Out of the Loop

Do you ever have a moment of clairity, when you realise that either something you have done or maybe something you have not done has caused a change you aren't happy with. I have felt this before, and I am feeling it again right this instant (hense the creation of this blog post).

I am sitting at the table reading an incredibly boring paper about something or another when I get this email that basically says, "I don't know if you're busy this date but all of "us" are going to do this...". The email is from a good friend of mine who I love to death, but haven't seen much of lately. I'm not sure how to take it, but I respond say of course I will go, especially since it happens to fall on the date of my other best friend's birthday.

For understanding purposes only I will describe our friendship as a triangle. It is (or at least used to be) the three of us always causing innocent trouble and hanging out every Friday and Saturday, and when something changed (and I mean every little thing!) we all knew about it. It's like a little clique. The kind you don't want to fall apart because there is an understanding that it will just always be that way. And once in a while there came a time or a person that would interrupt it a bit, and things would be a little different for a while, but not much, because really when it came down to it, we all knew that a few beers and a backyard chat would make everything all return to normal again.
But things have been a little different lately. We have all been dating (or prospectivly dating) someone for a long time (months or years) and these people have been taking up bits of our time. School (for me) and work (for them) have taken over our lives to some degree, and we no longer sit around and chat all night like we could back in the day. We are tired and need to go to work the next day, or have just worked all day, and rarely make it past midnight. Plans get in the way. Just life. And I arrive to this time, when now I feel like I've been left out of the loop. Like somewhere along the line (and I'm sure it's my fault to), I have let school, or sleep, or something get in the way of being involved in my friends lives.

And so I get this email, and it makes me a little sad because I can hear the tone in it that is accusing. That says basically "well if you think you can find the time for us...."
And I wonder when things changed. I think it was after a full month of emails four times weekly asking if she was busy, and getting a constant "yeah...". And trying to make plans soo far in advance that it seemed silly to have to plan time to just hang out. I think I stopped making the effort. But the other two corners of the triangle seems to be in tact. But that's just a line, and doesn't seem right.

They are playing sports together (I find out through email), and already have plans for the weekend (which I'm invited to, but it feels like an afterthought and makes me not want to go at all). My friend got her hunting license! and I didn't even know she started the course. So, I'm sad today. And I don't know how to get it back to normal.

And I offer this advice. If you care about someone or something, no matter how regular or busy things get, always make time for it/them, and never take it/them for granted.

End Blog.