

And that brings me to this morning. Back to work. I have hundreds of papers to read and one to write (that one is by far the challenge!!)

'Tis the Season

2007-12-20T05:04:00.000-08:00

Christmas is fast approaching, and I'm not ready!
I had to fight the crowds at 7am this morning just to get a box of Christmas cards, so I'm dreading walking into the mall this weekend to finish my shopping. I'm going to smile though while waiting in line, just to be the odd one out. I love Christmas.

Today my lab is getting together for lunch and to give away the gifts we get. It's a fun idea. We are doing a secret Santa style exchange. But instead of buying something fitted for the person, we are getting a toy that maybe has some funny relation to the person we were buying for. Then we'll all head down to give the toys away for a charity. I like it. It was less pressure buying something for someone that you know they aren't going to keep anyways, so as long as it's a cool toy for a kid, you don't have to worry about if the person likes it or not. I hope we keep doing this in the lab in years to come. It makes me feel good.

Another thing that makes me feel good is the thought of food on Christmas eve. Steak and crab legs, oh baby! I can smell it already. I can't wait!

Mama Dukes is on holidays starting today, preparing for our open house party on Friday. It's going to be fun. Isn't Christmas exciting? I don't know about you, but I feel pretty jolly ;)

J-Walking is a Crime

2007-12-17T05:33:00.001-08:00

Even for a deer.

So it's Saturday night, and Gemini and I just finished having a nice dinner with friends of his family. Afterwards, we went to a party for one of his work friends. It was in an apartment building close to the mall in our city. This area is close to the highway and some main roads. I didn't know a single person, so it was awkward at first. We went to chat on the balcony and get away from the people for a minute.

I look across the road and see the profile of a deer. I look at Gemini and back at the deer, and say "Is that a deer? It can't be real." But then I see it's ear twitch. I've only had one drink, so it can't be my imagination, right?

Then the thing moves it's whole head, and I start to freak out a bit. I tell Gemini that there's a deer across the road. And then it emerges up the little incline and stands on the sidewalk for a minute. It's huge. It would have made a lot of good summer sausage.

The deer walks down the street and crosses the road before strolling out of sight. I was amazed. I have friends who hunt, so I guess it was even more incredible knowing that people go out and sit in tree stands and wait for hours and hours to see a deer come that close. They freeze their buns off to spot deer, and I just saw one in the middle of the city walking down the road.

I'd say we're populating a little too much when their are deer J-walking in the city.

Why?

2007-12-13T05:41:00.000-08:00

Why do people feed wild pigeons and rats?

I saw two people throw seed and bread crumbs for the pigeons at the train station today in a matter of the 30 seconds it took me to find my subway token. Why would you do this? You're encouraging the flocking of several hundred birds in the busiest place on Earth at any time of day. It just seems silly to me. I don't understand what goes through people's heads. I just don't.

On a lighter note, I have done zero Christmas shopping. I'm going to be one of those. You know, those people who do all of their Christmas shopping in one day on the 23rd. That's going to be me. And in the end, it will work out, because things always work out at Christmas time. It's like a rule.

Also, I met a semi-super-important sleep contact last night. I joined several other students in taking him to a pub for food and drinks. It was interesting conversation, but I had to leave about an hour into the really good work talk (ie. things about sleep) in order to make it home in time to get 6 hours of sleep before getting up to come to work again.

I sort of knew this all along, but re-enforced yesterday that I absolutely suck at being social. I need to take a course on how to introduce myself. On how to talk to people without feeling soo embarrassed you'd think I was naked or something. My work world requires networking, and if I fail at anything, it might be this aspect. I have to do lunch with this person again tomorrow, in a more formal and intimite (just 2 other people) setting. I think this will be better for conversation, but I can't help but be nervous just the same. I don't know why I think this way. I do good work, and have something to share...I just need to get it out of my mouth. I over-think things.

And to change the topic of this blog yet again (I'm obviously feeling scattered today), I am about to learn how to teach a lab. This is OK and normally wouldn't bother me, but what am I doing? Cutting legs off cockroaches (yes, cockroaches) to make preparations to learn about touch sensors, and how the little hairs on the not-so-tiny cockroach legs respond to touch. Gross. How did I get myself into this? I should have stuck to my four-year-old instinct, and become a table dancer :)

I feel boring

2007-12-10T08:34:00.000-08:00

I'm happily bored with life right now. Nothing dramatic is happening. I have a lot of work that is getting done at a snail's pace. Nothing much has changed, or happened that is spectacular. I haven't even seen too many weired people lately. Christmas is coming. I'm trying not to eat too many sugar cookies, I'm listening to an overload of Christmas carols by Josh Groban (because his voice is amazing and makes me want to hug everyone), and trying to think of good ideas for Christmas surprises.

The world is getting into the Christmas season where every parking spot is fought over, and people get their spouse to stand in the "other" line in case it starts to move faster.

I am happy. I am busy. It's Christmas. I love Christmas.

But I wish I could stay in bed, cuddled up with Hot Chocolate, and watching a good Christmas movie.

I need blogging ideas.

Stereotypes

2007-11-29T09:15:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get the feeling that stereotypes happen for a reason? I have found examples of typical stereotypes on the train ride to school two days in a row. Tons of them, and I can’t help but feel bad for thinking it (because we are raised to feel bad these days) but the stereotypes that exist are definitely seen in the everyday. I’ll provide examples of which I’ve seen in the past 48 hours:

1. A super over-weight woman (and I mean seriously overweight) eating from TWO take-out bags from McDonalds.

2. A group of Chinese people all taking pictures like they are hired paparazzi

3. A white trash looking woman (mullet and all) was resorting to child care over the phone. She was instructing her obviously young child on how to cook pizza pockets in the microwave

4. An Italian man talking to his friend almost entirely using his hands. And he was loud. This is a big no-no on the train, as ¾ of people are napping and/or completing a ridiculously hard crossword puzzle

And last but not least:

5. An African American woman (and still I’m politically correct) yelling at her one son or daughter about how they couldn’t afford to pay for something (I think a laptop or something technology related) because their father got put in jail and couldn’t pay support

If the train isn’t entertainment, I don’t know what is. And I don’t even try to see these things. They just happen. It amuses me, and makes me feel guilty for judging people in passing. But how can I help it when they fit the stereotype all-too-well?

When Good Just Happens

2007-11-21T04:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a great day. I worked from home, and found myself overly productive compared to normal. I woke up nice and early, and started working almost immediately (save making a pot of coffee). Jenny was sick, so that wasn't good, but she seemed OK when she got out of bed so I didn't feel too horrible. I worked right until 5:15, took a shower and had a date night with Gemini.

I went to his house to have supper (which is always good). I had salmon, baby potatos, assorted veggies and fettuchinni. It was tasty. Supper was followed by some cuddle-time with Gemini, and then...duh duh duh...He made a batch of the most delicious margaritas (tequila and all, but I just had one cause it's a school night!). And we played online poker in front of his gorgeous Christmas tree.

Tuesday night doesn't get better than that.

But it's Wednesday now, I'm about to get to work. Mama Dukes left to go on business *tear*, and it's rainy and grey. So, when I get enough work done I'm going to start my baking for the weekend. Wish me luck!!

Sleep is Overrated

2007-11-16T06:32:00.000-08:00

I think about sleep alot. It is my job.
So I'm sitting here summarizing journal articles in preparation for writing my paper to be published someday, and thinking about how frustrated I am with my own sleep. Last night I was cold when I went to bed. Not unusual for me. I tend to get cold around bedtime. But I couldn't get sleepy. It was about midnight, and I was finally starting to warm up a bit.
Then my dog starts barking like the house is on fire, and I can't figure out why. I put her up in my bed and try to cuddle her and settle her down, but nothing is working. She keeps jumping off the bed and barking. I figure she's barking at my other dog because she gets territorial around bedtime. So I get out of bed and call her. She comes to me and I scoop her up and bring her to bed again. She settles for a few minutes but I'm cold still and can't sleep.
She jumps down again and starts barking. I am frustrated by this point, and leave her. But mama Dukes gets out of bed and goes downstairs only to find that the big dog is locked outside. I guess we didn't check to see if she had come in after peeing.

So, I forgive my little dog for barking. She was just protecting her big sister.

I finally fell asleep around 2am.

But I dream. I almost hate dreaming because it feels like I'm not sleeping. It was a bad dream too about my dog going psycho. I can't control her and I get scared. I wake up almost in tears at 2:30am, and lie in bed cuddling my dog. I love her, and it's not her fault I had a bad dream about her. But the weird thing is, I have had this dream before. The exact same one, with very few changes. It was at the end of the dream that I realized this, and somehow became partially conscious of the fact that I was dreaming. At that point I can wake myself up, because I have practice (from lucid dreaming). I am awake still at 3:45. I didn't look at the clock after that. On purpose because it frustrates me. But I eventually fell asleep again.

I slept until 6:26am. Maybe 3 hours over the night. So I lie in bed hoping to fall asleep again. I'm working from home today, so I could sleep more. But the house is active now and I listen to the conversations happening downstairs. I can't sleep.

I crawl out of bed annoyed at nothing at 7:16am. I start working, and think about a theory. The theory (that many people still believe) is that dreaming is your brains way of sorting out memories from the day. You basically get random firing of neurons (cells) in your brain to consolidate memory, and eliminate wasted space being taken up (memories that aren't important, if there is such a thing).

And it occurs to me...how do we have re-occurring dreams then? If it's random, why would the same "random" sequence of events happen twice or more? Obviously that theory doesn't hold, and sleep people are wasting their time. Though that part about incorporating things from the day can stand, because my dog can be a bit psycho sometimes....

To whom it may concern...

2007-11-15T15:17:00.000-08:00

I've been checking your blog for over a year. Your posts were funny. I laughed at every single one. I added you to my favorite links at the top of my web browser. I click on your blog every day, and ever day since April (and since November before that one) I have seen the same title. I am disappointed every time, and I start to hate myself for being OCD, because I should have given up on you long ago, but I can't.

I just wanted you to know that I will check your blog for 14 more days, and then instead of giving you another chance, I will come and steal your first born child. I wont give warning either. I'm just going to come and take her. And when I have her, I will love her, and hug her, and cuddle her. Quite possibly until she goes blue in the face. And I'm not trained in CPR.

That is all.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Dr Phil Test

2007-11-14T08:34:00.001-08:00

My grandma (love you grandma!!) sent me a test through email that apparently Dr Phil uses to see about people. You answer the following questions:
1. When do you feel your best?
A) in the morning
B) during the afternoon and early evening
C) late at night

2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
B) fairly fast, with little steps
C) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
D) less fast, head down
E) very slowly

3. When talking to people you...

A) stand with your arms folded
B) have your hands clasped
C) have one or both your hands on your hips
D) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
E) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with...
A) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
B) your legs crossed
C) your legs stretched out or straight
D) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
A) a big appreciated laugh
B) a laugh, but not a loud one
C) a quiet chuckle
D) a sheepish smile

6 When you go to a party or social gathering you...
A) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
B) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
C) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted...
A) welcome the break
B) feel extremely irritated
C) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
A) red or orange
B) black
C) yellow or light blue
D) green
E) dark blue or purple
F) white
G) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are...
a) stretched out on your back
B) stretched out face down on your stomach
C) on your side, slightly curled
D) with your head on one arm
E) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
A) falling
B) fighting or struggling
C) searching for something or somebody
D) flying or floating
E) you usually have dreamless sleep
F) your dreams are always pleasant

which correspond to these points:
POINTS:

1. (a) 2 (B) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (B) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (B) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (B) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (B) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (B) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (B) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (B) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (G) 1
9. (a) 7 (B) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10.(a) 4 (B) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Which sum to give a personality type.
OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS : Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS : Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you' re boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

I scored 31. Borderline Fussy and Practical. I don't know if this is how others feel about me, but if Dr. Phil is right, it's almost no wonder I have made few friends over the years. Oh time wasters.

And Still I Smile

2007-11-13T05:37:00.001-08:00

I haven't been sleeping well. I don't know why, but for some reason at about 4 or 5am I wake up and can't get back to sleep. That's how I started my day. But, trying not to be pessimistic, I got up and got ready to go into school.

I got to the train in time to take the 6:55 express, but it wasn't there, and I hear over the loud speaker "Please board the train on track 3 departing in 10 minutes. All other trains are late". So I get on thinking "OK, it's making all stops but at least I'll get a seat..." And slowly the train fills with people. Turns out they canceled the 3 express trains that come before this one. I knew by this point it was going to be a sardine can by the time I arrived at my destination. But still I smiled. Why? Three reasons.

1. What else can you do? When it's out of your hands, accept it.

2. My new toy (good timing). I have been missing my music for over a month (turns out I left it in a jacket pocket, and left the jacket at a friends house). But my mama dukes won an 80G video iPod from a draw and said "you deserve it". And so with my life soundtrack, I was happy.

3. The guy who operates the train is funny. I bet this guy gets a ton of chicks. The normal train announcements go something like this: "Please stand well back from the yellow platform lines. High speed trains can pass at any time in either direction..." blah blah monotone and nobody ever listens.
But this guy must want to be a comedian, because he cracks little jokes, especially when the transit commission screws up (practically always now a days) and people are pissed off. So instead you hear "Remember to stand away from the tracks folks, cause I hear getting hit by a train hurts".
And this morning, when the train was Packed!
"Alright people, make room for the newcomers! Pushing and shoving is OK, and I highly encourage people to sit on the lap of the person next to you"
and
"If you didn't eat breakfast, try and stay on the ground level. The air gets thin on the upper floors and we don't want to scrape anyone off the ground when you pass out"
and
"When leaving the train, look on the seat next to you. There you will find your cell phone and/or your iPod. Good, now get off and go to work"

I giggled.

So the commute was crappy (again!), but still I smiled.

? Random ? Bad Blogger

2007-11-12T08:59:00.000-08:00

I haven't wanted to blog. It's not because I have nothing to say, or that there is something that I am avoiding talking about. It's more because I'm lazy when it comes to writing these days. I find my internal dialogue even a little bit boring, and I feel like I am not very interesting.

My weekdays have been spent working on never-ending data analysis that doesn't seem to want to go right no matter how many times I play with it and re-do it. My weekends have been uneventful for the most part. Spending time with Gemini, and playing poker to get out of the house.

Speaking of poker - I learned to play.
I hated it at first, but I was OK at it. My skill has evolved over the last two months or so, in that I now understand the rules for the most part, and I know what hands beat which (for the most part). But the more I learn I find the worse I actually get at playing. I've started thinking too much, and I end up folding hands I should have taken chances on. If you know poker, this means I basically just bet chips and then fold the hand, so I end up never winning because I'm too scared to play it out till the end. It sucks.

Besides that, nothing is new. I need to start opening my eyes and ears for stupid people again or something so I'll have something interesting to say.

And in case you are wondering....my acne is only partially cleared from last month. It really has an emotional attachment to my face now I think.

Acne

2007-10-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

Pimples are a part of life.
I get them when I'm stressed, or when I'm PMSing, or when I eat greasy food, or any combination of those things.
But I have this problem with the fact that I am currently breaking out like I'm mid-puberty and can't get these things to go away.
So right now, as you read this posting, I have at least (some are inseparable now since they are starting a pile-on fest around my mouth!!)...at least 8 rather large bright red pimples. They have claimed residence around the corners of my mouth mostly, though I've heard rumors of prime real estate elsewhere.
I'm pissed.

I can't look in the mirror and take myself seriously. All I see is acne.

And then I understand why all of those people who watch Jessica Simpson or whoever on the Proactive commercials are so easily convinced to start paying ridiculous amounts of money for face wash. I would do many things to make this go away. It's painful and ugly, and I am teaching. I hate standing up in front of a large group of people and watching people focus on my mouth, and mid-sentence wondering if they are trying to read my lips or count how many zits there are.

I know I'm being a drama queen, but I have to pretend to be like a girl sometimes right? Otherwise I'll lose my steady supply of estrogen and before I know it I'll have a permanently lowered voice.

On the bright side of things...It's almost Halloween, which means it's almost Christmas (and I LOVE christmas!!). I need costume ideas. Something funny, and warm (cause I'll be outdoors all night). And BONUS points for you if you can think of something that can be done as a couple, and even better if it's Cheap**

Confession Thursday

2007-10-04T05:00:00.000-07:00

It's Thursday, and it's early, and I haven't blogged in a long time. I can't think of anything, I have no ideas. My creativity is MIA, and nothing is sparking a good blog. So as always if someone has a topic for me, I'd be happy to bitch/talk/give my opinion on it. But in the mean time, I have some confessions to make:

1. I don't actually like playing pool (billiards) all that much. It's something I do every Thursday for the last year or so. I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. So why do I go you ask? Why would I pay money and spend time every week for something I don't really love? Because I love that I get to spend a night with Mama Dukes. We laugh and have fun. We have dinner together, sometimes a pedicure, and chat and bitch about our days (even if they aren't that bad really!). It's my guaranteed time with my mom, and so I look forward to Thursdays. But today Mama Dukes isn't coming, and I can't say I'm super-excited about going alone. I'll get through it though, but I'll miss her.

2. I judge you. I can't help it, that's what I've decided. I don't usually have a bad opinion of people immediately, but if you give me a reason, I will judge you. And it doesn't have to be something obvious, though it often is. For example, on the train this morning, I overheard a man talking politics to his quad of fellow commuters. He said "well, don't you think that voting should be limited to the portion of the population that is intelligent? The educated people should be the ones making the decisions" And I thought "HEY DUDE!! Does that mean you are giving up your right to vote you F'n ignorant @ssh*le?!!" and then I hated myself for a minute for hating people who were just born and raised to be jerks. Maybe it's not entirely their fault.

That's all for today.

Random

2007-09-27T06:28:00.001-07:00

I saw this on a wall in a pub in Australia. I have thought about it often since then. I think it might be true.

Out of the Loop

2007-09-26T07:03:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have a moment of clairity, when you realise that either something you have done or maybe something you have not done has caused a change you aren't happy with. I have felt this before, and I am feeling it again right this instant (hense the creation of this blog post).

I am sitting at the table reading an incredibly boring paper about something or another when I get this email that basically says, "I don't know if you're busy this date but all of "us" are going to do this...". The email is from a good friend of mine who I love to death, but haven't seen much of lately. I'm not sure how to take it, but I respond say of course I will go, especially since it happens to fall on the date of my other best friend's birthday.

For understanding purposes only I will describe our friendship as a triangle. It is (or at least used to be) the three of us always causing innocent trouble and hanging out every Friday and Saturday, and when something changed (and I mean every little thing!) we all knew about it. It's like a little clique. The kind you don't want to fall apart because there is an understanding that it will just always be that way. And once in a while there came a time or a person that would interrupt it a bit, and things would be a little different for a while, but not much, because really when it came down to it, we all knew that a few beers and a backyard chat would make everything all return to normal again.
But things have been a little different lately. We have all been dating (or prospectivly dating) someone for a long time (months or years) and these people have been taking up bits of our time. School (for me) and work (for them) have taken over our lives to some degree, and we no longer sit around and chat all night like we could back in the day. We are tired and need to go to work the next day, or have just worked all day, and rarely make it past midnight. Plans get in the way. Just life. And I arrive to this time, when now I feel like I've been left out of the loop. Like somewhere along the line (and I'm sure it's my fault to), I have let school, or sleep, or something get in the way of being involved in my friends lives.

And so I get this email, and it makes me a little sad because I can hear the tone in it that is accusing. That says basically "well if you think you can find the time for us...."
And I wonder when things changed. I think it was after a full month of emails four times weekly asking if she was busy, and getting a constant "yeah...". And trying to make plans soo far in advance that it seemed silly to have to plan time to just hang out. I think I stopped making the effort. But the other two corners of the triangle seems to be in tact. But that's just a line, and doesn't seem right.

They are playing sports together (I find out through email), and already have plans for the weekend (which I'm invited to, but it feels like an afterthought and makes me not want to go at all). My friend got her hunting license! and I didn't even know she started the course. So, I'm sad today. And I don't know how to get it back to normal.

And I offer this advice. If you care about someone or something, no matter how regular or busy things get, always make time for it/them, and never take it/them for granted.

End Blog.

Freaky Thursday

2007-09-21T07:24:00.000-07:00

First and most importantly, a shout out to my grandma who celebrates her birthday today!! Happy Birthday!!! My grandma is about the awsomest woman you'll ever meet, and I'm glad I'm a lot like her. I can't wait to see you Sunday :)

Also, my little sister celebrated her 17th yesterday. She's growing up faster than I want to think about, but she's a good kid. I think she'll turn out alright...Happy birthday to you!

And now...the blog

Yesterday was a bit of an odd day. Things were just happening, and the day was passing somehow without me noticing the time. It was strange, and strange things were happening.

Take for example, this guy at the train station after work. He was in his truck pulling out of the station while mom and I walked to the parked van, and he gave me this look. Not a look you give to a woman when she's with her mother you know? And I thought it was a bit strange. I waited a minute and told mom, "wow, that guy just gave me a really creepy look..." and so mom turns to check it out and the guy was not only still looking, but he was practically undressing me with his eyes, smiling, and he gave a sort of wave...eek. And I don't think I was dressed provocative or anything. Just a pair of jeans and a tank top (an not the kind with spaghetti straps or that cuts off midway or anything)

So, then we go for dinner at this sushi restaurant. The food is good there, and the atmosphere is really nice. Bonus is that it's close to where we play billiards on Thursdays, so we went. Both of us knew immediately what we were going to eat, so when the server came by we ordered our drinks and meals together. The place was pretty much empty at that point, but as we chatted and laughed and complained about our day, the place slowly filled with people. And the wait staff is going around collecting orders, and slowly we start to notice that every table in the place is being served except for us. Watching the fancy sushi-covered boats pass by was torture and I was starving. I at least expected that my Edamame (soy bean snack) would be there by then! But it turns out they forgot to put in our order. I should have known.

When we got to pool, I went to the washroom, and realized that after being back from Australia for 2 weeks, I still check under the toilet seats for spiders that might bite my ass and kill me!

Then I have to play pool, and during the game I was sucking. I couldn't sink the balls the way I planned, and it was frustrating. But the team we were playing was nice, and they joked throughout the night with our team. All in good fun. So while I'm playing, I have to rack the balls for my oponent more times then I would have liked (because it means I was never making the last ball), and on one of these times the guy broke and sunk the 9-ball off the break. In 9-ball, this is equivalent to sinking the 8-ball off the break. So the guy won the rack without trying. And his teammate yells, "Hey Aimee, nice rack!" to which mom responds "I hope you're talking about the game!". These types of jokes continued all night after that. When guys on the other team were doing well, the comments turned to "Nice balls!" and such...it was funny, but strange.
And then I went home to bed, and dreamt all night about waiting. I was waiting for people, and things to happen. I'm not sure what that was about, but I'm glad nothing strange has happened yet today. But it is still only morning, and I've done nothing but sit at my desk.

I think it might be a strange week. It all started when some guy dropped off a bouquet of fruit for the guy across the street.

Bone to Pick

2007-09-17T05:22:00.000-07:00

So I got on the express train again this morning, and I tell you, it's a mistake every time. Firstly, there isn't enough time to pull out the laptop and get any substantial work done in twenty five minutes, so I get to work faster but the trip is unproductive. So this morning I was people watching and drinking my extra-super-huge coffee, and listening to my MP3 player.

I took note of several things. There were two people wearing jeans! After thinking "holy crap, I'm not the only one in jeans! wait...is it Friday?...nope...it's still only Monday..." I realized that real people do take the express train, just not many. I also noted the fact that one of the two people in jeans checked the time 6 times on her cell phone, so really she's just one of "them" posing as normal.

The thing that really got me though is in the commuters newspaper, that everyone gets free in the morning to keep them quiet on the train for people who don't sleep enough at night and try to get 4 extra minutes...wow, that is a run-on sentence if I ever wrote one...I've even lost my train of thought....ANYWAYS....in the paper, there is this article that says that Kiera Knightley is twice the size of other actresses auditioning for the parts she does.

Now, I don't know who Kiera Knightley is, but I want to see what "twice the size" means, and I can't get a clear view of the picture rom the guy who's reading the article next to me. Well I could, but I'd look like a total creeper, and he'd probably blink sideways and tell me to get my own free paper. So I did. I grabbed a paper for the first time ever. It didn't have a good picture of her. But I'm still thinking about this at work, and so I look it up.

This is "twice the size";
So, I thought I would blog to make myself feel better about being gigantic!! The world is messed up, and if I had Keira Knightley's address, I would send her a lard sandwich. Actually, I'd pay the extra postage, and send her two. Stupid media.

Why Grad School Sucks

2007-09-13T05:34:00.000-07:00

Pretty much the only reason why graduate school sucks is:

I don't get to go school supply shopping in September.

It's that time of year when I got to go into a Staples and spend ridiculous amounts of money on new pens of every shade, and binders that had new and fabulous add-ons, and staples, and sticky notes!

I was thinking about it on the way to school this morning. I have no reason to buy any of that any more. Any notebooks I need are provided (and boring!), and I don't really get to be fancy about colour coding notes or making fun cue cards.

Gemini's little sister had a wicked binder with a built in pencil case and filing system!! Gosh, look what I'm missing out on! I'm a little cranky about it.

But on the bright side, Jen did get me a brand new set of MARKING PENS!! And I labeled them all with colour coded sticky notes with my name. That's as good as it gets this year (and really I didn't need them, but my sister is awsome!)

That's all...

Aussie land :D

2007-09-11T07:10:00.000-07:00

First and foremost - a shout out to Gemini (because he asked me to...hi!! I love you!!)

My trip to Australia is over, and I'm back home now. Back to work and school, and the normal grind of daily life. But I thought I might fill you all in a little bit on what happened when I was in the land down under.
Firstly, the plane ride is horrible! Unless you are really intent on going there and making the most of it (which requires longer than 10 days I might add...) then I wouldn't suggest it. It's long and cramped and if you are lucky, you'll get there without killing someone or yourself on the way. And that's assuming no plane delays and/or missed flights!

So we got there after 30 some-odd hours of airports and planes, and settled into our hotel rooms which had wonderful views of the township (I laugh that they call it a city) of Cairns. We spent night one walking the town and checking out the Esplanade (ie boardwalk) and the shops. We went to bed early and exhasuted. I slept from about 9:30 pm until midnight, not a very successful sleep, but conducive to calling home at 3am (1 in the afternoon Toronto time).

Friday we walked the town again, found some nice places to eat and shop, and hang out and relax. Nothing too exciting, but enough to tire me out again, and keep us busy. Then we found out that our trip to the rainforest wasn't going to happen, because the lady who was supposed to book us in, sent in the reuqest late, and it was full. So we booked a train ride up to a town called Kurunda on the top of a huge hill/mountain, and the skyrail down. The skyrail is carts that travel along a cable over the rainforest.

The trip was amazing. This was the view;
I also got to hold a koala bear;
And pet a kangaroo and some wallabees;

Sunday I started conference (ie. work) time. I attended several workshops in research, and the opening cerimonies. All in all I was there 14 hours, and have no exciting pictures to show. Monday through Wednesday are about the same. I have a picture of my poster, but that's about it. At night we ate and shopped a bit, and went to bed early for the most part. There was some food experiences. I ate Kangaroo, and emu, and crocidile, and bay bugs (lobster-like), and lamb (which was new to me). The food was expensive!! Even an appetizer was about $25. I tried to keep it cheap, but there weren't many cheap options unfortunatly.

I found a store with crocs, so I bought these beauties to save using a box of Bandaids per day;
Thursday we went to the Great barrier Reef, which was amazing. Unfortunatly I don't have a ton of pictures because the water cameras were expensive (and I haven't developed mine yet). But we went scuba diving (8m down for 30 min) and snorkelling (which was amazing!).

We saw tons of fishes, and I touched a few. including this huge fish!! that was about the size of my torso;
and I found Nemo!! although you can't really tell because the camera didn't pick up colours very well...the fish is actually brilliant orange and white;
I think the most amazing thing we saw was a beautiful sea turtle. It was about as big as the hole if you make a circle with your fingertips touching. It scared me at first actually, but it was harmless and I followed it around for quite a while;
Though the pictures don't do it justice;
The last day we were there we went to the Rainforest (originally booked for a week earlier). I'm glad we got to do this too. Everything we saw was amazing. And we got to stop at a gorge with tons of rocks, clear waters, and little waterfalls. It was also beautiful.

On this day trip we also got to go on a trip down the river to hunt crocidiles, and we found a few just chilling out on the edge of the river. Some were huge like this one;
And we went to a beach that was gorgeous. The sand was shiny, and the water was clear and blue;

The day was great. The trip was great. I talked to some important people, and saw things I'll prbably never get to see again in my life! All-in-all, it was fantastic, but I'm glad to be home, even if it means back to work!

Aussie Land

2007-09-03T21:55:00.000-07:00

Saying hello from Ausratlia! It's beautiful here. I know some people feel neglected because I can't seem to get a hold of them on the phone when I'm in the hotel, but I love you!! It's just expensive to call and keep getting an answering machine :)

I'm on my way out to take a walk and sit by the outdoor public pool, so I wont go into details now, but I spent the last half hour getting three pictures to post, so here it is folks;
Above is the view from the esplanade I walk every morning to get to the conference center. It looks like a nice beach, but it's actually inhabited by crocidiles, so you cant swim in it. It's beautiful to look at though!
This is the view from the skyrail tour I took above the rainforest. Again, one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen!
And this is a kangaroo I pet at an animal place in Karunga village at the top of a mountain. This picture is not zoomed. I was actually this close to a real live Kanga :)

Anyways, I will go into detail when I get home, but for now I am going to enjoy it while it lasts instead of sitting on the computer.

I love you and miss you all!!

xoxoxoxo

On my way

2007-08-28T05:32:00.000-07:00

To the land where the dingos run free and steal babies and such.

I leave in a few hours to begin the two day journey to the land down under. It will be a long couple of days but totally worth it! I look forward to taking undreds of pictures and with any luck (and internet) being able to update frequently. I'll be lonely after all. I hear Koala bears dont keep good company.

I love you all!! wish me luck :)

cairnes

2007-08-16T07:28:00.000-07:00

Check it out!
This is Walshe's pyramid. It is the tallest natural standing pyramid in the world, and I will be hiking it on the last day that I'm in Cairns (Australia). That's assuming I can make it to the top. It's apparently quite a challange, and I can beleive it from this picture!!

I leave in 11 days. I'm nervous and scared and excited.

Expect to hear more...I'll be lonely

Camping

2007-08-07T06:18:00.000-07:00

I'll start this post by saying that camping has always been a bit of a love/hate thing for me. I love being outside and sitting by the campfire at night and having a few drinks with friends. I love the parts where everyone is having fun, and getting away from real life for a while. But every camping trip no matter how long or short has it's extreme ups and downs. This weekend was no different.

There were 12 of us, a good mix of people all set out to have a great time. We arrived to find a family setting up camp on one of our sites, but it was ok because they had made a mistake. But I felt bad that they had to take down their tent and start over. But soon enough, the tents were up, the mattresses were pumped up (we camp in style) and the first beers were cracked. We started a fire, got the guitars out, and had a great night.
But, as always, someone has to be the first one to fall asleep / pass out from drinking too much =)
Saturday most of the people went to the beach, drank too much again, and came back to the site to get lunch. I spent most of the day in the shade under a tree on an air mattress with Gemini, hanging out and chatting. My idea of a great day. When everyone returned, they set up a game. Truly a fun camping game, we like to call "Cups". The set up involves two dowels placed about a foot apart (the width of a frisbee). Two cups are placed upside down on top of the dowels, and the same set up about 20 feet away. The idea is that you have to toss a frisbee from your side to the other side and try to either hit the cups off, or get the frisbee through the poles. It's hard. Now, we play this as a drinking game. So if you knock a cup off and the other team doesn't catch it before it hits the ground, then you get a point. If you get it through without knocking cups off, then you get two points. A new twist was added this camping trip. If you hit both cups off at the same time, you had to funnel a beer.

So basically there is a funnel attached to a long tube that is filled with beer. As soon as you let go of the end of the tube, the beer flows fast into your mouth. You basically end up drinking a beer in about 4 seconds flat. It's not generally a good idea, but camping is a time of heavy drinking for all (or almost all). I chose not to participate in this game until the last day for fear of having to funnel. But the others played for hours.
Saturday night was quiet around the fire (everyone was tired from the daytime). I didn't drink at all, but got called "mom" several times. Something to do with packing little baggies of trail mix and being too responsible I think. Haha. There might have been a watermelon that was spiked with booze, but I'm not going to tell...
By Sunday, everyone had consumed far too much alcohol. They used more alcohol to combat the inevidible hangover. I hadn't been drinking, so I felt fine, and was happy to go to the beach and catch a few rays of sunshine. We hung out there for the day. When we got back, there had obviously been a lot of "cups" being played. A few people were already in the tents taking mid-afternoon "naps". There was a bit of a tiff over getting firewood (ie. I was the only one sober, so I had to go, but I needed car keys which seemed to be MIA). But everything got settled, firewood arrived, and more alcohol was consumed.

Monday went much the same way for some, though I just packed my stuff up with Gemini, hit the beach one last time and headed out. My liver is still well and functioning, but I'm not sure I can say the same for the rest of the bunch!

I don't know why I do it. I'm too old for group camping. Or at least I feel like it...

Tagged =)

2007-07-27T10:26:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Brianne.
So, I'm going to try to do this (and not sound boring). Here goes nothing!

The Rules: Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The game rules are posted at the beginning of the post. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment to let them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. My first habit I'd like to mention (cause on this blog, I have no shame!) is checking behind closed shower curtains before I sit down on the toilet or brush my teeth. I'm paranoid, and if anyone was going to get attacked by some creepy dude hiding in the shower, it would definitly be me. As a sidenote: I have no freakin clue what I would do if there ever was somebody in there. I'd probably freeze and get attacked...but it's better knowing!

2. I have a mentos addiction. Every Thursday night while at the bar for pool, I eat at least 2 packs of mentos (sometimes more!). I eat them all within 120 seconds of opening the package, so if you want one, you have to be forceful. I have also been known to eat mentos belonging to other people (Mama Dukes) if they are left on the table too long. But only Thursdays. A girl has to have limits!

3. I misplace things. Not just once in a while like normal people, but all the time. It could be as quickly as using a brush and then putting it down and not being able to remember where it is when I go to pick it up 4 seconds later. I sometimes decide to put things into a "safe" place and then forget where that place is. Take for example my house keys. I moved them when we went to Quebec, cause I wasn't home and would need them. But then I couldnt find them for weeks. I finally got new keys cut, but they didn't have a keychain. So I went to put them in the side pocket of my purse, only to see my old housekey safe and sound. The funny part: my purse only has 3 pockets, and none of them are big....

4. I worry. It's a habbit in my oppinion. I think too much about how other people are thinking, or how they'll react to something. Then I worry unnecessarily (sometimes) about it. I am trying to break this habit. But it means people aren't always happy with me. I have a hard time when people dont think I'm perfect...

5. Fun fact #5 is that I don't like swimming. I don't do it well, and I sometimes feel like if I was left to my own devices in a large body of water, I would die. I would either worry so much that I would give up, or I wouldn't be able to keep myself above water. This makes activities like white water rafting absolutly out of the question. Life jacket or not!

6. I like white. I like when things are off-white or shades of white because it makes me feel clean. I think I get bored of colours too quickly, and I can just imagine how much bacteria can hide in blue fabric, or on black countertops. My house will potentially be an asylum, or resemble a surgery room.

7. I attract crazy people. Enough said (remember the paranoid thing...)

8. I eat when I'm bored, or when I have to sit for a long time, or when I'm happy, or sad, or cranky. I eat when I'm PMSing, and when I celebrate, or when I just feel like a break...In other words, I love food. I'll almost never turn down food. Oh and another habit...eating everything on my plate. I sometimes also eat the garnish. Like last night when I munched on the carrot and cucumber garnish on my spring roll plate. Oh me...

I am going to tag Mama Dukes, Mark (cause he never blogs anymore), Kate, Colleen, and whoever else reads this thing. Feel free to send an email if you don't have a blog. I really like seeing into other people's lives (another fun fact about me!).

Quebec

2007-07-19T09:51:00.001-07:00

So this post comes under pressure, because really none of us want to take the time to blog it, but all of us promised we would. So here goes nothing! (Warning it might be a bit long because it was a 5 day trip with hundeds of pictures to choose from). I'll start with classic quotes because we (Jenny in particular) are amusing.

Jen: “I wish I brought my squishy” – exactly 45 seconds after leaving the house (squishy is a stuffed animal thing)

Jen “I brought baby powder”

Aimee: “why?”

Mom: “Us fat people need to put it under our boobs”

Bri: “My bra holds mine up”

Mom: “Well we don’t put the bottle under our boobs!”

Jen: “Haha, we just passed choda road”

Mom: “What’s a choda?”

Jen: “The piece of skin between a guys asshole and his balls”

Aimee: “Well you asked…”

Jen: “It was like a mini geyser in my mouth!” – in reference to throwing up a little in her mouth

Most often muttered phrase (by everyone): “fuckin quebecois…”

DAY 1: A Long drive completed entirely by mama dukes even though there were two other licenced and willing drivers. Some fun and games (Buzzword etc.), singing along to 80's classics, homemade egg salad sandwiches. We get to the Delta Hotel downtown Quebec. It's raining and crappy outside. We let the valet take our van even though we didn't get all of our stuff out. We thought we could just go back to the parking, but they take the keys. They fetch it for you every time. Silly us. So we go to the front desk to check in, only to find out we don't have a room until the next night. Now it's some art festival thing in Quebec this week, so we panick, but we end up getting a room, and we unpack. We order pizza (because we didn't want to wander in the rain), and watch 'Bedknobs and Broomsticks' until each and every one of us falls asleep before 10pm.

DAY2: We wake up, set up mom's booth for work (this was a work trip first and foremost for her). We get stuck in the conference center. We can't find an exit that will let us out without sounding an alarm. Mom gets pissed while we all laugh. This was also a common pattern throughout the trip :)
So we wander down the hilly (freakin hilly!!) streets and find a little cafe called L'Oeuforie. We all order delicious fantastic Frenchie Brunch. For me, this meant creps (which were a first for me!) with strawberries and bananas and white chocolate sauce.
The other girls all order an assortment of eggs, french toast, beans, creton (French Pork pate, ie. barf), etc. All of which was enjoyed until Mama Dukes goes to put her egg onto her toast. She misses. She drops the ketchup covered egg (runny yolk and all!) all down the front of her shirt, and it drops under the table. We all laugh, except mom. She's ready to cry. Her day is ruined! She's pissed off again. We laugh and give her a Tide to Go pen. She cleans up a bit (still pissed) and then realizes that the egg may or may not have fallen directly into her purse under the table. We all laugh histarically at the prospect of this happening. We laugh until we are all crying. But then we check, and sure enough the egg landed on the deck instead.
We then wandered through the walled city, checking out all of the little cobblestone streets and a perfect piece fo culture that is Quebec city. It was really nice, and none of the girls (besides myself) had dever been there, so we took our time, and took a bazillion pictures. I felt like the architecture paporattzi.
We went for dinner with a colegue of moms. We ate at a little Swiss restaurant. We had Fondue Chinois (chineese fondue for those of us who don't parlez fancais). It was strips of thin beef and scallops, shrimps, and salmon, cooked in a pot of boiling onion soup and dipped in various mayonaises and mustard sauces. It was delicious. We then wandered to music. A live band playing ska punk of some sort. A local band I think. It wasn't our cup of tea. We went back to the hotel and were again asleep by 10pm.

DAY3: Mama Dukes had to work, and it was rainy. So us three sisters wandered Quebec getting wet and causing trouble. We found the naughty video store but didn't go in. We took pictures of random people on the street who were dressed funny, and went to a museum (of civilization) where we also took pictures we weren't supposed to (so they wont be posted) so that mom could see that she didn't miss much! Then we headed back to meet mom for a bit, before she headed off again to a fancy-pants dinner on the river, and we tried to find somewhere to eat. We found a restuarant with pountine (which was important to us!) but after Jen called to see if we needed a reservation, we found out it was equivalent to A&W or some such place. We had a good laugh. We ate at a little Italian restauant. Jen had milk shoot out he nose. I got it on video. Good times. Again, in bed before 10pm.

DAY 4: Mama Dukes had to work in the morning, so we went out again. Today we found the actual naughty store. I'm not telling if we went in or not... We found a brekfast place. Brianne got rotten chocolate milk, and we took pictures of a random old crazy woman while pretending to take pictures of us. Otherwise uneventful.
We met up with mom again, and walked the street all day. We saw the rest f old Quebec. The Chateau Frontenac. Took a horse and buggy ride, which was awsome, and let us see some more things we hadn't. We all hurt alot at the end of this day. We went to the pool at the hotel after, met a nice woman from Scotland, chatted, and chilled out. Had dinner at the hotel. Tipped the bitchy wait staff, even though I told mom not to.

DAY 5: Buffet breakfast at the hotel. I managed to steal 2 packs of caramel sauce, and a chocolate croissant (which was delicious) for the car ride home. Jen stole a pastry of some kind too. Brianne took nothing. She's learned nothing from us, obviously! Mom went back to man the booth one last time and we checked out, and went to the mall to get creton (yeah, the barfy pig fat) for the crazy French person in our house (ie. Mama Dukes) to eat on toast with mustard. We went back, collected mom, and she drove back (all 11 hours!!) the whole way, even though there were 2 willing and able drivers in the car.
On the way home it's raining, and we hit Montreal at rush hour. The highway is packed, and a woman merges without merging (not wanting to get in line, but instead trying to bypass on the shoulder). Then noone will let her in. She tries and tries, but she's screwed. And a white moving van has plans for her. She tries passing using the next off ramp. He cuts her off. We laugh. She tries to get in over and over again, but can't cause this van keeps blocking her. She throws her cell phone, she slams the stearing wheel, and is obviously raging. It's hilarious. We are all histarical in the car. She sees everyone laughing at her, and gets more pissed. She finally falls in behind moms van. Then sees an opening, and pulls out (again!) into the shoulder to get behind the white van, who proceeds to slam his breaks every four seconds almost causing an accident. I laughed so hard my throat hurt until the next day. She followed the van off the highway. I wish I could see the end of it. Like missing the end of a good movie.

The trip ended when we walked in the door to greet our puppies who missed us soo much. All in all a fantastic trip (Though I couldn't do it justice in one blog...)

I write blogs in my head

2007-07-06T11:45:00.000-07:00

Just so everyine knows, I often think of blogging, and I even sometimes go as far as writing blogs in my head, but I noticed I haven't *actually* blogged in an awful long time.

So, the quickest update (although I'm on holidays for a few days starting tomorrow, so I'm hoping to blog then as well.

1. I am busy busy busy. I'm working on finishing data analysis, writing a paper for publishing, making a poster for the Australia conference, and preparing for my transfer (to PhD) exam
2. Family is great, Gemini is great, and friends are great
3. Why do people fake tan in the middle of summer?
4. Sometimes I want to take pictures of strange people just to blog about them. Is this OK / legal?
5. My friend is getting married and having a wedding shower. There is a theme. It is all things naughty (yes, that kind of naughty). It's presents by alphebet. They gave me "Z" because apparently I'm creative. Help me out folks...
6. I'm going to Quebec city with my Mama Dukes and my sisters. It's going to be super-fun! I'm going to try to post about it while we are there if we can get internet (I will travel the city with my laptop in hand to steal wireless internet (but dont tell...)

Those were the blogs I intended to write lately (obviously a very condensed version).

I'll update soon!!

Hell's Kitchen

2007-06-27T17:22:00.000-07:00

If you don't watch this show, it is basically a reality show in which the purpose is to chose one chef who will take over the running of a big fancy restaurant. The catch is that the chef that is in charge and chooses the winner is mean. In fact, he seems incredibly mean to the point where I sometimes feel like crying when he yells at the people on the show. What's funny about it though, is that he seems like he's actually a nice guy when he isn't watching over the kitchen at dinner service. He takes the winners of the weekly challange to do cool things, and chats with them about important thing, like how to be a better chef.

Don't ask me why I love this show, but as much as I am not a TV watcher, I eally do like this one. I think it might have something to do with the fact that once upon a time, I convinced myself that I would be a chef one day. I love cooking, but I couldn't handle that kind of pressure. Well sometimes I think I might be able to, but it's kind of like when I watch "So you think you can dance" and I think for a short while that *I* can dance (which is totally untrue).

So, tune in to chef Ramsay and the gang, and laugh at the people being yelled at, and thank God that it isn't you. Cause that's what I do once a week. Soo good.

Strawberry Jam

2007-06-26T09:44:00.000-07:00

I don't know if there is a better way to spend a Saturday than picking strawberries in the sun, bring them home and spending the afternoon making jam with the family. I quite enjoyed it despite the burn on my shoulders cause I didn't think of suncreen, the red-stained finger nails, sore back, and messy kitchen :)

I wish I had taken pictures in the strawberry fields but I didn't think of it (even though I had my brand-spanking-new camera strapped to my back). But the process went something like this:

If you aren't jelous...you seriously should be

Further Amusment

2007-06-21T12:08:00.000-07:00

I'm in the lab, and the discussion goes south (you know how it is...)

Now on the whiteboard is written:

"DO RATS GET BLUE BALLS?"

YES /////////////// NO

1 //////////////// not when I'm around! ;)

Amusing

2007-06-21T05:31:00.001-07:00

I am easily amused. I admit it. It doesn't take much to make me laugh, and sometimes at the most inappropriate times. Like the time I was on the train and there are these new little TV things that are lined along the ceiling in some of the newer train cars. There was a commercial for Hepititis vaccinations and I laughed out loud. Very inappropriate to say the least. I laughed because of the time we played the random game, and the category was "Things that are yellow" and Robbie said "People with hepititis". I will forever think hepititis is funny. I'm evil, and I'm going to hell. It's OK though, I've accepted it.

So last night I'm blowdrying my hair in my room, and Gemini is laying on my bed bored out of his mind, but I know I don't need to amuse him. He amuses me. It's practically his job. So, he's laying the and I'm occupied. I turn around and he's playing with Hunny's toys. The night before she had ripped some of the fluff out of her green "Bedtime baby" and he thought this was amusing. So, he grabs the nearest bedtime toys Hunny has left around (for which she has hundreds, even after I threw out a whole garbage bag full the other day) and he does this:

Which is funny in and of itself...even at first glance. But let me zoom in a little for you, so that you can get the full effect:
No, you aren't imagining it...that is a tiny fluff penis and matching fluff testicles! I laughed alot. And continued to laugh about it as I grabbed the camera and captured it to share with the blogging world. The funniest part was when Hunny noticed all of her babies lined up she got pissed off. She barked at me until I put her up on the bed so she could disassemble them, and make the scene a little more PG.

I guess she wasn't as amused as I was...she actually looked a little pissed about it, I'm not going to lie:

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia!!

2007-06-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

I realized I haven’t blogged in a thousand years, so here it is. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this yet, but I am officially going to Australia, and my work has been accepted for presentation. So I will finish my data analysis, and make a poster of some sort. Then when we go there (my supervisor, and the other master’s student in my lab) I will present my work on 2 of the 5 days. It is exciting and scary, and stressful because it’s a real deadline (instead of the artificial kind that I create for myself all the time). So, we have planned the trip to go something like this (though some of it is not set in stone of course).

August 28^th (around 3pm): get to airport

6:40pm: flight leaves the airport (5.15 hours in flight) and lands at L.A. airport where we stay about 3 hours before boarding another flight to Melbourne, AUS (flight time: 15.15 hours).

August 30^th (9:35am AUSSIE time): get on the third plane to go backwards 3 hours to Cairns. Total flight time: 23 hours, 45 min. Total travel time: 28 hours 10 minutes (assuming all goes perfect and we don’t miss a flight or something)

August 30^th (around 2:00pm AUSSIE time, in real people time it’s actually midnight turning into Aug 30): Check into hotel and hit the beach to relax and unwind from a shitty 30 hours en route. Do nothing but relax for the next 16 hours.

August 31^st – check out the city, the beach, the shops, relax, and miss home.

September 1^st – do a full day tour of the rainforest from sunrise until dinner time. Go back to the hotel for a nap and journal time. Miss home, and then go out to get drunk (?) and meet some cute Aussies (?) Tee hee

September 2^nd – Trainee orientation and workshops for the conference all day. The other master’s student arrives today, so likely hit the beach and meet some other “young” people before going to some pub and socializing (because this is the most important part of conferences so I’m told). In down time: journal and miss home.

September 3^rd (conference day 1) – trainee breakfast starts at 7am, then sessions (with breaks for tea and lunch) until 4pm. Then it’s my turn to present my work (4-6pm). Nighttime – undecided (possibility for night zoo walk to pet a dingo and learn tribal dance, depending on how tired we are). Back to the hotel to journal, and cry about missing home.

September 4^th (conference day 2) – Trainee breakfast at 7am, then sessions until 12:30pm. Hitting the beach in the afternoon for some alone time while supervisor and other student go white water rafting (crazy cats!). Probably write a lot, try to get a tan, take a nap, and cry about missing home.

September 5^th (conference day 3) – Trainee breakfast at 7am, then sessions (with breaks for tea and lunch) until 4pm. Then it’s my last opportunity to present my work (4-6pm). Go back to the hotel to journal and miss home. Nighttime will be spent in the city, doing what cool people do (can you tell we have left our night plans open? I think it might have something to do with pitchers, and pubs, but I’m not telling).

September 6^th (last conference day 4) – ummm…we aren’t going. Instead, we are going to spend the entire day (10am-6pm I think) chilling out on a catamaran and snorkeling in the great barrier reef. It’s going to be amazing. I’m pumped about it (and only a tiny bit guilty about missing the whole last day of the conference). Spend the evening journaling, sleeping, and being ridiculously home-sick. Cry.

September 7^th (last day in AUS) – tentative plan is to wake up early, rent a car, and head to the highest natural pyramid in the world. Spend 6-8 hours hiking up and down it (just over a kilometer high, but super steep, and a difficult hike). Go back to the beach and finish our tan. Nap. Journal. Get excited to go home. Start drinking…

Keep drinking….

September 8^th (3:00 am Aussie time) – arrive at Cairns airport (hammered?). Hope that the hangover doesn’t kick in before we have time to order more drinks on the flight. Stay drunk whilst flying to Brisbane (flight time 2:05), then 2.5 hour stopover before getting on a flight back to L.A (flight time: 12:55) and hopefully passing out/getting some sleep, another 2:55 stopover, and 4:40 minute flight before arriving at the airport (home sweet home) on September 8^that 5:35pm. Total travel time on the way back: 25:05.

Something tells me that if I live through this work trip / vacation, I’ll have some awesome stories and pictures to tell / show. I’m officially excited.

Now I just have to work on getting a passport so I can actually leave the country.

Something Different

2007-05-31T06:09:00.000-07:00

If anyone hasn't seen the Dairy Queen commercial with the waffle cup dude and the ice cream gal, with chocolate sauce, I highly suggest you go to Google, and search it. It's hilarious at the end when the guy shudders. I laugh about it every time I think of it.

Another good video clip is a skit done by Wil Ferrel and his daughter. Go to Google, and search for "Pearl the Landlord" and watch it. It's hilarious as well.

And if anyone has a weirdo sense of humor like me, go to Utube and search "shoes" and watch the music video. And if you enjoy that (which takes a special kind of person) then link to "muffins" by the same people. In my opinion, it's soo stupid it's funny. Kind of like Austin Powers or Napoleon Dynamite.

My sense of humor is different than some I think , but whatever, I'm awesome.

Oh, and speaking of awesome...I might get to see my little Einstein princess tonight!! Mama Dukes mentioned the possibility of going to pick her up and go for a play date. If I can make a decent plan by then, I might figure out a way to steal her, and keep her, and convince her to call me "mommy" so that when her parents want her back, she will forget who they are and tell the judge (using sign language) that I am the best (and only) mommy she's ever known :)

Judas Cradle

2007-05-30T11:29:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about sleep again, and deciding what would be a good method for human sleep deprivation. The people in my lab went for lunch together yesterday, and had a conversation about the kid who stayed awake for 11 days (supposedly) for a science fair project. Apparently, some other dude was trying to break the record by staying awake longer, but the Guinness Book of World records didn't even want to accept it because it was too dangerous. So, it got me to thinking about sleep deprivation in humans and what it does.

There aren't many reported cases. In fact most of the cases of sleep deprivation of more than about 2 days are due to drugs, disease, interrogation or torture, all of which would have health effects outside of loosing sleep. But I thought about my little rats, who I would never ever sleep deprive for 11 days because it would be mean. But humans have a conscious mind that can decide (at least for a while) that it doesn't want to sleep. In the name of science.

So we joked about staying awake for the 4 days that the rats are awake, just to see how it feels. We joked, but then I got curious. I asked how long my lab-mates would sleep if they were not required to go to bed and wake up at work times. Every one of them responded between 8 and 10 hours. But why? Because sleeping is fun, or feels productive? I don't get it. You definitly don't need 10 hours of sleep. In fact, so far the closest researchers have come to deciding on the optimal sleep time was 7.5 hours per night. So, why do we like to sleep so much? Good question...

I also thought about how I feel when I'm really tired. I don't think that kid could have stayed awake for 11 days straight. Maybe he got a very little bit of sleep, but not NONE. I don't believe it. And if it is possible, then I would love to see it for myself. I would love to do tests on him too. Measure his heart rate, and take blood samples to see if his immune system sucks after. It would be fascinating. And no one did it. There were apparently reporters and such with him, so why were't there doctors? Why weren't they studying him? He apparently held a press conference and seemed coherent and fine during it. But then, why did he stop? who decided on 264 hours?

I read some stuff on human sleep deprivation. Picture this: during times of war etcetera, people use sleep deprivation as a form of interrogation and torture. The drive to fall asleep is soo strong that even being strung up above a pyramid naked and tied in such a way that if you fell asleep the pyramid would be in a painful place; doesn't work to keep you awake. Seriously. It's called a Judas Cradle. I will include a picture, but only to give you an idea of the seriousness of our need to sleep.
I know I couldn't stay awake even 1/3 that long, so how did the kid do it? I don't think he did. End of story. I have a hard time believing it anyways.

And I couldn't think of a way to humanely sleep deprive a human. So I guess the at-home deprivation that I was thinking about isn't going to happen. Maybe another year. I hope that this guy who can't get a Guinness award at least makes some scientific measurements on himself. For me, and for science :)

Happy, Grumpy, Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful, and Dock!

2007-05-27T18:27:00.001-07:00

How many seconds does it take you to figure out which one of the seven dwarfs is missing? I stole him and took him to my lab (that's your only clue!!) to join the rats. He fits right in...

It's Sleepy!! (ah, haha I crack myself up!)

I'm writing this post because it's the only way I can think of to dissipate some of the guilt I felt this morning when I went into the lab (yes, on a Sunday...). You see I'm doing this experiment that requires that I keep rats awake for a few days. It's not cruel like in the "olden days" (ie. the late 80's and early 90's) when they could keep animals awake until they died. Definitely doesn't match that caliber. But I still felt a little bit of guilt because I know what it means to be tired. I've had my fair share of lost sleep too, but I choose this. My cutie pies didn't have a choice. But they are happily sleeping now, and tomorrow when I give them a big kiss and hug, they will love me again, and they can get fat on raisins and nuts until the end of their days (which might unfortunately be sooner than later) And they were tired let me tell you. And it reminded me of a story.

When I was younger I was always interested in sleep. I think everyone is. Or maybe it was just me being a curious kid. I studied the lost city of Atlantis too, so that might be a hint as to my nerdiness from birth. Anyways, I would read the crock-of-sh*t dream dictionaries, and read watch documentaries on sleep. It's fascinating because we all do it, and there are still soo many sleep mysteries. Even to this day. And before I grew up and discovered the messed up properties of my own sleep, I was merely curious as to why Mama Dukes "made me" do it. I thought for sure it was just a ploy to get us out of her hair, and once my head hit the pillow, I was sure that's when all the excitement began.

So one night I'm hanging out with my mom's friend's son. His name is Josh, and he's over for a visit with his mom. He's spending the night. Jen and I were still sharing a room at this point, so I was pretty young. We had bunk beds and our bedroom window looked out onto the ground because we were in a first floor apartment. That night Josh and I decided to be rebellious and not sleep. We decided early on in the night. Before it got dark, and our eyelids got heavy. But we promised each other, so there was no backing down.

We pretended to sleep until the parents went to bed and then we got out the flashlight we had hid away earlier, and got busy. We made a make-shift stage out of books and such, and played with Alivin-and-the-chipmunks action figures I think we got from McDonalds or something. We might have wasted an hour. And that's when it started. The overwhelming tired feeling. When your eyes start to burn, and your eyelids droop a little lower. It actually becomes difficult to concentrate on anything other than sleeping. It's like your whole body needs to rest now, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. So we both felt it coming. We talked about it, and decided that if one of us closed our eyes for even one second too long, that the other one would poke them to wake up. We did this for what seemed like a lifetime. We turned the bedroom light on. We didn't care at this point that if our mothers were to wake up to use the washroom, we would surely get scolded. The light helped, for a while.

I remember talking for a long time. I think we must have spent the majority of the night describing how tired we were, and how awesome it was that we were pulling an all-nighter. We did it too. We looked out the window and saw the first bit of sunlight start to peek above the horizon, and we decided that was enough. We had done it! We stayed up all night!! It was probably only 5am, but it didn't matter. The sun was out, so it counted. So we were excited but disappointed. The last thing we talked about before falling asleep was how little happened during the night. Everyone was just sleeping the whole time!

Since then I have pulled several all-nighters, but it's never been that exciting ever again. Now it's to finish assignments or prepare work. Sometimes you just stay up talking with roommates or friends soo long you hardly notice the time passing and the sun coming up. But it never lasts long. Never more than 48 hours. It kills your brain too fast.

If I don't sleep enough now, my body steals it. I will continue writing or talking, but I'll definitely be asleep. Never for long, but just long enough to keep me going. My sentence is usually spoken or written incoherently, and when I wake up in the middle of it, I realize I just sounded ridiculous. There's no way to cover it up either. I just get embarrassed and admit it. Oh sorry...I was sleeping....

If anyone is interested...I'm looking for human volunteers for my own personal at-home experiment. It might involve sleep-deprivation as a method of interrogation...I'm not sure :)

You Know the Feeling...?

2007-05-25T05:25:00.000-07:00

When you do something so dumb that it would qualify you for an award if there were stupid-police running around spying on people and waiting for them to do something ridiculous? And then you go all red in the face, and wonder if anyone noticed just how stupid you've just been? This has happened to me, but I'm choosing not to recount the tales for fear of losing any dignity that I have left. Instead I will share with you a story.

So Mama Dukes and I are on our way to work this morning. It's about 6:55 or 7:00am and we are pulling into the drive through at Tim Hortons. We do this every morning pretty much, so nothing is new or different or exciting. Except that there is a woman in an SUV with her huge gas-guzzling vehicle running behind a PARKED car. Just sitting there.

So Mama Dukes and I look, and wonder if she's wanting to go through the drive through. I say "no way, she must just be waiting for someone. The other car is PARKED". It wasn't particularily close to the drive through entrance either, and there was no line. The speaker that miraculously takes orders was lonely. So, we made a move and pulled into the drive through. A few cars follow behind us and form a line.

At this point you see a confused woman in an SUV reverse, and pull away from the PARKED car, and pull into the line-up of cars in the drive through. Mama Dukes and I laugh a lot at her stupidity. Granted she hadn't had her coffee yet, but still!! You've got to be a zombie not to notice that the car in front of you isn't moving! and there's noone in the drivers seat!!

I wonder how long she was waiting there before we pulled in and she realized she's a freakin moron!! And stopped cursing the car in front of her for not pulling through the drive through. Ah hahaha. If she has any brain cells left after all the white-out and permenant markers she must have sniffed as a kid, she'll probably think about this incident all day (at least!) and maybe even every time she pulls up to a drive through.

Good times...

Tagged a While Back

2007-05-24T05:51:00.000-07:00

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

Next select five people to tag: (if you haven’t done it already)

Mama Dukes
Kate
Mark
Nobody else reads my blog that also has a blog (that I know of)
I suck

What were you doing 10 years ago?

Ten years ago I would have been 14. That would put me in summer just after 9th grade. Wow. I had just finished a hellish year in highschool where I was picked on pretty terribly. The worst part about it was that I was totally head-over-heals crushing on the guy who was the worst culprit. I dated him in seventh grade for 3 months 21 days (and yes, I still remember, I was obsessed). I don't know why he broke up with me. It might have had something to do with the fact that we were like 13 and that much time seems like a lifetime to be dating someone. I had my heart broken for the first time, and then he decided he would make fun of me. He carried it on through highschool. I was miserable, and depressed, and I had one friend in the world.

My best friend's name was Erin. She was miserable also. We fed on eachother's depression, to the point where things started to get bad. For me, I was too chicken to pass the point of angry music and army boots. But she wasn't. She started the infamous depressed 9th grade cutting, and expected me to follow. I consider myself lucky that I've never been a follower, because I am an all-or-nothing type. She wasn't. But I still wasn't happy. My mom announced that we were moving and I begged her to move as far away from where we were as we could. We comprimised on moving to a place where it was feasible for me to attend a different highschool, and for Jen to remain at hers. At this point in the summer, we had just moved (maybe three weeks earlier), and I was still a loner. But I wasn't picked on any more. I walked around discovering little areas in the neighborhood where I could be alone in peace, and I started to heal.

Alot has happened in ten years, and I feel like every single change has been for the better. I am happy. And I am able to appreciate my family, my education, and my past. For hwat it has taught me.

And...I recently talked to that guy. You know the one who I fell hard for, and he made my life miserable for a long time? He not only apologized but he tried to rekindle what only ever existed in my head. Luckily, I had just met Gemini that week, and I knew he was something special, so I was tempted, but I didn't meet him. He still messages me asking to "go for drinks" and such. I think that part of my life is better left in the past. I'm excited to see what the next 10 years will bring.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

Exactly one year ago today I was in Hailybury at a convent that was being converted into condos. I went to visit my now-ex-boyfriend. I went with his cousins up north. It was fun in that we had a HUGE place to ourselves. We ran around the place screaming and yelling, and noone could hear. There was about 500 rooms with things to discover, a full sized gymnasium to play in (complete with a stage), a wicked restaurant-style kitchen, and a fully accessable rooftop to view the town and the lake. We played guitar, and fished, cooked, watched movies, and relaxed. It was great...except for the fact that there was underlying tension between my ex and I. We both knew the relationship was over by this point. In fact, it had been over for quite some time probably. I don't know if it was just too scary to admit after 8 years, but we didn't even talk about it until the last day. I mentioned that I had barely seen him in the 4 days I was there. We were sleeping in seperate beds, and generally not enjoying eachothers company as anything more then good friends. That part was a little bit sad, and took a long time to accept. But I had a great time besides that. This time next year, I'll have a different, but also wonderful May-24 to look back on.

Five snacks you enjoy:

Cookies!!
Fruit
Candies (mentos, or anything sour)
Veggies (usually with salt, which makes this snack go from good to not-so-good)
Anything crunchy, or crispy, or chewy, or delicious. Let's face it...I snack all day. Today I brought dry cheerios, an orange, and hot chocolate as snacks. I know I shouldn't need brekfast and lunch as well, but I brought yogart and soup. I love food :D

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:

Miss world - Hole
I like Big Butts - Sir Mix-a-lot
In your eyes - Ben Harper
Broken - Seether
Nothing Else Matters - Metallica

I know the words to hundreds of more, but those were just the first 5 I thought of. I love music, and I love music with meaningful lyrics especially. So I listen for it.

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

Buy mama dukes her bungalo. In (or close to) the town we live in now.
Pay off my (and my sisters) student loans, and any other debt that exists in my family.
Help my best friends.
Travel. Constantly. Until I practically ran out of money. But I'd do this after finishing school. So that when I got back, I could get a job and support my family.
Save. For children if I decide to have them. For their education. And if I don't have kids, I'll use the money to travel when I retire. To everywhere I didn't get to go before starting my career.

And I would do it in that order too. Not that I've thought about it...

Five bad habits:

Swearing
Judging people within minutes (sometimes seconds) of meeting them
Not sleeping enough
Eating too much and too often
Wearing an angry face by default (even if I'm very happy)

Five things you like doing:

Thinking
Hanging out with my family
Hanging out with Gemini
Writing
Reading

Five things you would never wear again:

Shoulder pads
Leggings
Stirrup pants
The pony tail holders with the big plastic balls on the ends that snap the shit out of your fingers when you lose your grip
body suits (ah hahaha, I laugh thinking about it)

PS. Four of those were stolen from Brianne's answers, but they were just soo good I had to leave them!! I could have added other horrible 80's and 90's trends like flourencent colours, and layered socks!!

Five favorite toys:

My boy toy (does that count? haha)
My dog (she's a toy breed...and I play with her, so that totally counts!!)
my MP3 player
my laptop
My baby beans

Family Circus

2007-05-24T03:32:00.000-07:00

I took the liberty of adding an extra day to my 3-day weekend, and extending my time to include both Friday and Monday. Four days to relax, unwind, and hang out with…the guys :D Gemini’s friends were all heading up to a cottage to hang out and do stuff that guys do, and I somehow got an invitation. So I’m chatting with Gemini the night before we leave (cause I am sort of like a guy in that I don’t pack in advance) and ask what I should bring in the way of clothes and food etc. He says not to worry about food, unless I wanted to pick up a bag of Nachos, a bag of Doritos, and a jug of salsa. This is no problem in my mind. I don’t mind picking that up, but I ask “OK, but what are we going to EAT?!”

He says something about picking up hamburgers and hotdogs. I say OK, and hang up. But then it occurs to me that I don’t really eat hamburgers and hotdogs, and especially not three times a day for three days. So I call him back. I offer to make a lasagna. It’s a cheap way to feed 7 people (6 of which are growing men), and Mama Dukes would be making one for Robbie to take fishing as well. We are good to our men. I also mention that some other types of food might be nice…

In any case, the weekend went something like this: drinking, shooting things, playing sports, driving ATVs, playing cards, sleeping, playing sports, shooting things, drinking, sleeping, drinking, shooting things…etc. You get the point.

It was totally testosterone induced fun. Every conversation consisted of someone else “busting balls” (in feminine terms “talking trash?” about one of the people in the room, and everyone laughing hysterically until someone could think of a way to turn the mockery toward someone else. I was included in this “fun” by the way, but I think I handled it well, considering I’m usually take things very personally, joking or not. My reasoning – because every joke stems from the truth, or at least a partial truth. So I got made fun of basically for not being very fun, which is totally true most of the time. And not being able to make jokes. This one was maybe even a little bit funny to me by the end of the weekend, because I know I often make jokes that people don’t get. Not because it’s over their heads or some other witty reason…just cause I’m terrible at it, and I don’t smile. That last part --- the not smiling bit…that was new to me. I didn’t realize I don’t smile until it was pointed out to me every time. Then I realized that they were right, and that’s why I suck. So I laughed.

There was some trash-talk about people’s hobbies, or jobs, or the way they talk, their background, even the way they cook bacon. The last one is a good story, and there may have been a bit of backlash because boys will be boys and they are touchy about their ability to cook meat. There was definitely storming out of the cottage and shooting things over this mockery. I laughed too, so I’m just as guilty. One of the guys couldn’t even speak without his comment being followed by a brief silence, then someone saying “Oh comic relief…Bah hahahahahaa!!” Every time too. I would have cried to be honest. But he laughed with everyone, and eventually started just tacking it onto his sentence, to save the guys the breath I guess. We all still laughed.

I can tell you though, that I wasn’t upset about the lack of estrogen. There’s nothing more amusing than waking up in the morning to one guy running into someone else’s room, yanking down their pants and screaming “Ass in your face!! Ass in your face!!” Or hearing about (and even seeing in some cases) every single bowl movement of the weekend.

I fit much better into conversations about how stupid women can be, and how many seconds you can hold a belch. I was happy not to put on make-up or real-people clothes for three days. I didn’t mind getting dirty, lying on the ground, walking through the marshes, and shooting at pop cans all day. I should have sooo been born with a penis!! Except for the part where they don’t make sure the poop goes down, and the serious lack of hand washing. That part I could do without!

In my next incarnation though, I think I should definitely have male anatomy. And I better be well-endowed too, to make up for all this time I’ve lost (and having to deal with boobs and a period for all these years). I hope my lack of humor doesn’t kill any chance I might have of getting an invitation to the next weekend away. Maybe I’ll touch up on the inappropriate-but-generally-hilarious mockery so that next time, I can fit in a little better :)

2007-05-15T08:32:00.000-07:00

I found these questions on another blog I read (Hi Brianne!) and thought it might be fun to answer them, just for fun. Also because I'm a sucky blogger and cant think of anything interesting to say in the mean time. She also gave people the opportunity to ask her any questions via email, and she would answer them as honestly as possible (on her blog? annonymously?). So since I'm playing copy-cat, I'll allow you to do the same. I wont post my email here though, but if you want it then just leave a little note/comment. Or you can ask your questions in the comments, if you're not shy :)

So here goes nothing...

1) If you had to get married today to someone you actually know, and only 4 people could attend...who would you choose to marry and who would you invite?

If I had to get married today, I would marry my current boyfriend (Gemini). I know, it's only been a few months, and I might be condeming myself to a miserable marriage, but I don't think so. The funny thing about Gemini is that he's very similar to me, but in the good way that makes it comforatable to do anything together (or nothing for that matter). We often get together intending to do something, and end up sitting around chatting all night about practically nothing. We have the same family values, similar future plans, similar religious views, similar taste in music, and the list goes on. We aren't the same person by any means, but we are very similar, and I think that would help us to get along through a marriage. Even if we were to "fall out of love" I think we could tolerate eachother for the long term.

I hate the invitation part of this question. I think if I had 4 people to invite, it would depend on if Gemini got to invite people too. If he did, then I would invite my immediate family (Mom, Robbie, and both sisters). If he didn't, then I'd invite mama dukes and Jen, and his mom and dad. Because I think it would be most important for them, and the rest of the family would get a thick stack of pictures :)

2) What are the lyrics to your favorite song? Does the song have special meaning to you?

The song is Miss World - Hole.
The reason - When I was younger, I was an emotional teen. I dont think I wanted to be happy, so I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself, and making myself (and everyone around me) miserable. The funny thing was, that I was aware of this fact, and I didnd't care. I don't know if it was a life stage or something, or maybe a hormonal imbalance, but I wasn't cool. Not like I am now at least ;) In that stage of my life I found refuge in music (as I still do sometimes). I basically fell in love with Courtney Love (the singer for Hole) because she was "wrong" and she didn't really care what people thought about her. It was a rebellious thing I guess. The lyrics to her songs were often meaningful in some sick sort of way, and the first time I heard this song, I had just had a conversation with my grandma (I think the previous day, but it stuck with me). I asked her something, and her response to me was "I made my bed, and now I'll lie in it". Then I heard this, and it all sort of made sense. It's EMO I know, but it remains one of my favorites to this day, because I can look back on it, and smile, and know that I moved through that time in my life where all I wanted to do was be miserable, and make others feel the same. Now, I try my hardest to make people happy, and keep the peace. On a bad day though, the lyrics to this song still make me feel better.

I am the girl you know, cant look you in the eye
I am the girl you know, so sick I cannot try
And I am the one you want, cant look you in the eye
I am the girl, you know I lie, I lie and lie
Im miss world, somebody kill me
Kill me pills
No one cares, my friends
My friend
Im miss world, watch me break and watch me burn
No one is listening, my friend
Now Ive made my bed, Ill lie in it
Ive made my bed, Ill die in it
Ive made my bed, Ill lie in it
Ive made my bed, Ill die in it

Cute girls watch when I eat ether
Suck me under
Maybe forever, my friend
Now Ive made my bed, Ill lie in it
Ive made my bed, Ill die in it
Ive made my bed, Ill cry in it
Ive made my bed, Ill lie in it
I am the girl you know, cant look you in the eye

3) Who are your top 5 famous guy crushes?

This is a tough call (because I don't know 5 famous people's names). Since I've started dating Gemini, and his family is totally "into" celebrity gossip, I have picked up a 'People' magazine or two, and learned the names of several celebrities, however, I think I would have to see them to know them. But I'll try for the sake of trying.
5--I like Bruce Willis, cause he's cute for an old guy
4--I like the guy from the OC with dark hair, cause he's nerdy and whitty. But way too skinny
3--I like Keanu Reeves not for his looks but for his personality in movies like the Lakehouse, Sweet November, and the Matrix. He's sweet and charming and yet has these masculine qualities still.
2--Um, this is hard. I like the guy who plays House on the tv show House (Hugh Laurie or something), again not for looks, but for personality, because he's amusing, and antisocial and smart. But in real life, I wouldn't be looking for that personality. It's just a pretend thing ok?
1--I can't think of another one. I don't like actors really. Maybe based purely on looks, I might have said Josh Hartnett, but he's seeming far less appealing to me latley maybe because he's gotten far too skinny, but I don't really know.

4) Can you name one moment after which you were never the same? Tell me about it.

I was never the same after I had a conversation with my mom. I was sitting on the floor at the end of my bed, and my mom sat on my bed. It was on that day that I realized that I was ashamed of who I had become, and I made a vow to myself that I would be different from that day forward. I grew much much closer with mama dukes after that, and I don't remember a day since then that I have been absolutly downright miserable. I don't know if I could have done the things I've done to date without having had that conversation. It meant the world to me, and changed me for the better, permenantly.

5) If you could have one super power, what would it be and why would you want it?

I would have the ability to be invisable. I've discussed this in a prevous blog, so I wont expand here...but seriously how cool would this be?
I want that....!!

My poor nose

2007-05-15T06:12:00.000-07:00

How can one close-to-perfect human being produce soo much snot in one day?

Wholy crap. I always forget what it feels like to have a head cold. I empathize from now on...

In the mean time, I'm sleeping lots, and taking double doses of my vitamins :)

I'm on my way to better already, and looking forward to the long weekend to relax.

In the mean time, I need new blog topics. I suck at writing these days :(

Just NOT right...

2007-05-08T14:47:00.000-07:00

Baseball season has started! yay!!

So we had our first game on Sunday. It was a beautiful thing. Our team (Robbies softball team to secret readers who are new) is pretty good this year it seems. Everyone was hitting consistently, and staying with plays without trying to be super-heros all the time. All the babies (well not-so-much anymore) are back, and then some!

The majority of our team has remained the same (making me happy) and all of the new guys on the team seem like they'll fit in well. In other words, we haven't got in trouble for heckling them yet, though I'm sure once they work up the balls...

And speaking of balls (since mama dukes was to chicken to post about it)...

One of the new guys on our team (Thumper, if you are reading this...I apologize for calling your attention to it, but something has to be done!!) either

a) has a gigantic 'package' (if you know what I mean, as I'm sure you do...) and likes to make it look even more huge by covering it with an extra-large-I'm-definitly-THE-MAN-sized cup...or

b) has a tiny weenie, and likes to make it look huge by covering it with an (see above...)

BUT, not only does he do this...he also wears the cup to one side (ie it covers one of his thighs and he's a big guy!) and down his leg a distance. I somehow doubt the thing is covering any of the family jewels, mutton dagger, old blind bob, hanging johny, fishing rod, tallywhacker, pocket rocket, one-eyed trouser trout, ding dong, ankle spanker, pork sword, engine cranker, hairy hotdog, davey crocket, wang, wazoo, weeny, whacker, pecker, pee-pee, kidney cracker, heat seeking moisture missle, giggle stick, love whistle, tube steak, uncle dick, purple helmet warrior...or any other pet names for PENIS that you can think of....(oh wow, I'm feeling a little raunchy right now)

IT'S JUST WRONG!!!

I can't go all season trying to hold back laughter every time he walks by, or I happen to glance to the wrong part of the field. Cause you know, I *would* be able to see it all the way from the 300 meter line. I guarentee it.

Someone's gotta slip him a note or something....geeze....

A Penny for Your Thoughts

2007-05-03T06:57:00.000-07:00

When I was younger (5 or 6) my mom took us to the park to fly kites. It was a beautiful sunny day and a perfect day to spend in the park. So we are playing around and doing kartwheels and such when I put my hand on the ground, and find something hard. I wonder what it is. I look for it in the grass untild I finally find what it is that my hand grazed.

"Mommy I found a LOONIE!!!"

I was soo excited, that I still remember it to this day (and we all know how good my memory is...blah). Why was I soo excited to find a loonie? These days a loonie wont even get you a coffee, but back then...a loonie could get you 100 PENNY CANDIES!!!

Penny candies were the best. It was all about quantity. For a loonie you could make yourself sick with sugar. Mini fuzzy peaches, and gummie worms and those little caramels you sometimes see at Halloween. When I was 5, these candies cost exactly one cent. You never threw out pennies back then because you could actually buy something with them.
So I begged mom to take us to the corner store, and that she did. At which point the store owner gives me a little paper bag, and I carefully count out exactly 100 candies to fill it with. I'm sure thinking back on it now (and being older then a kindergarden kid) that my mom probably had to pay the 15 cents tax or whatever, but I didn't notice. I was soo happy to be getting 100 candies that you could have told me my foot fell off, and I wouldn't have noticed.

Anyways, I thought about this last night while talking to Gemini. He'd never heard of penny candies. It also took me a while to explain what a dicky-dee was. Gosh I'm getting old...

Down Under

2007-04-26T12:31:00.000-07:00

So I'm going to Australia.
For real.
I booked the hotel and everything.
I'm scared, and nervous and excited all at the same time.
This is probably the only time I'll ever get to make this trip so I'm all in. I am spending my own (non-existant) money to stay for a couple of extra days, because who wants to pay $3,000 to fly there and not get to have any fun?
It's going to be fantastic.

I have goals.
I want to see the great barrier reaf.
Even more, I want to walk through the rainforest.
I might even attempt to get to the wildlife dome so I can see a dingo. haha

Oh boy! be excited with me. I'm almost 24 anad I'm on my way to travelling the world. Just like I've always wanted (well not *just like*, I would prefer to be with family and friends, but we can't be picky when the plane is paid for...)

Speaking of plane. The flight is Loooong. Like 26 hours or something. I might die. I can't stay in one place that long. I'll have to find a few good books to read. And an extra few to read down there when my supervisor and the other masters student are going bungee jumping and white water rafting like a bunch of freaks. Who pays a ton of money to feel like they are about to die? Please...who does that? During that time, I plan to relax on the beach (about a 10 minute walk from my hotel) and walk through the city, and check out the history.

I'm pumped. The End.

It's going to be amazing :)

My Baby Gots Attitude :)

2007-04-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

My dog is adorable. She has been since they day we went and chose her. We were supposed to be looking at puppies. We weren't going to bring one home that day because we weren't really ready to add another dog to the family. But we were considering it, and we set up an appointment to drive up North and go check out the new litter of pups. And they were adorable, BUT this cute little mop dog comes running in the room and jumping up at my leg and being super-adorable. She loved me and I loved her. I couldn't leave her there. She had to come home with me.

So we did the paper work and took her.
She's still just as adorable, and makes me smile daily. But, she's picked up this attitude in the last year or so...she growls and barks if you don't pay attention to her. I'm working at home today cause we had a flood in our building at school and she's sitting right next to me right now. If I move 4 inches so that she doesn't feel my body heat, I swear she'll open her eyes and look at me and think "Mom! rub my belly!! where are you going?!"

She's really learned how to use her voice. I'm sure she'll have lots to say when I take her to the groomers this afternoon too. Silly pup.

Here's some pictures to make you smile too...I told you she's cute :)

Happy Birthday Sister!!

2007-04-17T18:11:00.001-07:00

Jen's ancient.

Just thought I'd mention that :)

Haha, just kidding.

Love you sis.

Happy 25th :)

Happy Birthday Little Angel

2007-04-16T18:28:00.000-07:00

Remember my little baby Einstein?
How I said she was adorable and the most perfect baby I've ever encountered?
I was serious.
And she had her first birthday party on Saturday.
It was soo cute, and so is she.
I sent mom pictures that I assumed she'd blog, but she hasn't, so I figured I would instead.
Because the whole world should see how cute this baby is.

So....drumroll please....

MMMMmmmm....great cake :)

Happy birthday my baby Einstein ;)

G'day Mate

2007-04-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

My supervisor submitted my research information to a conference (The World Sleep Conference!) in Australia in September. I don't find out until May if I actually get to go (because it's competitive in terms of what research gets presented), but I'm nervous just the same.

Check out the website:
http://www.worldsleep07.com/Discover_Cairns.htm

It's absolutly beautiful there.

I would be attending the 5 day conference (plus an extension of holiday time if I can budget it) and presenting my work to sleep researchers from all over the world. There would also be time set aside for me to attend workshops and mingle with other people (ie. try to build a name for myself through networking). It's sooo scary.

But my supervisor thinks I can do it (and I should do it). That's why he's potentially forking over a *HUGE* sum of money for me to go (assuming I get accepted).

Ahh...I didn't think this research thing would ever feel this real...

As Requested

2007-04-15T17:32:00.000-07:00

Again, I have had a blog topic requested of me (LOVE when this happens...). But this was a tough one cause I had to do a lot of reading in order to answer. I didn't have an oppinion on this one (even being the most oppinionated person on the planet...)

So, I did the necessary reading (well enough to make me satisfied that I was making a good choice). The question was if I had to be a mythical creature, which would I choose, and which would I want my mate to choose. It was a hard one, like I said, but here's what I came up with.

I would want to be a fairie. From what I understood about fairies, it seems that they are good inside, but often misunderstood. From wikipedia (because I didn't have time to do real research, with the school project etc) I found this explaination, which I liked, and it help me make up my mind. Referring to fairies...

A third belief held that they were a class of "demoted" angels. One popular story held that when the angels revolted, God ordered the gates shut; those still in heaven remained angels, those in hell became devils, and those caught in between became fairies

I thought about it, and thought it fit my personality pretty well. And they are pretty (not that pretty should define my response, but whatever)

If I had to choose a mate that came out of mythology, I think I would probably pick a dragon. Yes, a dragon. It's wierd, But I think it would be exactly the fit for me. I would teach my mate that eating people etc is bad news, and in the meantime...They are associated with wisdom—often said to be wiser than humans—and longevity. They are commonly said to possess some form of magic or other supernormal power, and are often associated with wells, rain, and rivers. In some cultures, they are said to be capable of human speech. They are also said to be able to talk to all animals.

All of these things appeal to me at least to some degree. Of course I dont have that kind of memory (but wish I did), and totally forgot that my 19. So that's my thoughts on that topic. Alot of reading for such a small post, but just wanted to get that off my chest.

Quotes

2007-04-12T07:29:00.000-07:00

So I haven't felt like writing lately, because I can't think of topics and nobody is offering their ideas. Blah. Anyways, Gemini suggested I tell the story of Easter at my house. I wont go into detail because you've heard it all before. Ham, scallops, good company, mini chocolate eggs that are delicious etc etc.

But the classic part of the night was after dinner when we were playing this game. I'm not sure what it was called, but the basic idea was like the TV show Family Fued (sp?). Basically you get asked a question and then try to come up with the ten answers printed on the card. But the trick to this game is that the answers are not all the most popular answers.

OK, so we are playing and questions are coming up like "Movies that Bruce Willis has acted in?" of which there are like a gazillion, and we couldn't come up with the ones the game was looking for, but it was funny trying. And then I read out the next question

"Things that are yellow...?"

And Jenny starts by saying "Bannanas!!"
- and it's on the card, good job.

Then Brianne chimes in with "The sun!!"
- and it's on the card too, good job.

Then Robbie (being hilarious as usual) adds....wait for it....
"People with hepititis!!"
- and it's ON THE CARD!!!
Ah hahahahahaha!
I laughed soo hard I couldn't breathe, and then I laughed for about 3 full minutes before I could get that line out when re-telling the story to Gemini. He thought I was a freak because he didn't know what was funny, and I couldn't tell him because I was laughing to hard. So he just laughed at me laughing. And dby the time I could spit it out, I don't think he thought it was that funny, but whatever. I'm laughing a little still while writing this :)

So that brings me to another funny quote....
Gemini's driving me home one night earlier this week, and I suddenly remember that I almost hit a bunny on the way to his house the other night. It just ran out in front of me. I got scared and pulled over for a couple of breaths to relax. Anyways, I'm telling him about this, and I guess I triggered a memory for him as well.
He says something like:

"This one time I was driving and this thing ran right out in front of my car...and it was HUGE!!...no, fully....it was like YOU running across the road!!....!!!"

and so I start to giggle, naturally, because the way he phrased it made it sound like he was calling me huge...and I knew he'd catch himself in a second.

Then he stops, and looks at me with puppy-dog eyes and says "that sounded bad didn't it...?"

"you know I didn't mean it like that right?"

And I laughed more...

So that's all for quotes today...someone think of something interesting for me to write about ***PLEASE*** otherwise I might have to blog about the book I'm reading. It's called the God Delusion, and it's basically a science vs. religion book.
I'm trying hard not to comment on it though, cause I'm not done it yet, and some of the oppinions in it are pretty harsh. The author is proud to be atheist, let's just put it that way.
Don't make me comment on religion
please
topics
please
help me out
My creativity is dead

Animal Conciousness

2007-04-09T05:42:00.000-07:00

This blog is thanks to my friend Aron, who requested that I comment on the conciousness of our pets. For example, if your cat would think about how fun it would be to attack a mouse. So here's my thoughts on the subject.

Firstly, I think that animals have concious thought. I don't think they are limited to instinct as some would predict. I also don't think they have the equivalent thoughts that a human might. I don't think they experience things the same way we do, and I don't think that they necessarily have the ability to think as deeply as we might. I'll cover the limitations first.

Animals don't have formal language like we have. They make animal sounds to communicate, but their ability to express themselves is limited to barking or whining or mewing or whatever. Most mammals have paired that with body movements etc. to further express themselves, but it still acts as a limitation because they don't have an oxford dictionary worth of words to use (both spoken, or in their thoughts). So in that sense, I wouldn't put them on the same level of conciousness as humans for example.

But if you think about your pet, or a higher-order mammal (for example, a chimanzee or gorilla), you will notice that they do appear to have thoughts, and desires that are more complex than just "I need to kill and eat to survive" and what not. They play with toys for fun, and they seem to miss you when you leave, or welcome you when you get home. These aren't things (in my oppinion) that they need for survival, so why would they aquire these habbits (if this is the right word for it?). Because they think and feel in a similar way to what we do.

I think pets in particular begin to understand human language over time as well. I'm drawing from experience, in that my dog understands some commands, and English words such as "bath" or "timbits" or "walk". It's simple association, but they understand it. So even though they can't speak the words, I imagine they can think about the sounds of those words and associate them with a feeling of "wanting" or "desiring" those things.

So, my short answer is yes. I think your pets can think. I also believe that other animals in the wild can think. Beyond natural selection type things, like grooming or protecting, animals still play and behave in other ways that presumably have no other survival reasons. If this behavior weren't attached to some sort of concious thought, then I don't know why they would do it.

Thanks again to Aron for the topic. If anyone else wants to pick my brain, please feel free.

X-woman

2007-04-04T14:09:00.000-07:00

I had a dream that I had a super power. I could blow things up using my mind. I went around blowing out windows and stuff while flying around this random building. I almost never have dreams like this, but I was napping. And napping is essentially "extra" sleep, so my body uses the time to have dream sleep. And my napping dreams are always bizzare.

So I'm sitting here thinking about blogging topics, because my blogs are boring lately. All I do is work, and go to the gym, and hang out with the family, or Gemini. And not to say that any of those things are boring to me, but they make for realatively repetitive blogs. For example, work is demanding, the gym is tough but good for me, my family is amazing, and Gemini is perfect. So now that we've caught up...I need blogging topics!! I have oppinions about *everything*, but I just can't come up with topics...so help me out PLEASE (begging like a little kid).

But my point was, I was thinking about blogging, and about what super-power I would choose if I had only one. I decided that although it would be cool to blow things up with my mind, I probably never would, so it would be a wasted power. Instead, I would like to be a mind reader. Like you know the guy in X-men that reads minds all crazy-like? That's what I would be like. And so nobody could lie to me, cause I'd know.

Wouldn't that be super-awsome? Except maybe for when you're with a guy who suddenly thinks "wow, her ass looks fat in those pants!" or something. That part would suck. But I imagine I'd get used to it. The truth is always easier than lies.

Oh, and it would allow me to read the minds of commuters since I already pretend to do that anyways. I wonder how many people would mind that I make up lives for them. And my supervisor at school...that would be fun.

So yeah, a mindreader...that's what I'd be.

The End

Baby Einstein?

2007-04-01T09:50:00.000-07:00

I am not maternal. I decided at a relatively young age (around the time I started babysitting) that I wasn't going to have kids. I get frustrated easily with them. It's like being in a country where you can't speak the language, and people start yelling at you and waving their hands, but you don't know what they are trying to tell you. Babies and young children want something and they start screaming and crying, and you check their diper and try feeding them and oogling at them, and giving them every possible combination of things a youngster might possibly desire. But nothing works. All the kid wanted was to get down off your lap, and yet the crying and screaming causes you to want to hold onto them tighter, and hug them, and you can never figure out what's wrong.

And then something happens. Classical conditioning. This happens with animals too, and "lower forms of life". It's easy. If you do something, and eventually get what you want, you learn quickley to repeat that behavior when necessary to produce the same result. So, when babies are young, they learn that crying and screaming gets them more breast milk, or formula, or bum changes, or attention. They hold onto this behavior when they get older to get you to give them more baby food, or let them down, or whatever. Then as they hit toddler age, even though they have words, and can speak, their previous behavir patterns hold. They cry and scream to get more candy, or a new toy, or get their room painted. And this turns into hissy fits as pre-teens to get more money for the mall, or pizza lunch at school...you get my point. Kids suck because they form bad habbits before they can talk.

BUT, last night mama dukes has a birthday thing for one of her friends. They bring their little girl, who is 11 months old. She can't talk much yet. Just the cute little words like dada. So she's at screaming child age, and I quickley notice that she doesn't scream. Why you ask? Because this little girl has the smartest parents I've encountered. They taught her sign language before she could talk. So, when we're eating, and she wants more green beans, she makes the sign for "more". And when she wants down off someones lap, she signs "down" and when she gets sleepy and wants a bottle, she signs "bottle". Amazing.

She didn't scream. She didn't cry. She was the absolute cutest little thing ever. I played with her, and read her stories, and stayed in the same room with a dipered child for longer then 10 minutes. I was pround of myself, and impressed with her. I *almost* considered having children one day, because now I know about this way of breaking the bad habbit that every kid forms. It's miraculous really. Why didn't anyone else think of it?

And then she did the cutest thing ever. Dad is asking her "what sound does a kitty make" and she makes a sound resembling "mew". Then what sound does a ____ make? And on and on. The monkey was super-cute "ooo ooo", but then he asks her, "what sound does an elephant make?" And I'm puzzled. I'm almost 24, and I've been in university fofr 5 years, and I'm thinking "wait a second...what sound does an elephant make??!!" And then their little bundle of joy puts her lips together and blows and lifts her little arm up by her face to make the trunk. Oh my GOD!! it was soo cute!!

So, if someone asks if I'm having kids, I might be tempted to say "I dunno, we'll see" instead of "hell no...!". Mama dukes can thank them if she gets grandbabies out of me.

Everything is Going to be Alright

2007-03-30T06:51:00.000-07:00

I had a bad day yesterday. It started in the morning with a call from my supervisor at school. He was asking about my progress on a computer analysis program I have been writing. I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to vent my school frustrations here (is this equivalent to the Duce thing?), but I will briefly for now, and delete the post if necessary. So some of the people in my lab are a little bit less productive than myself. And that’s the nice way to put it. When it came time to do this analysis program, it was supposed to be a joint effort between four of us. But after a week or so of collaboration, we met to check out what the others had done. My supervisor had come up with some stuff, and the other two had absolutely nothing. I however, had made relatively good progress. It was at this point (two weeks ago) when I was told that since I was making the best progress, that I was being left on my own to finish the program. A good reward right?

Anyways, so I get this phone call in the morning and it throws me off guard a little bit. I wasn’t planning on working on the program yesterday. I was doing some course work because I have a seminar on Monday to present, and several papers due in a week or two. The other student in my lab has had plenty of time to work on her course work, and her research stuff is put on hold (again), so I figure it’s only fair that I can take a few days to get caught up. But it turns out, I have to use all of my free time to do that work, because the other 12 hours in the day has to be committed to research.

OK, so this sounds a lot like complaining, and it is in a sense, but I do love what I am doing in the lab, I just feel overwhelmed sometimes, and overworked. I spend more hours in the lab than the 6 others combined, and I don’t think that’s even an exaggeration. The weight of the publishing stress has been put on me this year, and I’m starting to feel it as the winter ends, and summer approaches.

My supervisor decides that he’s coming in at “lunch time” to sit down with me and catch up on my progress, and I agree. He showed up at 2 PM. Now granted somewhere in the world that is lunchtime, I’m pretty sure that he knew I would assume noon, or maybe 1 pm if he was pushing it. But this again, isn’t unusual. So I figure we have an hour and a half to work before I have to run to a seminar on preparing to publish (that I am attending on my own time, making for another late night at school). But he doesn’t sit down with me. Instead he makes his usual move to the other room to check on the other students, and help them (ie. Do for them) their research. He comes back into my lab room at 3:15, and sais “I have to step out for a few minutes, but I’ll be back by 3:30”, and I say “well I’ll see you tomorrow then, because I have that seminar in a few minutes”. Again, nothing accomplished.

Then I had the only good part of my day. I sat on a bench in a little nook on campus and let the sun shine on my face. The weather was beautiful, and I sat and watched a plane fly from one side of the sky to the other, and then it was time to go to the seminar. This was a waste of two hours of my life. It was more geared towards social science publishing (ie. Publishing a book, where I’ll be publishing in journals). Then I make the commute.

It’s pool night, which starts off OK. But then when it’s my turn to play, I get to play the grumpiest old man in the league. He’s good, and I’m not really good. He doesn’t talk, or even look at you when you are playing him. A good strategy because it’s the most intimidating thing ever. After the first 5 minutes of the game I hadn’t sunk one ball, and I was about ready to cry from frustration. I held back tears for the remaining 55 minutes of the game. The man seriously kicked my ass, and I felt like a complete moron for paying money to have the least fun I could have in one night. But I suppose I learned a good lesson…sometimes people are miserable, and it’s not worth letting them get to you. Let’s see if I can remember that the next time.

So overall, I am choosing to forget that yesterday happened. I’m looking forward to a good (great even?) Friday. I have the weekend off for a change, so I’ll have more time to do school work (funny how that works isn’t it?). Urgh…

If anyone is offering a tight hug today…I could use it

Coincidences

2007-03-29T06:22:00.000-07:00

I've been noticing a lot of things that happen to coincide latley. I'll be thinking about something and someone will mention that very same thing within minutes. Or I'll be listening to a song at the very same moment as someone else (me on my MP3 and someone else on the radio or in their car or whatever). Or I'll write about something random, or think a phrase in my head, and someone else will say the same thing. It's weird.

I started noticing this happening a couple of weeks ago when I thought about a movie I hadn't watched in years, and I went home and the girls were watching it on TV. And then within days I was talking about this musician with Gemini's family, and my mom mentioned that she was missing his CD for months the very same day.

It hasn't stopped since then. I want to know what's going on. I feel like someone is watching my life and telling other people about what is happening when they aren't around. Like the movie The Truman Show. That's what it feels like. Like people know things they shouldn't.

I'm soo paranoid eh?

Speaking of which...I thought about the weather machine that was installed underground in Waterloo this morning. I was walking to work, and soaking up the sunshine, and thinking about how the government must have done the same thing in Toronto. They attracted people to this area with the weather, and built a city. Haha. I just shouldn't think. Cause if someone really is getting inside my head, I'm going to have men in black suits pulling me into a dark SUV at any moment to take me to the luney bin. I think the padded walls might be fun for a day or two, but not forever...

Save me from myself ;)

I think I've been spending too much time with my rats

Why am I so Excitable?

2007-03-28T08:08:00.000-07:00

So, I'm nerdy or geeky or a brainer, or whatever the "cool" kids choose to call it these days. I like science, and learning, and I plan to stay in (or close to) school for probably the rest of my life. This is weird, I know, BUT I'm not the only one, it turns out.

I was hanging out with Gemini yesterday (what a gorgeous day by the way!! wow), and we went for a walk, and chatted. It was really nice. We decided to go for walks once a week, but I digress. So, he gets a phonecall on the way back from our walk. It's his "cousin" (who isn't actually his blood relative, but a very very good family friend). We'll name her "Physics Girl" for the sake of a screen name. She asks him if he wants to go out for a drink or something, cause she's had a bad day. He agrees of course because he's a people pleaser, and who wouldn't want to help a friend out in a time of need.

So she stops by his house, and we head to a local pub for a drink. Now, I have met physics girl before, but only ever under circumstances where we were going out as a group, and there was never really any chance to talk one-on-one. But last night there was. And I find out she's a nerd just like me (well not JUST like me, but close). She studies physics in university, which is brave in my oppinion. You really have to be a special kind of person.

So we get to chatting about school, and Gemini is laughing the whole time about how geeky we are. He tells Physics Girl about an assignment he had due the day before. He had called me and complained about it because he couldn't find information. I did a quick search and sent him some websites. So he's telling her this, and I'm feeling embarrased, because I really like doing homework, and his was interesting. And then I get the most classic science-nerd response ever. Physics girl sais "Oh my God! I totally know what you mean! I always talk about doing physics quizzes for the first years when they get up from a computer for a minute, and then running away. Other people's work is always more fun!"

I laughed and thought
a) I am glad I met this girl
b) at least I'm not alone in the world

NSERC

2007-03-26T12:17:00.000-07:00

Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council of Canada

They are basically the people who decide who gets the governments money to do research in Canada. Or in other words, who doesn't have to accumulate a ridiculous amount of debt doing graduate studies on top of the debt they racked up in their undergraduate years.

So, I found out on Friday that they think my research is worth doing, and my grades say that I'm a good enough person to do it, and they have faith in me. So they are giving me some free money so that I can focus on my research and cure something, or do something meaningful. Basically, they are counting on me to do something great with the money they give me so that I can apply to get more money next year.

What it also means is that when I go to apply to transfer directly to the PhD prgram (without actually finishing my masters), they would be foolish to say no, because I'm one of the fantastic students that NSERC picked to throw money at. And shouldn't we give her the chance to do something else fantastic with her money?

So I'm happy, and a little less worried about paying for school next year. But it's still going to be as tight as it is this year, so no pedicures or anything, but I hopefully wont have to take on more than one part time job while trying to finish school. This is great news. I'm proud. My supervisor is proud. I deserve it.

The End :)

Trust The Man

2007-03-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

Just in case anyone was going to watch that movie, I'd like to say that you might regret wasting 2 hours of your life. It's pretty much an all-star cast and so you'd think it would be a great movie, but it wasn't really. I can't even think of how to describe it. It doesn't fit any genre. Maybe romance but not really. It's a grim view of love I think overall. But maybe a more realistic one than normal love movies.

Basically there are these couples and they are "in love" and then they go through problems with staying faithful to their partners etc. And if nothing else, it makes you feel like that might be all there is. Well, that might be a pessimistic view from me, but it's like the movie is out there to tell you that all people make this fidelity mistake. Like, everyone cheats on their significant other, but if you love eachother than it's OK. And you can live happily ever after.

My problem is the title of the movie really. What do they mean by "trust the man"? Is it supposed to be a religous thing? Like trust God to handle love, because even though there is this human thing where people act on animal instincts to procreate with more than one person, God can figure it out and get you back together. But there is this other connotation in the title that's sort of demeaning to women I think. Because even if it was meant in a religous sense, it also has this undertone that implies that women should accept this kind of behavior. That if the guy is worth it, then you should trust him enough to stray from the relationship and return to it eventually (when he's ready) to love you for real this time.

I dunno, maybe I'm over-thinking it, but I just wanted to put that out there. I'm done complaining for the day. I don't know if I could have picked a better title. Maybe "Love sucks, but we deal with it". That would at least attract the right kind of viewing audience.

OK, I'm done, for real this time :)

Megadeth

2007-03-24T07:26:00.000-07:00

The band that picked the wrong name cause people would probably like them a whole lot more if they didn't sound so scary. Like if you listen to their music, they will jusmp through the radio and kill your kitten or something. But whatever, I'm not intimidated by it. I don't really like kittens that much anyways...

So I went to see a concert. It opened with a band called Dope, that was a new-ish heavy metal band I had only heard once or twice before. They attract a younger croud. The kids with black hoodies and chains you know? The ones with a peircing through the skin on their sternum, and you can't figure out why anyone would want to do that. Yup those kinds of kids. But they were pretty good. The music that is.

Then Megadeth played. They were amazing. They only played for a little less than an hour, but it was high energy the whole time, and tricks or gimmicks. The band is just awsome. But, like always, they are an 80's hair metal band, so there were lots of next-generation rockers smoking the marjuana and making me laugh. Very entertaining overall.

Then it was time for Black Sabbath. The people continued to amuse me, but the music started getting a littl boring to be honest (sorry Sabbath fans). The first couple of songs were really good, and then you realize that the vocalist can't really change is voice. He can do thi one wicked-awsome screaming yeah-yeah! kind of voice, but not much else. Combine this with two lead guitars but No basist, and a drummer, and you have a bunch of songs that essentially sound the same...but it was good, just not AS good. Sabbath should have opened for Magadeth (*dodging bullets from hard-core Sabbath fans as we speak*)

One thing Black Sabbath di ave going for them though was the background entertainment. The amused me with a church-cathedral type background (for the Heaven and Hell tour) with great big creepy angel statues and optical stained glass windows etc. It was very cool.

I got groped by some old biker men every time I wasn't standing within 4 1/2 inches of Gemini, and if he walked away for even a second I would get comments like "nice tits!" from someone old enough to be my grandpa (Hi grandma! say hi to grandpa for me!!). This might have had to do with the 300:1 guy to girl ratio. And when i say girl I mean white-haired leather-wearing bikers wife who has listened to Sabbath since before I was born. haha

Anyways, it was a great time, and I'd like to see Megadeth again some day if they ever play a show that they are headlining. That would be amazing. And now I have a new group of friends (Gemini and his two closest guy friends) to go with. Funny how I manage to fit in with guys and yet don't stand a chance at making friends with Geminis close friends who are girls. Not a chance people...I should have been born with a penis.

Have you ever wondered?

2007-03-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

How bulimics throw up every day?

I was contemplating this yesterday as I threw up the entire contents of my stomach. I think it might have had something to do with the cranberry juice I bought from the corner store. I didn't check the expiry date. It expired in November of last year.

I felt it coming on in the morning, but ignored the feeling, and figured it would pass. By mid-morning I was getting worried, as my body was feeling worse. Then my stomach got seriously upset and I knew vomiting was inevitable. But I absolutely despise throwing up. It might actually be the worst feeling to have stomach acid passing through your throat (I cringe just thinking about it). So of course my initial reaction is fear, and then I cry like a girl.

My supervisor at work doesn't handle crying girls very well. But luckily the other master's student in my lab was helpful. She sat in the washroom with me for a bit until I felt like it might pass again. I continued sitting on the cold tile floor for an hour or two. People in my building are very nice and kept insisting that i go to the fourth floor washroom where there is a couch-type thing I could lay down on. So I attempted the trip, knowing that moving might be a bad idea. When i got upstairs, it was lunch hour and the bathroom is right next to the kitchen. So, I smelt food, and immediately knew I wasn't going to last any longer. I ran down the stairs to get away from the kitchen, threw open the bathroom door, and vomited for 3 hours.

My mama dukes loves me, so she came all the way to Toronto to pick me up. She had Jen set up a bed for me on the main floor (close to the bathroom). By this time, I had nothing left for my body to purge, and today I am fine.

But the moral of the story is...check the expiry dates on everything before you eat or drink it. It might save you some serious trauma. Oh, and don't be bulimic....

The Sandlot

2007-03-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching a movie that was a total blast from the past. In 1993 a movie came out called "The Sandlot". It was basically about some kids who got together in the summer and played baseball together. But one of the kids stole his step-dad's baseball that was signed by Babe Ruth to play with when they lost their game ball. He didn't know who Babe Ruth was. But then they were playing with it, and they hit it over the fence of som guys who is apparently the meanest man on Earth.
It's such a great movie, that I just thought I'd share. And right when I popped it into my computer and the first scene played, I smiled because I remember when Jen and I were into this movie, and we would dtake turns writing letters to the main character (played by Mike Vitar). We went to quite extensive lengths to write exactly why we had to meet him etc. But I don't recall ever sending the letter, but whatever.
I laughed about it, because it's so funny how we thought he was soo incredibly good looking. He was our perfect man for about two weeks (cause I'm sure that's about how long we spent on him before giving up, and becoing normal kids. Anyways, just thought I would share that. Good movie for a Saterday sitting at work :)

Stranger Than Fiction

2007-03-16T07:44:00.000-07:00

That's the movie I watched today.
It was good, and I would recommend it.
The basic plot is a guy who leads a mundane life, and then one day wakes up and hears a woman's voice in his head narrating his life.

So I was thinking about it, and I think it would be awsome if this actually happened. Not because I would want to hear voices, but because it would make you exceptionally aware of all of the things that you were doing right and wrong in your life because you would think about all of your actions, and you thoughts. But it would get tricky becuase you could presumably hear the voie, so you would think about it. Then the voive would have to narrate you tinking about it, and it would become very circular. The movie actually did a good job at ignoring that issue.

On another note...I'm really happy today. I have no idea why. Nothing special happened today that would make me happy. Maybe the opposite actually. Last night, I played pool and lost horribly. Maybe more horribly then ever before. So that should have made me cranky. And it's a few degrees coler than yesterday. So it's not warming up. But, it is light out when I go to and from work, which is nice.

So I'm not sure why I feel so happy. I was smiling while walking down the street. I never do that. I love when people do, but I never understood it. And I still don't to be honest, but I caught myself doing it.

It's Friday, wich is nice, but I have to work tomorrow, so for me it might as well be Monday or whatever. I might go hang out with Gemini tongiht though, so I guess that's a bonus on Friday :) Other than that, I'm just happy in general. I'm not going to complain about it. Sure beats being miserabe :P

Music

2007-03-13T05:35:00.000-07:00

I went back to exchange my MP3 player last night. I did an over the counter exchange (thank you warrenty), so now I just have to put music on the new one, and I'll be a happy camper again. Just thought I'd get that out there so noone worries about my sanity :)

Now back to work

Small Talk

2007-03-12T05:45:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't noticed, I am really affected by the weather. A grey and cold day can make me cranky (think back to the Waterloo days for a minute and cringe). But a bright and sunny day can make me equally happy. The transition months (spring and fall) are my favorite just because of the weather. It starts warmming up in spring, and cooling down in fall, and that means breaking out the hoodies, and shedding the coat. Amazing!!

So yesterday I was very excited about everything. The simplest things were making me outright giddy, and I couldn't think of why. But then on my way home from work/school I realized that the sun was shining and it was relatively warm (well above zero anyways). So that made me happy.

On a less happy note...music changes my mood just as easily. My MP3 player has become a very important part of my day. I listen to it on the train, on the subway, on my walk to work, while siting at work, on the commute home, at the gym etc. But I think it's broken. I tried putting more music on it this morning. It told me it was full. So I tried deleting some, but couldn't figure out how. So, I tried wiping it clean to re-imput all the songs I wanted, and now it wont work. So I'm cranky. It wont even recognize that it's connected to my computer. So I might have to go back to best buy and get them to fix it. Sucky.

Apocalyptica

2007-03-11T08:43:00.000-07:00

I just thought I'd share this because it makes me elated.

Gemini asked me to listen to this group that does cover songs from other bands that we both happen to like very much. So I forgot about it for a while, and then he mentioned it again, and actually let me listen to one of the songs he had on his computer. This group amazes me. They are kind of similar in musical style as the trans-siberian orchestra, but they do covers from Metallica and other rock-ish bands. And it sounds incredible.

So, I just thought I'd let the world know that this exists in case it could make you as happy as I am right now, listening to chellos and violins on a sunday morning.

Oh and...Gemini never ceases to amaze me. What a guy :)

More Memories

2007-03-08T08:59:00.000-08:00

Gemini tells a lot of stories. It’s nice because we talk about things that matter but aren’t important or serious (though those types of conversations are nice too sometimes). He has this animated way of telling stories about his friends or his past. It amazes me when people have good memories like him. It makes me feel at a bit of a disadvantage, but I have many other things going for me, and I can’t be perfect, so I’m only a little jealous (OK, I’m a lot jealous, but don’t rub it in).

So we’re chatting on the phone last night. I normally hate talking on the phone because I find it impersonal, and I normally don’t have much to say. But for some reason he knows how to keep a conversation interesting. Anyways, Gemini is talking about stories from his past, and as he talks I start remembering all of these amazing memories from when I was younger. I love it, because no matter how hard I try normally, I can never remember anything. So I decided to write them down, before I forget again.

So I’ll start with when we lived in a different city, in a townhouse complex. I was maybe 5 or 6, but I don’t know exactly. I used to sleep walk. I would get up out of bed during a dream (presumably) and I was always on a mission to find the bathroom. So one night I fall asleep on the floor in the living room, which happens to be situated in exactly the same way to the kitchen as the floor plan from my bedroom to the bathroom (or close enough). So I get up off the floor and walk to the kitchen. At this point I whip down my pants and attempt to urinate in the kitchen cupboard. I don’t remember this part (because I was asleep) but I do remember the moment when my sister Jen slaps me in the face to wake me up, and tells me to go to the bathroom upstairs. This also happened when I attempted to go to the basement to pee (even though there wasn’t a bathroom down there). But I think this time Mama Dukes woke me up in a nicer way (thanks mom!) and sent me back upstairs.

Also living in this house, I had a friend that lived down the street. Her name was Shelly. I can vaguely remember one day playing in her backyard in the fall. There were a whole bunch of leaves piled up from raking the backyard, and I can remember building a little “fort” out of the leaves (which was more like a big hole in the center of the pile. We played in it for a good part of the afternoon I think.

And I remember going to a house down the street when my mom thought she was in labor with Brianne. So I must have been 7 (way to go math skills!). She sent us to this house to be babysat because it was the middle of the night, and I don’t think it was the first time she thought she was in labor. But I remember sitting on the floor in the dark dining room with Jen and playing with our cabbage patch kids. Amazing that something so normal (like playing with dolls) would stand out. I think it’s because I might have been a little scared for mom. I didn’t understand birth, but I did understand hospital, so it might have been a bit traumatic J

And another day when I lived there, I was playing in the front yard (which was fenced in). The maintenance people came around to cut the lawn (those were the days!). We (myself, and Jen?) were playing in a little plastic pool in the front, because it was hot out, and pools are fun when you’re little. So the guy cuts the lawn, and then gets out the weed-whacker. This was in the days when they had metal blades instead of little plastic strings. So he’s trimming the edges of the grass and one of the metal things flies out and sticks right into the side of our pool. I think I cried. If I didn’t then I felt like crying. I still hate those things. I’ve never held one, and I cross the street when they are maintaining the lawns in the city.

The best of these memories I have to put out there actually made me laugh when I remembered. Gemini was talking about dressing up when he was younger, and I thought about the times at grandma’s house when Jen and the cousins and I would go into the basement to grandma’s treasure chest (well a blanket chest, but whatever). We would pull out all of her amazing dress-up clothes, which included a wedding dress, some fur coats and things, and a belly dancing outfit. We would all dress up and do little skits and dances. I vaguely remember there being pictures of this from one Easter, but I might be making that part up.

So the moral of the story is that I actually do have a memory. It just doesn’t function most of the time, and it needs a bit of stimulation to get it going. I will continue to journal however, for when I hit 30 and have early onset Alzheimer’s. As an afterthought, has everyone seen the movie “the notebook”? Amazing movie. So if you haven’t seen it, grab a box of tissues, and make it you’re SatUrday night.

Imposter

2007-03-06T05:32:00.000-08:00

I decided to do something this morning that is out of character for me. I got to the train station this morning and instead of taking my normal train I took the express train. Now my normal train leaves a bit later and makes every single stop on the way to my destination. I take this train because it's more relaxed, and I like to relax. I like to listen to music and write, and daydream. I'm not in a hurry to get into work, because all I do first thing in the morning is check blogs and facebook, and write. So really, what's the rush?

Anyways, I make a split second decision to get on the express train just for something fun to do. I like to watch people, and I often make up little stories in my head about where they came from, or where they are going. So I get on the train and I see several things I expect. For example, every person is in pinstripes and shiny shoes. In fact, not a single person was in jeans (like me!). So, I knew if people took the time to notice (which they don't), they would know I was an express train imposter. I don't have highlights, or a prauda purse, and I don't even use the accent on my name (though I could do so justifiably).

Another interesting note. Every person on the train car I was in was either sleeping, reading the business section of the paper (except one guy reading the sports section), or doing a crossword. I grin at myself by this point because I'm listening to my MP3 player (my life soundtrack), and I wouldn't have a hope in hell of filling out 2 answers in the crossword. I don't read the paper because it's boring, and depressing. And I wouldn't bother catching the extra 10 minutes of sleep (if you can even call it that).

I watched people check their watch several times during the trip (a total of 23 minutes). I counted a few times. One guy checked his watch twice in 43 seconds. I imagined that he was in a hurry to get to a surgery (because he must have been an anesthesiologist, otherwise why was he in such a rush??!!).

I don't think it's normal to feel this out of place on a train, but I manage to do lots of abnormal things. I'll never move into the city. Commuting is just *far* to entertaining.

Theme Nights Are Fun

2007-03-04T14:10:00.000-08:00

My friends and I have started doing this thing, where we decide on a theme for a Saterday night and then just run with it. We have had theme parties a few times now that are based around raising a bit of money for the Weekend to End Breast Cancer walk in the fall (for which I'm still open for donations BTW).

So last night we did "Poker Night". We decided to get together with some friendds and play a few games of poker and split the pot at the end 50-50 between winner and fundraiser. This would have been a great idea, except that we had 10 people playing one game of never-ending poker. So there was a one time imput of money, and the game lasted hours. So it could have been more fruitful, but was fun just the same.

I'm not sure what the theme will be next time, but we are totally open for ideas.

On Friday the family went bowling as a fun night out to pseudo-celebrate Mama Dukes' birthday on Monday. We all got together and bowled a few games for fun. Jen's boyfriend got high score, but I'm not sure it mattered anyways. It was just an excuse to hang out and enjoy ourselves.

Gemini came along, and got a real taste of the family. I think he fit in pretty well (as predicted). We had some good laughs over how out-going my family can be at times. He didn't run away, so I think he likes us pretty well. At least he can handle the weirdo in us. It's fun to be a little off your rocker no? Maybe he'll stick around for a while ;)

The way the cookie crumbles

2007-03-02T09:51:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in a week, because I don't have much to say these days I fee like. So I thought I'd take this opportunity to share a good memory.

I was about 5 or 6 years old. My sister Jen is a year older. We are in the basement of our house at the time, and we are litening to a record (yes...a plastic disc that spins with the needle and everything) on our yellow "Big Bird" record player. It might have been the Beach Boys, but I can't be sure. Our basement was our play area, and was filled with toys of all sorts.

It was winter, and there was a ton of snow on the ground. So we're playing and swinging from the beams in the ceiling, and singing our little hearts out. We decide at some point to play "house". So we sneak upstairs into the kitchen (though I'm sure mom knew, cause she knows everything). We grab the whole bag of chocolate chip cookies and run back downstairs (oh-so-quietly I'm sure...). We go to our plastic kitchen area and get out all of the cooking tools. There are mini pots and spatulas (PS. thanks grandma and grandpa for the kitchen set. good times)

We decide that we will make chocolate chip cookie soup. I love how this makes sense in a 5 year olds brain. Anyways, we don't want to go upstairs again to get some liquid to make our soup base, because mom might catch on that we are eating cookies before dinner, and that would lead to the end of our game. So instead we open the basement door and gather a bunch of snow. We put it into the plastic kitchen sink and wait for it to melt a little.
Then we crush up all of the cookies into the melting slush and pour it into little plastic kitchen cups. We ate the entire bag of cookies. I remember it being the best cookie soup I ever had. One day I might attempt a re-creation just to see...

I don't remember if we ever got caught for eating all of the cookies. I'm sure we probably did, but it would have been worth it. I don't remember a lot from when I was that young, but that one stuck with me. I was innocent and happy. I didn't have any real worries. And I think that's worth all the chocolate chip cookies I can handle.

Integration

2007-02-23T06:57:00.000-08:00

So, I sometimes dream about something and actually remember it in the morning. This usually happens when I haven’t slept quite enough for my body to be happy. Though I know (from studying sleep) that we actually dream more near the end of our needed sleep time. So if you’re dreaming, there is a good chance you’ve given yourself enough time to sleep, but I know that sometimes this isn’t the case. Anyways, when I dream (and it’s not lucid, which it sometimes is), I tend to integrate several parts of my day (or my life) into the dream. I don’t know if it’s a Freudian way of working things out in my brain, or what, but it makes my dreams rather strange.

So I woke up this morning, and I had to speak out loud several aspects of my dream so that I wouldn’t forget it. So I’m sitting outside (?) but under a covered walkway or something. I’m sitting with 15 other people. We are on Survivor (yes like the show…) only not. In fact if you’ve seen the movie “SAW” then you might understand more of the feeling. But we were on survivor, because we were talking about it. I tried to introduce myself and learn names because apparently the “last time I was on this show, I never learned everyone’s name”. But no one wanted to say who they were.

I did know my mom, and Kathy (from pool) and my friend Anita. They were there, but they didn’t want to be. We were sitting at a table (and me ON the table, crossed legs). We were eating fruit. It was apparently the best fruit any of us had in a long time, because we were fighting over it. I took the last of the honeydew melon. I’m pretty sure my conscious mind would never have done such a thing, especially on a game where people’s opinion of me matter (but that’s beside the point).

The funny thing is that it wasn’t really on a beach or in a setting where survivor would normally take place. We were in a covered boardwalk or something, and there was a plate under the fruit. And there was a piano. I banged on it. I don’t know if I was frustrated or playful. I know my mood was interesting because we started talking about death. We talked about what to do with our bodies when we died. I think we all somehow knew that we were going to die on this boardwalk. It was a strange feeling, but not sad really. We had just accepted it, like it was a fact of life. I felt sad for the people with children. And I remember saying to Kathy (who was sitting at the table to my right) “I don’t care what you do with my body. I will be dead, and I will forgive you”. In the background the song “Dust in the Wind” was playing.

I think my dream ended there. I think it was a combination of being at pool last night (and seeing all of the “characters” in my dream), and talking about survivor, and fruit, and dreams. Also, I listened to that song right before going to play pool. So I integrated my day into my sleep. But why?

I want opinions (so please comment). I want to know why you think we dream. Is it to sort through our thoughts or feelings from the day, and make us more mentally stable? Or is it our secret desires coming out (like Freud thought)? Do the things you dream about represent the actual physical things in true life (like the people, or the piano)? Or are the things our brains way of giving us some sort of hidden message (like dream dictionaries would suggest)?

I’m just curious on other peoples thoughts about dreaming, because I know a lot of the biological aspects of dreaming, but I still don’t have an explanation I’m happy with. Do you think your pets dream? And if so, does that mean they have an “advanced” brain form too? Or is it a universal thing that everything does for some more-primitive purpose?

Spit it out people, I want your thoughts for a change. Mine are boring…

Who Knew?

2007-02-22T11:30:00.000-08:00

You Don't Hold a Grudge

You're willing to give almost anyone a second chance, even if they've really wronged you.
Incredibly forgiving and compassionate, you understand that people sometimes change for the better.

Do You Hold a Grudge?

I can't decide if this is a good thing, or a bad thing...

But it's Saterday !!

2007-02-17T07:55:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting at my desk at school (work..?) and working on a presentation for Monday. I have my music on loud. Too loud for at work, but it's Saterday and nobody in their right mind comes into work on a Saterday (except me of course). So I'm rocking out a little in my chair while thinking about cardiovascular control (the topic of my presentation), and I look out the window to see three construction guys outside on the roof of the new building. They are all staring into my window right at me!! Embarrasing to say the least...

I just looked away and went back to work. But then I remembered something that happened a couple of months back. Me and the other grad student in my lab were here one Friday and we were playing around, not getting much work done. It was Friday so it's OK...

Anyways, we were joking around about one of the construction workers because she thought he was really cute. So she got up on the desk and stood in front of the window, that is almost as tall as she is. She was flirting with the construction guy. She kept it up for a good 5 or 10 minutes too. And then she wrote him a note, and stuck it to the window. He wasn't looking at the time, so she left it there (ALL weekend!!). So, it's very possible that they could talk about our lab because of that. And of course if they are smart enough, they could figure out what room it is and everything. It wouldn't take a genious.

So I had this mini-flashback as these three guys are looking at me like I'm an alien. They probably thought it was me...haha

Anyways, I'm sick with a head cold (but NOT toncilitis!!), so working all the time sucks. But I'm almost done my data collection. So then it's just analysis and paper-writing. I'll be doing my PhD work in no time :)

Heart Day

2007-02-15T08:08:00.000-08:00

So yesterday was Valentines day. The dreaded day that you think about for a week before it happens and wonder what exactly *are* your responcibilities on this day for the other people in your life. And at some point every year you come to the conclusion that you don't really have any, cause it's a silly holiday (is it even a holiday? I had to work...)

Anyways, Gemini wanted to do something, and as much as I think the label "Valentines Day" is a little silly, I do like to hang out with him, so I took this as just another time to hang out. He called after work and asked if I'd had dinner. I hadn't. I said I could, I didn't care. He said he booked a reservation (under the name "sugar" again, which is my nickname to him if I hadn't mentioned it before). He's gotta stop embarrasing me like that. Geeze.

He came to my house with the traditional Valentines things. Roses, a teddy bear, and chocolates. It was cute, but VERY unnecessary. I gave him the DVD I bought. I'm not sure he knew how to react, but whatever.
Anyways we went for dinner at a low-key restaurant. Just my style. I wasn't as nervous as last time we went out for dinner, so I actually ate this time. It was good. Then he asked if I wanted to go see a movie. I said I didn't care (cause really, I don't). He asked if I wanted to stay in and rent a movie instead. I said "sure", cause it's cheeper and less pressure. Anyways we went to get a movie (which took forever cause I wouldn't pick it, and he was indecisive) and went back to his house. We watched a bit of American Idol with his parents and asked if they wanted to watch the movie. They said they didn't. So we ended up watching the DVD I bought for him (so renting the other movie was a silly move). It was funny cause it was all 80's hair-band metal music videos, and interviews with the band. We had a good laugh over some of the content of the videos.

So all-in-all a good night. I have no complaints.

Hopeless Romantic (literally)

2007-02-14T09:08:00.000-08:00

So it's Valentine's day. Hope everyone is having a good one. And for those of you who are romantics at heart, I hope you got a nice mushy card and some flowers or something else equally useless.

I don't like valentine's day. Not because I'm single and feeling sorry for myself (in fact I haven't been single on Valentines day in a long time). I just think it's a dumb holiday. I think people who are in love (or lust, or crush or whatever) should show it to the person they are with every day, not just one calander day of the year. That's my whole take on things.

I was asked by a friend of mine what I did last Valentine's day with Greg. I didn't remember doing anything. In fact, I don't think we ever did anything. He might have got me a card once or something, but if he did, then I don't remember anyways. But just to satisfy my need to know, I looked up the date in my past blogs to see if I'd written something about it. I laughed a lot when I read my own post from a year-and-two-days-ago. Apparently Greg called me up in Waterloo on Valentine's day to tell me he was going to a strip club...haha. Could this be where my bitterness stems from (maybe...). I'm sure the other years we were dating were just as romantic.

So this year I'm dating Gemini, and he asks if I want to do dinner or something on Valentines day. I tell him I don't do Valentines day. He says too bad. He likes it, so I'm just going to have to deal with it. Blah. I thought any guy would take the chance at getting out of this holiday but whatever. He still likes to open doors for me too, but he's getting better about it.

Anyways, so for the last week or so I've been thinking about it. I decide that if he's taking me out to dinner (for which he wont let me pay my share I'm sure), then I should probably get him something. But I don't want to get something sappy, with hearts and the whole thing. Cause really, that's just dumb. So I contemplate for a long time. I finally decide on music of some sort. We have music in common. So I'm thinking something not-so-mainstream on DVD (like music videos etc or interviews with the band). I ask around for music stores where I might be able to purchase something along these lines. I get a few answers.

So yesterday I hop on the subway in Toronto and go downtown? (I think) and I find this one music store that seems pretty good. Not everything in it was Britney Spears or whatever. So I go in. I look around. It's ok, but I have something in mind and they don't have it. So I go to another store and another (luckily these stores were within a relatively short distance from one another). And finally I come across what I was looking for. And people...if this isn't romance, I don't know what is....

So that's what he's getting. It's a band (a good band) dvd with music videos and interviews. Exactly what I wanted. But maybe the funniest Valentines gift ever. My friend yelled at me. Told me to at least get him a card with it. I did.

On the front the card reads: Here's a little card to wish you a happy valentines day
Inside: Okay! Okay! So it's not one of those fancy-schmancy cards you put out on the dining room table for everyone to read, but its got heart and that's gotta count for something right? hello?

I laughed when I picked it up. So I had to get it.

Maybe next year if I'm with a guy he might get the point. I'm a hopeless romantic. Literally.

Happy Heart Day!!

The Club Experience

2007-02-12T16:36:00.000-08:00

So I went on the "date" to the club in Toronto. It was quite an experience, and not one that I hated so much that I wouldn't do it again. In fact, I would go as far as to say that it was fun, and I wouldn't mind going again (yes, I admit it ok? stop looking at me like that!!). But there is a few funny stories to go with the night.

First my friend Rachel and I decided that it would be a good idea to have a drink or two to loosten up a bit before meeting Gemini's friends (who are girls, and girls are intimidating...) so, we got together at her house, at which point we both realized that we knew how to show off our best assets. Both of our shirts were cut so as to show significant cleavage, because it's a club, and that's what people do. So we head over to the birthday girl's house with our "significant others" (?) and when the door is opened we get greeting by her parents...(thanks for telling us Gemini!) Oh, and the better part...Gemini's parents were there too, and his aunt, his uncle, his cousin. When he said they were family friends I apparently didn't get the extent.

So picture this. I *discreetly* shove my hand into my jacket and yank my shirt up to an appropriate-for-parents hight, but my friend Rachel cannot do this. Her shirt style prevents it. So when the mom takes Rachels coat she turns around to look at me all embarrased. She looks down at my shirt, and mouths at me "bitch!!" Hahaha

Anyways, birthday girl insisted on having a limosine so she got what she wanted. The driver showed up at the door with strict orders for rules of the limo. She reads "No alcoholic beverages in the vehicle. Subjet to $200 fine" She gets a little irritated. The driver didn't tell her this before. I tell Gemini to go talk to the driver (he's a smooth talker) and ask him if we can drink. He starts by saying no, then plastic bottles only, then "whatever, as long as you ditch the bottles before we get there". Haha. We took two bottles of rum, some beer, and champaghne and it had to be gone before we got there (45 minute drive). It was the perfect example of how-not-to-drink.

Upon arrival at the club, the booze was gone, the club was empty (because it was early) and our group started the dance party (someone's gotta do it...). I stuck with Gemini, and Rachel and her boyfriend because Geminis girl-friends were sticking together. I think at least one of two girls have a serious crush on him, so I might have sensed a bit of attitude (but I'm not sure). In any case, I didn't see the girls for the rest of the night so it doesn't matter. We danced. We drank more. We danced more (there may have been a platform or a pole involved at some point but I'm not going to say...) and before you know it, it was time to go.

I found out after that Rachels boyfriend got sick in the bar. On the floor. Gross.

Gemini called his mom to pick us up from the birthday girls house (where the limo dropped us off). I didn't believe him when he said "don't worry I called my mom", but I had no choice but to believe him when she showed up with the van to drive everyone home. It was fun.

I went to his house last night for a visit, and his mom asks me "so did you have fun at the club on Saterday" and say "yes I did actually, it was a lot of fun" and she says "do you like the music there" and I say "yes, I like it pretty well" (my mom taught me how to be polite, hahaha) and then she says (wait for it....) "Did you dance on the platforms? with the poles...?"

Oh my GOD, what do I say to that?? "umm, no. I wouldn't do something like that".

Gemini looks at me and says "I can't believe you just lied to my mom right to her face" (we are still standing right in front of her by the way)

We all laughed a lot. Reminds me of my house.

Good times.

Here Goes Nothin'

2007-02-10T14:36:00.000-08:00

So I have a couple hours before I go out tongiht to meet some of Gemini's best friends. It's got me a little nervous I'm not going to lie. And guess where we're going...the CLUB in Toronto. Yes people, I am going to a club. For the first time. And I'm not very excited about it. BUT one of my best friends Rachel is coming, so that should make it easier.

Last night we went out to Country Night at a bar. It was probably the most horrible experience of my going-out life (sorry Anita). I hate country music. Honky Tonk BullS%$#. But it was Anita's birthday night and she had fun, so that's what matters :)

I'll update you all on the night out at the club soon :)

Having a bit of a life is fun to blog about.

Facebook Official

2007-02-07T07:29:00.000-08:00

So the story continues...

I called Gemini last night while taking a break from a science paper I was reading. We chatted for a bit about nothing (how our day was etc.) and then somehow the conversation got turned around and we started discussing where things are going in terms of "us". I think both of us were wierded out a little about being the one to decide about the status of things. Well I know I was. I don't know him super-well yet so I don't know a lot about his past (especially in terms of dating history). He claims he hasn't had any serious relationships, but that could mean one of two things (both very different things).
#1: He's a "player" or however you want to put it. Basically he dates whoever but never actually commits to anyone cause he wants to play the field.
#2: He's picky, and hasn't found the right person yet.

Anyways, during this discussion, I kind of imply that I'm a little worried that it might turn out to be more of a #1 kind of situation, in which case, I'd not be interested in letting things progress too far. And he laughs at me (geeze this is happening a lot lately...). He jokes for about 5 or 10 minutes straight about how he's the one who has to worry. That guys are probably throwing themselves at me constantly etc etc. He says "What do you think I am, a man-whore?". I say, "well I don't know, maybe". He assures me that this isn't the case, and that if I ask his friend (whom I know because he's dating one of my best friends), he can tell me that Gemini is just picky. He hasn't had relationships because he hasn't found the right person yet.

And so it continues...I mention that his Facebook account is full of girls comments and they all seem to have crushes on him. Again he laughs and assures me they are just flirtatious friends, some of which he's known sinse childhood. I mention that he hasn't made our situation public yet (ie. putting his "status" on facebook). He says he's been waiting for me, cause he doesn't want to push me into it. So he changes it while still on the phone with me. So we are now (facebook) officially dating. I'd say that's the most official it can get. Everyone he knows (even sort-of) will see that he is now dating Me.

Then he asks me if I want to go to a birthday party for one of his friends (one of the girls I assumed was persuing him) on Saterday. But it's in Toronto and they are taking a limosine. Crazy people. Not only am I 23 and have never been to a club in Toronto, but I'm not exactly jumping at the chance to do it. Especially not with nobody else I know, and most-especially not showing up in a limo. Embarrasing much? So I don't know what to do. When I said I didn't want to go alone he invited one of my friends and her boyfriend (who is also his friend). I guess I'll see if my friend is coming. That would be better. But what would I wear? I don't do clubs...

Anyways, now it is blogger official too.

Oh, as an afterthought...turns out he didn't get the point that I have only dated one guy. We were talking about the whole paying-the-bill thing, cause I just needed to emphasize my point (ie. that I hate it). He said that I'm probably the only girl on Earth that doesn't like that (which may or may not be the case, but whatever). He was asking if no guys I dated have ever opened doors and such for me before. He kept referring to me-and-guys and eventually I stopped him and said "Gemini...can you listen to me carefully for 2 minutes?! I started dating Greg when I was 15, and continued to date him until August. I have not (repeat - have not) dated since then. And when you're 15, the romance thing isn't an issue, and after a few years when it might become an issue, we were already dating too long for that kind of romance" And his response was something like "what? you haven't dated anyone since?...oh...didn't you break up in August?...oh...I didn't realize..." At which point I let him know...I'm picky too ;)

Meeting the Family :S

2007-02-06T05:41:00.000-08:00

Getting back into the dating world is turning out to be scary, and fun. So, since I seem to have nothing better to talk about these days (judging by the lack of blogs on my part) I'll fill you all in on the latest with Gemini. Oh man, if he only knew I was posting our getting-to-know-each-other (?) for all the world to see. Haha

So last night I came home from work and went to the gym. Nothing special, just a regular Monday night. It was about 9pm when I finished there and dropped my bestest buddy Anita off at home. On the way home I called Gemini to see what he was up to. He was "jamming" (ie. playing guitar) with his younger brother (who plays base guitar) and his younger cousin (who plays drums). So he invited me over for a bit to hang out. My first thought was "It's Monday night. I never do anything on Mondays, it's a school night". My second thought was "Aimee, you're such a dork", so I decided it wasn't a bad idea.

I went home and showered quickly, got dressed, ate some chicken and went to his house. What I didn't realize was what I was getting into. I felt a little tricked, but it was fine. His entire family was there. His Mom and Dad, his brother and sister, his grandma (who lives with him), his aunt and cousin (who live next door), and his grandparents from Trinidad (who were going back on a flight this morning at 4am). So, needless to say, walking in the door was a bit overwhelming. They were very welcoming. Hugs all around! And several comments from his family along the lines of "Gemini told us you were pretty, but he didn't say how pretty", and "Let me see your eyes, you pretty girl" etc. Can you picture me as red as a tomato? Yup, that was me at that moment.

Anyways, I went downstairs and listened to them play for a few songs. They are good. I am surprised when kids (9 and 12?) can play intruments that well, but anyways...we went back upstairs to hang out with the family. I felt like I was imposing on family time a little, since the grandparents were leaving soon, but they insisted I wasn't. Then came the game of 20 (or a thousand) questions, each one of which was directed at me. Questions about school, and what I want to do with my life etc. Questions about the gym and my eating habbits from grandpa (who used to be a body builder). And on and on. It was clear I was nervous. Gemini kept asking if I was OK. And I was, but I get a little uncomforatable talking about myself all the time. It turns out Gemini's dad studied similar things to me in University. He worked with rats, and studied hypertension (the topic of my PhD thesis when I get to it). Interesting...

So it was good. I think he plans on keeping me around for a while, haha. And Mama Dukes is right. I just have to integrate him into family life at my house now, which shouldn't be hard. I'm pretty sure his sense of humor will get him a long way in my family. And sinse he's used to an "open-house" I think it shouldn't be too hard to get used to my house, with our "my-house-is-your-house" mentality.

Oh, and yes mom...he IS cute.

PS. still open to suggestions about Blogging topics...otherwise I'm going to sound 13 again, and all I will talk about will be boys!! Help me out people.

Date with Gemini

2007-02-05T13:15:00.000-08:00

Hey, quick update before I leave to go home from work. Haha

The date with Gemini on Friday was good. We went to dinner, and had good conversation. Talked a lot about family and friends, and told silly stories from the past. We didn't talk about anything super-serious, which was nice. He seems really into his family though, which is really important to me.

Anyways, the only bad part about dinner was that he insisted on paying. I'm a split-the-bill type person. I don't like to fight over who's paying for it, but I don't need everything done for me either. This goes along with the door opening thing (which I think I might have got across after being very pushy). But maybe he'll get the hint eventually.

After, he asked if I wanted to go to a movie. I suggested just hanging out and doing something low-key and he asked if I wanted to go to his friends house and just hang out for a while. I said sure. On the way he tried bringing me to meet his parents. I'm pretty sure my panic was showing when we pulled into his driveway and he said his aunts and grandpaerents were visiting too. He didn't make me go in. I'm sure it would have been fine, but I don't know how much they know about me. I'll be embarrased whenever this happens, so I should have gotten it over with. Oh well. He met Mama Dukes. I think she likes him?? Eh ma...? Not bad eh?

Anyways, we went to his friends house and hung out. We chatted and watched part of a movie. We listened to music for a while, and hung out with the guys. I liked seeing his friends cause I think it gives you a pretty good idea about how he spends his time. In this case, he's into music, and cars, and boy stuff. Haha. But it was a night like I would spend with my friends. At home with a few close buddies. Good job.

He asked me (in words I can't recall exactly) if he could call me his "girlfriend".
I laughed a little and asked him if that was a new line.
Then I felt really stupid and laughed more.
He gets it I think. I dig him. haha

Anyways, he came to a house party that I was at on Saterday too. I found out a few more interesting things (always something new). I don't know if I mentioned that he plays guitar (which is very attractive), but he does. I found out he also plays the drums, and the piano. He plays them all well too. Very nice...haha. He came out for a meal with a couple of my friends. He paid the bill again...for all of us. I don't know when that's going to stop. But hopefully soon. I hope he doesn't think I'm being polite offering to pay or something. I think things should be split for at least a while. We'll see.

Anyways, for now Gemini is a winner. He has peaked my interest (a relatively hard thing to do I think). I'm keeping him around, and we'll see what happens. He might find out that I've been secretly writing about him and never speak to me again. It would be his loss :)

Obsessions

2007-02-02T15:57:00.000-08:00

So, I promised in the blog below (and will keep that promise from this day forth) to blog about anything that is requested of me. I don't think of topics easily, but I have an open mind, so I'm willing to get it all out perfectly publically. So a good friend of my moms (MP: I told mom you said hi by the way) requested that I write about what I like or dislike right now, or anything that I might be obsessed with at the moment. So that becomes the topic of this blog.

#1: FACEBOOK
In May when I started school at U of T I had never even heard of facebook. Basically it is a way for students in lot of different networks to get in touch with eachother. You post a profile with your information and photo albums, and notes, etc etc. And people can request that you add them as your friends. You eventually build da list of people that you can talk to through private or public messages. It's silly really, but I'm obsessed.
I am a self-proclaimed Facebook stalker. I can glimpse into people's lives, and see what they are up to now (as in what they are doing in life this year, month, or moment). It's a creepy obsession really. I check up on many of the people on my list often, and I get notified when they put something new into their profile.
In fact, I found this guy I used to date. You could say it was the first guy I ever "loved". I messaged him. We talked a little bit (well a lot over a few days) and he asked me out for drinks etc. I said no. That brings me to the next thing I like (though I wouldn't call him an obsession).

#2: GEMINI
I'm naming the guy gemini to keep his identity private (not because I'm embarrased or anything, but more because he didn't agree to be written about, haha).
Anyways, I wouldn't have written about it but it deserves to be on the list, so he is. The story starts with a friend of mine and her current boyfriend deciding that I might like to meet Gemini. They brought him to my house as a friend of a friend a couple of weeks ago. He is cute, but I wasn't Looking to like him just because (he's a little younger than me, so I forsaw that being a bit of an issue)
Anyways, he turns out to be hilarious, and outgoing, and basically very charming. So I gave him my number, and he has been making me laugh ever since. A few phone calls, several facebook messages (yes, I can stalk him too), and a night out for coffee. And tonight (in about an hour) my first official date (maybe ever...?). So I was paniky about it all afternoon because he said he was "making reservations" and you know me, I prefer low-maintenance. Anyways, I convinced him we should go to East Side's instead of someplace fancy. He said ok, thankfully. So, now that he has an official secret-blog-name I'll let you know how it goes.

PS. The name comes from the fact that his astrologiccal sign is gemini (obviously), and I've never "gone out" with anyone who wasn't gemini. Maybe it's a bad habbit I have to break I dunno. But even as a kid, counting everyone I ever had a crush on pretty much, every single one of them has been a gemini. Wierd eh?

#3: MUSIC
Lastly...I have a renewed need for music. I used to need to listen to music every day, just to get me through the day. I find music healing and helpful. Angry music can make me happy sometimes, and an inspirational song like "Good day - Jewel" can start anyones day off smiling. A good hip-hop dance song can put a hop in my step or make me feel a little prettier or something. It's wierd, but I don't think it's unusual. I lost that feeling for a while. I wasn't excited about music anymore. But it's back. I love it. It makes me feel good. Today I have the song "The Dolphins Cry - Live" in my head. It's a beautiufl song. But I had a dream about the song "Fade to Black - Metallica", so maybe that should be my song for the day.

I'm not feeling dislike towards anything in particular right at this moment (might be happy cause of the date or something, I dunno). But I'm sure I'll make that a blog for another time, when I think of something good.

Thanks to MP for this blog. Keep the suggestions coming. I really miss blogging. I have been waiting for a reason to write.

The Suckiest Blogger Ever

2007-02-02T07:17:00.000-08:00

I know OK? You don't have to tell me ;)

Quick update since I'm at school and should really be working.
I realized it's been about forever and a day since I last blogged. I think people may be taking me off of there daily procrastinating website check. Haha. I know you do it! I do it too!

Anyways, life has been busy lately. School is getting a little more intense, but things are still going really well. With a few minor problems, I am still sticking to the schedule I made in September to allow me to transfer to PhD in the summer.

I really have nothing interesting to say publically. I have been doing a lot of personal journal writing instead. I don't like to post stories about people in particular because it's not fair to them (unless I tell them of course, which wouldn't be fun), and bad-day stories get old fast. But here's my thought for the day:

If I could go anywhere in the world today, I would pack my camera and some other stuff and take a trip to Tanzania. I would stay there too (assuming my favorite people were with me) for a while. Maybe a month or two. Because it would be quiet, and slow paced, and I could relax. The culture looks amazing, and the land is incredible. I'm there in my mind today.

PLEASE help me out. I need topics to blog about. I am having serious (public) writer's block. I am oppinionated just like my mom, so pick something (anything!) and I'll write about every single suggestion (assuming it wont offend my grandma...HI grandama!!). And that offer stands from this day forward.

I'm out.

Being mindful

2007-01-05T06:02:00.000-08:00

Last night at pool we had a brief discussion about customer service. Don't ask me why I continue thinking about these short conversations long after they happen, because I don't know. Anyways, it got me to thinking about life in 2007. People are more withdrawn, and much less personal with everyone they encounter (not as a rule, but as an observation). If you pay attention for one full day, you'll recognize what I'm saying.

Think about the last time you went shopping and made a purchase (even if it was only a pack of gum). What was the look you got from the employee? Did they smile at you? Or even make eye contact? Did you say thank you? Or wish the person a good day? If I'm not mistaken, this was something people used to do. When they asked how you were today, they were really wondering. And when you answered, it wasn't the automatic "I'm OK" or "good thanks".

And another obvious one (especially if you are a commuter). People have stopped holding doors for other people. They open the door with their foot or elbow just enough to get through, and don't even look back to see if there is someone behind them. This is just rude in my opinion. I'm not saying that someone should sit in the passenger seat of a car waiting for the driver to open the door for them (let's not be ridiculous now), but have a little bit of courtesy.

CHALLENGE #1: The next time you ask someone how they are doing, wait for an answer, and listen to their response.
CHALLENGE #2: Next time you buy something, smile at the person working the cash, and say "thanks, have a great day!" and mean it. (Sometimes cashiers will laugh, because they hear and see this soo infrequently)
CHALLENGE #3: Hold a door/elevator for someone, even if you have to wait a few seconds. Face it...you're often not in that much of a hurry. You're just going to work to sit at your desk and check your email/blogs/rants. And if someone pays you this courtesy, say "thank you" and mean it.

To extend my ranting and ravings, I'm not sure why people are soo pessimistic in everyday life. The world is against them (and only them). I think this is in large part a product of ignorance. People tend to ignore the things that are going right, and focus on the things that are going wrong. When they get an email, or any form of written message, they tend to take it the wrong way (often not the way it was meant when written). Not that I'm an eternal optimist or anything, but I'm trying hard to recognize when people are making remarks in general, or when they are trying to send me a not-so-subtle hint. I'm not great at it still, even though I try to make this conscious effort. For example, while playing pool last night my mama dukes made the comment "If this game takes any longer I'm going to miss the end of it, I have to pee soo bad" (or something to that degree). I took it as "this is the longest game ever...", which of course pissed me off a little. But I was pissed at myself for not shooting pool better, and for no good reason either. She was simply making a comment, and it wasn't supposed to be anything personal against me. In fact she uses sarcastic humor A LOT, and it's because the people who know her know that it's her loving way of joking with you.

CHALLENGE #4: When writing or reading a letter/email (etc) consider the various ways in which it can be interpreted before jumping to conclusions about its tone. If the tone of the letter/email (etc) is in question...write back to clarify meaning. (I've tried this one myself when I thought my best friend was pissed at me. It turned out we had the message crossed.)

Take Home Message: Be mindful of what message you're putting across in any moment, and try to understand that others aren't as mindful as you. Don't take things personally (while of course remaining realistic).

I'm going to try hard to take my own advice too...

Right Where I Belong

2007-01-03T11:02:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about where my life is, and where it's heading. I try to be honest with myself when I contemplate these things, because it would be otherwise useless. I've thought about the rollercoster of emotion I went through when applying to university (both times). Plenty of worries about if I was good enough to do it, or if I would be able to stick with it. And of course the financial burdon of being a student. Incurring debt with no forseeable income to pay it off. If it's really what I want, or if I'm just following social convention of some sort. Whether I'm trying to please other people, or if I am doing it to please myself? Will it pay off in the end? Or am I wasting valuble money and time? A lot of time. Years could be lost if I make the wrong choice.

But now I'm here, and the decision has been made. I have committed myself to at least two years here, in a lab with these people. Emotionally I have committed myself to longer. I have decided that I wouldn't be happy with anything less than my PhD. And so again I am worried and stuck in the worry of making the wrong decisions. Maybe I'm wasting my time. What will I do with it when I'm done. The age old question I've never been able to answer confidently...What do I want to be when I grow up? Except that now I'm grown up, and I still can't answer you confidently, so don't ask.

But I've decided on one thing. I am right where I should be. Every decision I've made up to this point has been the right one. I'm not regretting the financial strain, and I'm not regretting my education. I love the research I'm doing. I love to learn. I even like waking up early every morning and coming to the lab. I've learned to appreciate the alone time I have on the commute. I am right where I belong.

I still worry about what I'm going to do with the degree, when it's all said and done. But I'm not hiding from anything. I'm not putting off growing up by staying in school. This is what I was meant for, and I can't imagine myself anywhere else. My life is unfolding, and I'm right where I belong. A good feeling right?