Like a Rat in a Wheel
A few people who read my blog on a regular basis have raised the point that I blog in phases. I will not blog for a week and then all of a sudden it's like something strikes me that makes me need to blog twice a day. I'll tell you what this ingrediant for frequent blogging is...
Work.
When I get super-busy (abnormally busy) [like the weeks when I have papers due every day, or exams, or major presentations] I tend to have a lot to say. The funny thing is, I don't have too much to say about the work I'm doing, but instead I think about random things, and I feel the need to share these things.
So, this week is a busy week (as you can tell by my frequent posts). And I've thought of an analogy for my brain.
It's like a rat in a wheel.
If rats are housed in a cage alone with ad lib (all the time) access to a running wheel, they will run on the wheel for a good portion of their time. But, if the wheel is taken away and then re-introduced, the rat will be so scared of losing the wheel again that it will continue running without sleep or food until it dies. Literally.
This is like my brain when I get busy. Once it gets going, it's like I can't stop thinking or I'll lose my momentum and not be able to keep up. Instead I think and contimplate everything that pops into my head until eventually my brain stops working, and I need a long period of rest (ie. I'm brain-dead)
Unfortunatly, I have no control over when my brain stops thinking or starts, and so I find myself unable to sleep or concentrate on the task at hand. Concentration is linked to loneliness, or at least it is for me. When I am lonely I can't do anything for very long, before I start thinking about how lonely I am (at which point I stop working).
Luckily, I have this amazing ability to write papers unconciously. I did it just yesterday. I had this paper due today worth 30% of my grade. I wrote it in 3 hours (eek!). I read it this afternoon, and had no recollection of most of my ideas. For some, I thought "hmm, that's not a bad idea..." and for others...not so much
Maybe I have split personalities after all. That would explain a few things.
Side note: I think I have passed my OCD onto my roomie. He asked me this morning if I switched the direction of his bread in the fridge. I didn't, but it made me laugh because I ask him things like this all the time (Did you use my xxxxx? Cause it's turned 4 degrees since I left it last, etc.)
Work.
When I get super-busy (abnormally busy) [like the weeks when I have papers due every day, or exams, or major presentations] I tend to have a lot to say. The funny thing is, I don't have too much to say about the work I'm doing, but instead I think about random things, and I feel the need to share these things.
So, this week is a busy week (as you can tell by my frequent posts). And I've thought of an analogy for my brain.
It's like a rat in a wheel.
If rats are housed in a cage alone with ad lib (all the time) access to a running wheel, they will run on the wheel for a good portion of their time. But, if the wheel is taken away and then re-introduced, the rat will be so scared of losing the wheel again that it will continue running without sleep or food until it dies. Literally.
This is like my brain when I get busy. Once it gets going, it's like I can't stop thinking or I'll lose my momentum and not be able to keep up. Instead I think and contimplate everything that pops into my head until eventually my brain stops working, and I need a long period of rest (ie. I'm brain-dead)
Unfortunatly, I have no control over when my brain stops thinking or starts, and so I find myself unable to sleep or concentrate on the task at hand. Concentration is linked to loneliness, or at least it is for me. When I am lonely I can't do anything for very long, before I start thinking about how lonely I am (at which point I stop working).
Luckily, I have this amazing ability to write papers unconciously. I did it just yesterday. I had this paper due today worth 30% of my grade. I wrote it in 3 hours (eek!). I read it this afternoon, and had no recollection of most of my ideas. For some, I thought "hmm, that's not a bad idea..." and for others...not so much
Maybe I have split personalities after all. That would explain a few things.
Side note: I think I have passed my OCD onto my roomie. He asked me this morning if I switched the direction of his bread in the fridge. I didn't, but it made me laugh because I ask him things like this all the time (Did you use my xxxxx? Cause it's turned 4 degrees since I left it last, etc.)
posted by Aimee at 10:09 AM
2 Comments:
I think this could be a form of procrastination....it could also be a safety mechanism that you have to protect your brain. I often think that if you have concentrated too long on one topic or piece of work etc...that we need to give the brain another focus just for a form of rest. Things that are still action but tend to be more relaxing and therefore in some sense restorative. In your case...because I love you and don't wanna be negative I will choose the latter explanation for you.... ;)
I think your smartness(is that a word) is rubbing your mom !!!!!!! or is it the other way around was she there first???
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