Something Different

If anyone hasn't seen the Dairy Queen commercial with the waffle cup dude and the ice cream gal, with chocolate sauce, I highly suggest you go to Google, and search it. It's hilarious at the end when the guy shudders. I laugh about it every time I think of it.

Another good video clip is a skit done by Wil Ferrel and his daughter. Go to Google, and search for "Pearl the Landlord" and watch it. It's hilarious as well.

And if anyone has a weirdo sense of humor like me, go to Utube and search "shoes" and watch the music video. And if you enjoy that (which takes a special kind of person) then link to "muffins" by the same people. In my opinion, it's soo stupid it's funny. Kind of like Austin Powers or Napoleon Dynamite.

My sense of humor is different than some I think , but whatever, I'm awesome.

Oh, and speaking of awesome...I might get to see my little Einstein princess tonight!! Mama Dukes mentioned the possibility of going to pick her up and go for a play date. If I can make a decent plan by then, I might figure out a way to steal her, and keep her, and convince her to call me "mommy" so that when her parents want her back, she will forget who they are and tell the judge (using sign language) that I am the best (and only) mommy she's ever known :)

Judas Cradle

I was thinking about sleep again, and deciding what would be a good method for human sleep deprivation. The people in my lab went for lunch together yesterday, and had a conversation about the kid who stayed awake for 11 days (supposedly) for a science fair project. Apparently, some other dude was trying to break the record by staying awake longer, but the Guinness Book of World records didn't even want to accept it because it was too dangerous. So, it got me to thinking about sleep deprivation in humans and what it does.

There aren't many reported cases. In fact most of the cases of sleep deprivation of more than about 2 days are due to drugs, disease, interrogation or torture, all of which would have health effects outside of loosing sleep. But I thought about my little rats, who I would never ever sleep deprive for 11 days because it would be mean. But humans have a conscious mind that can decide (at least for a while) that it doesn't want to sleep. In the name of science.

So we joked about staying awake for the 4 days that the rats are awake, just to see how it feels. We joked, but then I got curious. I asked how long my lab-mates would sleep if they were not required to go to bed and wake up at work times. Every one of them responded between 8 and 10 hours. But why? Because sleeping is fun, or feels productive? I don't get it. You definitly don't need 10 hours of sleep. In fact, so far the closest researchers have come to deciding on the optimal sleep time was 7.5 hours per night. So, why do we like to sleep so much? Good question...

I also thought about how I feel when I'm really tired. I don't think that kid could have stayed awake for 11 days straight. Maybe he got a very little bit of sleep, but not NONE. I don't believe it. And if it is possible, then I would love to see it for myself. I would love to do tests on him too. Measure his heart rate, and take blood samples to see if his immune system sucks after. It would be fascinating. And no one did it. There were apparently reporters and such with him, so why were't there doctors? Why weren't they studying him? He apparently held a press conference and seemed coherent and fine during it. But then, why did he stop? who decided on 264 hours?

I read some stuff on human sleep deprivation. Picture this: during times of war etcetera, people use sleep deprivation as a form of interrogation and torture. The drive to fall asleep is soo strong that even being strung up above a pyramid naked and tied in such a way that if you fell asleep the pyramid would be in a painful place; doesn't work to keep you awake. Seriously. It's called a Judas Cradle. I will include a picture, but only to give you an idea of the seriousness of our need to sleep.
I know I couldn't stay awake even 1/3 that long, so how did the kid do it? I don't think he did. End of story. I have a hard time believing it anyways.

And I couldn't think of a way to humanely sleep deprive a human. So I guess the at-home deprivation that I was thinking about isn't going to happen. Maybe another year. I hope that this guy who can't get a Guinness award at least makes some scientific measurements on himself. For me, and for science :)

Happy, Grumpy, Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful, and Dock!

How many seconds does it take you to figure out which one of the seven dwarfs is missing? I stole him and took him to my lab (that's your only clue!!) to join the rats. He fits right in...

It's Sleepy!! (ah, haha I crack myself up!)

I'm writing this post because it's the only way I can think of to dissipate some of the guilt I felt this morning when I went into the lab (yes, on a Sunday...). You see I'm doing this experiment that requires that I keep rats awake for a few days. It's not cruel like in the "olden days" (ie. the late 80's and early 90's) when they could keep animals awake until they died. Definitely doesn't match that caliber. But I still felt a little bit of guilt because I know what it means to be tired. I've had my fair share of lost sleep too, but I choose this. My cutie pies didn't have a choice. But they are happily sleeping now, and tomorrow when I give them a big kiss and hug, they will love me again, and they can get fat on raisins and nuts until the end of their days (which might unfortunately be sooner than later) And they were tired let me tell you. And it reminded me of a story.

When I was younger I was always interested in sleep. I think everyone is. Or maybe it was just me being a curious kid. I studied the lost city of Atlantis too, so that might be a hint as to my nerdiness from birth. Anyways, I would read the crock-of-sh*t dream dictionaries, and read watch documentaries on sleep. It's fascinating because we all do it, and there are still soo many sleep mysteries. Even to this day. And before I grew up and discovered the messed up properties of my own sleep, I was merely curious as to why Mama Dukes "made me" do it. I thought for sure it was just a ploy to get us out of her hair, and once my head hit the pillow, I was sure that's when all the excitement began.

So one night I'm hanging out with my mom's friend's son. His name is Josh, and he's over for a visit with his mom. He's spending the night. Jen and I were still sharing a room at this point, so I was pretty young. We had bunk beds and our bedroom window looked out onto the ground because we were in a first floor apartment. That night Josh and I decided to be rebellious and not sleep. We decided early on in the night. Before it got dark, and our eyelids got heavy. But we promised each other, so there was no backing down.

We pretended to sleep until the parents went to bed and then we got out the flashlight we had hid away earlier, and got busy. We made a make-shift stage out of books and such, and played with Alivin-and-the-chipmunks action figures I think we got from McDonalds or something. We might have wasted an hour. And that's when it started. The overwhelming tired feeling. When your eyes start to burn, and your eyelids droop a little lower. It actually becomes difficult to concentrate on anything other than sleeping. It's like your whole body needs to rest now, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. So we both felt it coming. We talked about it, and decided that if one of us closed our eyes for even one second too long, that the other one would poke them to wake up. We did this for what seemed like a lifetime. We turned the bedroom light on. We didn't care at this point that if our mothers were to wake up to use the washroom, we would surely get scolded. The light helped, for a while.

I remember talking for a long time. I think we must have spent the majority of the night describing how tired we were, and how awesome it was that we were pulling an all-nighter. We did it too. We looked out the window and saw the first bit of sunlight start to peek above the horizon, and we decided that was enough. We had done it! We stayed up all night!! It was probably only 5am, but it didn't matter. The sun was out, so it counted. So we were excited but disappointed. The last thing we talked about before falling asleep was how little happened during the night. Everyone was just sleeping the whole time!

Since then I have pulled several all-nighters, but it's never been that exciting ever again. Now it's to finish assignments or prepare work. Sometimes you just stay up talking with roommates or friends soo long you hardly notice the time passing and the sun coming up. But it never lasts long. Never more than 48 hours. It kills your brain too fast.

If I don't sleep enough now, my body steals it. I will continue writing or talking, but I'll definitely be asleep. Never for long, but just long enough to keep me going. My sentence is usually spoken or written incoherently, and when I wake up in the middle of it, I realize I just sounded ridiculous. There's no way to cover it up either. I just get embarrassed and admit it. Oh sorry...I was sleeping....

If anyone is interested...I'm looking for human volunteers for my own personal at-home experiment. It might involve sleep-deprivation as a method of interrogation...I'm not sure :)

You Know the Feeling...?

When you do something so dumb that it would qualify you for an award if there were stupid-police running around spying on people and waiting for them to do something ridiculous? And then you go all red in the face, and wonder if anyone noticed just how stupid you've just been? This has happened to me, but I'm choosing not to recount the tales for fear of losing any dignity that I have left. Instead I will share with you a story.

So Mama Dukes and I are on our way to work this morning. It's about 6:55 or 7:00am and we are pulling into the drive through at Tim Hortons. We do this every morning pretty much, so nothing is new or different or exciting. Except that there is a woman in an SUV with her huge gas-guzzling vehicle running behind a PARKED car. Just sitting there.

So Mama Dukes and I look, and wonder if she's wanting to go through the drive through. I say "no way, she must just be waiting for someone. The other car is PARKED". It wasn't particularily close to the drive through entrance either, and there was no line. The speaker that miraculously takes orders was lonely. So, we made a move and pulled into the drive through. A few cars follow behind us and form a line.

At this point you see a confused woman in an SUV reverse, and pull away from the PARKED car, and pull into the line-up of cars in the drive through. Mama Dukes and I laugh a lot at her stupidity. Granted she hadn't had her coffee yet, but still!! You've got to be a zombie not to notice that the car in front of you isn't moving! and there's noone in the drivers seat!!

I wonder how long she was waiting there before we pulled in and she realized she's a freakin moron!! And stopped cursing the car in front of her for not pulling through the drive through. Ah hahaha. If she has any brain cells left after all the white-out and permenant markers she must have sniffed as a kid, she'll probably think about this incident all day (at least!) and maybe even every time she pulls up to a drive through.

Good times...

Tagged a While Back

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1. Sunny Side of Life
2. Pinkrawkstar
3. All My Ex-Boyfriends
4. Not So Starving Writer
5. Aimee Thinks
   

Next select five people to tag: (if you haven’t done it already)

1. Mama Dukes
   
2. Kate
   
3. Mark
   
4. Nobody else reads my blog that also has a blog (that I know of)
   
5. I suck
   

What were you doing 10 years ago?

Ten years ago I would have been 14. That would put me in summer just after 9th grade. Wow. I had just finished a hellish year in highschool where I was picked on pretty terribly. The worst part about it was that I was totally head-over-heals crushing on the guy who was the worst culprit. I dated him in seventh grade for 3 months 21 days (and yes, I still remember, I was obsessed). I don't know why he broke up with me. It might have had something to do with the fact that we were like 13 and that much time seems like a lifetime to be dating someone. I had my heart broken for the first time, and then he decided he would make fun of me. He carried it on through highschool. I was miserable, and depressed, and I had one friend in the world.

My best friend's name was Erin. She was miserable also. We fed on eachother's depression, to the point where things started to get bad. For me, I was too chicken to pass the point of angry music and army boots. But she wasn't. She started the infamous depressed 9th grade cutting, and expected me to follow. I consider myself lucky that I've never been a follower, because I am an all-or-nothing type. She wasn't. But I still wasn't happy. My mom announced that we were moving and I begged her to move as far away from where we were as we could. We comprimised on moving to a place where it was feasible for me to attend a different highschool, and for Jen to remain at hers. At this point in the summer, we had just moved (maybe three weeks earlier), and I was still a loner. But I wasn't picked on any more. I walked around discovering little areas in the neighborhood where I could be alone in peace, and I started to heal.

Alot has happened in ten years, and I feel like every single change has been for the better. I am happy. And I am able to appreciate my family, my education, and my past. For hwat it has taught me.

And...I recently talked to that guy. You know the one who I fell hard for, and he made my life miserable for a long time? He not only apologized but he tried to rekindle what only ever existed in my head. Luckily, I had just met Gemini that week, and I knew he was something special, so I was tempted, but I didn't meet him. He still messages me asking to "go for drinks" and such. I think that part of my life is better left in the past. I'm excited to see what the next 10 years will bring.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

Exactly one year ago today I was in Hailybury at a convent that was being converted into condos. I went to visit my now-ex-boyfriend. I went with his cousins up north. It was fun in that we had a HUGE place to ourselves. We ran around the place screaming and yelling, and noone could hear. There was about 500 rooms with things to discover, a full sized gymnasium to play in (complete with a stage), a wicked restaurant-style kitchen, and a fully accessable rooftop to view the town and the lake. We played guitar, and fished, cooked, watched movies, and relaxed. It was great...except for the fact that there was underlying tension between my ex and I. We both knew the relationship was over by this point. In fact, it had been over for quite some time probably. I don't know if it was just too scary to admit after 8 years, but we didn't even talk about it until the last day. I mentioned that I had barely seen him in the 4 days I was there. We were sleeping in seperate beds, and generally not enjoying eachothers company as anything more then good friends. That part was a little bit sad, and took a long time to accept. But I had a great time besides that. This time next year, I'll have a different, but also wonderful May-24 to look back on.

Five snacks you enjoy:

1. Cookies!!
   
2. Fruit
3. Candies (mentos, or anything sour)
   
4. Veggies (usually with salt, which makes this snack go from good to not-so-good)
   
5. Anything crunchy, or crispy, or chewy, or delicious. Let's face it...I snack all day. Today I brought dry cheerios, an orange, and hot chocolate as snacks. I know I shouldn't need brekfast and lunch as well, but I brought yogart and soup. I love food :D
   

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:

1. Miss world - Hole
   
2. I like Big Butts - Sir Mix-a-lot
3. In your eyes - Ben Harper
   
4. Broken - Seether
   
5. Nothing Else Matters - Metallica

I know the words to hundreds of more, but those were just the first 5 I thought of. I love music, and I love music with meaningful lyrics especially. So I listen for it.

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Buy mama dukes her bungalo. In (or close to) the town we live in now.
   
2. Pay off my (and my sisters) student loans, and any other debt that exists in my family.
   
3. Help my best friends.
   
4. Travel. Constantly. Until I practically ran out of money. But I'd do this after finishing school. So that when I got back, I could get a job and support my family.
   
5. Save. For children if I decide to have them. For their education. And if I don't have kids, I'll use the money to travel when I retire. To everywhere I didn't get to go before starting my career.
   

And I would do it in that order too. Not that I've thought about it...

Five bad habits:

1. Swearing
   
2. Judging people within minutes (sometimes seconds) of meeting them
3. Not sleeping enough
   
4. Eating too much and too often
   
5. Wearing an angry face by default (even if I'm very happy)
   

Five things you like doing:

1. Thinking
   
2. Hanging out with my family
   
3. Hanging out with Gemini
   
4. Writing
5. Reading

Five things you would never wear again:

1. Shoulder pads
2. Leggings
3. Stirrup pants
4. The pony tail holders with the big plastic balls on the ends that snap the shit out of your fingers when you lose your grip
5. body suits (ah hahaha, I laugh thinking about it)

PS. Four of those were stolen from Brianne's answers, but they were just soo good I had to leave them!! I could have added other horrible 80's and 90's trends like flourencent colours, and layered socks!!

Five favorite toys:

1. My boy toy (does that count? haha)
2. My dog (she's a toy breed...and I play with her, so that totally counts!!)
   
3. my MP3 player
   
4. my laptop
   
5. My baby beans

Family Circus

I took the liberty of adding an extra day to my 3-day weekend, and extending my time to include both Friday and Monday. Four days to relax, unwind, and hang out with…the guys :D Gemini’s friends were all heading up to a cottage to hang out and do stuff that guys do, and I somehow got an invitation. So I’m chatting with Gemini the night before we leave (cause I am sort of like a guy in that I don’t pack in advance) and ask what I should bring in the way of clothes and food etc. He says not to worry about food, unless I wanted to pick up a bag of Nachos, a bag of Doritos, and a jug of salsa. This is no problem in my mind. I don’t mind picking that up, but I ask “OK, but what are we going to EAT?!”

He says something about picking up hamburgers and hotdogs. I say OK, and hang up. But then it occurs to me that I don’t really eat hamburgers and hotdogs, and especially not three times a day for three days. So I call him back. I offer to make a lasagna. It’s a cheap way to feed 7 people (6 of which are growing men), and Mama Dukes would be making one for Robbie to take fishing as well. We are good to our men. I also mention that some other types of food might be nice…

In any case, the weekend went something like this: drinking, shooting things, playing sports, driving ATVs, playing cards, sleeping, playing sports, shooting things, drinking, sleeping, drinking, shooting things…etc. You get the point.

It was totally testosterone induced fun. Every conversation consisted of someone else “busting balls” (in feminine terms “talking trash?” about one of the people in the room, and everyone laughing hysterically until someone could think of a way to turn the mockery toward someone else. I was included in this “fun” by the way, but I think I handled it well, considering I’m usually take things very personally, joking or not. My reasoning – because every joke stems from the truth, or at least a partial truth. So I got made fun of basically for not being very fun, which is totally true most of the time. And not being able to make jokes. This one was maybe even a little bit funny to me by the end of the weekend, because I know I often make jokes that people don’t get. Not because it’s over their heads or some other witty reason…just cause I’m terrible at it, and I don’t smile. That last part --- the not smiling bit…that was new to me. I didn’t realize I don’t smile until it was pointed out to me every time. Then I realized that they were right, and that’s why I suck. So I laughed.

There was some trash-talk about people’s hobbies, or jobs, or the way they talk, their background, even the way they cook bacon. The last one is a good story, and there may have been a bit of backlash because boys will be boys and they are touchy about their ability to cook meat. There was definitely storming out of the cottage and shooting things over this mockery. I laughed too, so I’m just as guilty. One of the guys couldn’t even speak without his comment being followed by a brief silence, then someone saying “Oh comic relief…Bah hahahahahaa!!” Every time too. I would have cried to be honest. But he laughed with everyone, and eventually started just tacking it onto his sentence, to save the guys the breath I guess. We all still laughed.

I can tell you though, that I wasn’t upset about the lack of estrogen. There’s nothing more amusing than waking up in the morning to one guy running into someone else’s room, yanking down their pants and screaming “Ass in your face!! Ass in your face!!” Or hearing about (and even seeing in some cases) every single bowl movement of the weekend.

I fit much better into conversations about how stupid women can be, and how many seconds you can hold a belch. I was happy not to put on make-up or real-people clothes for three days. I didn’t mind getting dirty, lying on the ground, walking through the marshes, and shooting at pop cans all day. I should have sooo been born with a penis!! Except for the part where they don’t make sure the poop goes down, and the serious lack of hand washing. That part I could do without!

In my next incarnation though, I think I should definitely have male anatomy. And I better be well-endowed too, to make up for all this time I’ve lost (and having to deal with boobs and a period for all these years). I hope my lack of humor doesn’t kill any chance I might have of getting an invitation to the next weekend away. Maybe I’ll touch up on the inappropriate-but-generally-hilarious mockery so that next time, I can fit in a little better :)

I found these questions on another blog I read (Hi Brianne!) and thought it might be fun to answer them, just for fun. Also because I'm a sucky blogger and cant think of anything interesting to say in the mean time. She also gave people the opportunity to ask her any questions via email, and she would answer them as honestly as possible (on her blog? annonymously?). So since I'm playing copy-cat, I'll allow you to do the same. I wont post my email here though, but if you want it then just leave a little note/comment. Or you can ask your questions in the comments, if you're not shy :)

So here goes nothing...

1) If you had to get married today to someone you actually know, and only 4 people could attend...who would you choose to marry and who would you invite?

If I had to get married today, I would marry my current boyfriend (Gemini). I know, it's only been a few months, and I might be condeming myself to a miserable marriage, but I don't think so. The funny thing about Gemini is that he's very similar to me, but in the good way that makes it comforatable to do anything together (or nothing for that matter). We often get together intending to do something, and end up sitting around chatting all night about practically nothing. We have the same family values, similar future plans, similar religious views, similar taste in music, and the list goes on. We aren't the same person by any means, but we are very similar, and I think that would help us to get along through a marriage. Even if we were to "fall out of love" I think we could tolerate eachother for the long term.

I hate the invitation part of this question. I think if I had 4 people to invite, it would depend on if Gemini got to invite people too. If he did, then I would invite my immediate family (Mom, Robbie, and both sisters). If he didn't, then I'd invite mama dukes and Jen, and his mom and dad. Because I think it would be most important for them, and the rest of the family would get a thick stack of pictures :)

2) What are the lyrics to your favorite song? Does the song have special meaning to you?

The song is Miss World - Hole.
The reason - When I was younger, I was an emotional teen. I dont think I wanted to be happy, so I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself, and making myself (and everyone around me) miserable. The funny thing was, that I was aware of this fact, and I didnd't care. I don't know if it was a life stage or something, or maybe a hormonal imbalance, but I wasn't cool. Not like I am now at least ;) In that stage of my life I found refuge in music (as I still do sometimes). I basically fell in love with Courtney Love (the singer for Hole) because she was "wrong" and she didn't really care what people thought about her. It was a rebellious thing I guess. The lyrics to her songs were often meaningful in some sick sort of way, and the first time I heard this song, I had just had a conversation with my grandma (I think the previous day, but it stuck with me). I asked her something, and her response to me was "I made my bed, and now I'll lie in it". Then I heard this, and it all sort of made sense. It's EMO I know, but it remains one of my favorites to this day, because I can look back on it, and smile, and know that I moved through that time in my life where all I wanted to do was be miserable, and make others feel the same. Now, I try my hardest to make people happy, and keep the peace. On a bad day though, the lyrics to this song still make me feel better.

I am the girl you know, cant look you in the eye
I am the girl you know, so sick I cannot try
And I am the one you want, cant look you in the eye
I am the girl, you know I lie, I lie and lie
Im miss world, somebody kill me
Kill me pills
No one cares, my friends
My friend
Im miss world, watch me break and watch me burn
No one is listening, my friend
Now Ive made my bed, Ill lie in it
Ive made my bed, Ill die in it
Ive made my bed, Ill lie in it
Ive made my bed, Ill die in it

Cute girls watch when I eat ether
Suck me under
Maybe forever, my friend
Now Ive made my bed, Ill lie in it
Ive made my bed, Ill die in it
Ive made my bed, Ill cry in it
Ive made my bed, Ill lie in it
I am the girl you know, cant look you in the eye


3) Who are your top 5 famous guy crushes?

This is a tough call (because I don't know 5 famous people's names). Since I've started dating Gemini, and his family is totally "into" celebrity gossip, I have picked up a 'People' magazine or two, and learned the names of several celebrities, however, I think I would have to see them to know them. But I'll try for the sake of trying.
5--I like Bruce Willis, cause he's cute for an old guy
4--I like the guy from the OC with dark hair, cause he's nerdy and whitty. But way too skinny
3--I like Keanu Reeves not for his looks but for his personality in movies like the Lakehouse, Sweet November, and the Matrix. He's sweet and charming and yet has these masculine qualities still.
2--Um, this is hard. I like the guy who plays House on the tv show House (Hugh Laurie or something), again not for looks, but for personality, because he's amusing, and antisocial and smart. But in real life, I wouldn't be looking for that personality. It's just a pretend thing ok?
1--I can't think of another one. I don't like actors really. Maybe based purely on looks, I might have said Josh Hartnett, but he's seeming far less appealing to me latley maybe because he's gotten far too skinny, but I don't really know.

4) Can you name one moment after which you were never the same? Tell me about it.

I was never the same after I had a conversation with my mom. I was sitting on the floor at the end of my bed, and my mom sat on my bed. It was on that day that I realized that I was ashamed of who I had become, and I made a vow to myself that I would be different from that day forward. I grew much much closer with mama dukes after that, and I don't remember a day since then that I have been absolutly downright miserable. I don't know if I could have done the things I've done to date without having had that conversation. It meant the world to me, and changed me for the better, permenantly.

5) If you could have one super power, what would it be and why would you want it?

I would have the ability to be invisable. I've discussed this in a prevous blog, so I wont expand here...but seriously how cool would this be?
I want that....!!

My poor nose

How can one close-to-perfect human being produce soo much snot in one day?

Wholy crap. I always forget what it feels like to have a head cold. I empathize from now on...

In the mean time, I'm sleeping lots, and taking double doses of my vitamins :)

I'm on my way to better already, and looking forward to the long weekend to relax.

In the mean time, I need new blog topics. I suck at writing these days :(

Just NOT right...

Baseball season has started! yay!!

So we had our first game on Sunday. It was a beautiful thing. Our team (Robbies softball team to secret readers who are new) is pretty good this year it seems. Everyone was hitting consistently, and staying with plays without trying to be super-heros all the time. All the babies (well not-so-much anymore) are back, and then some!

The majority of our team has remained the same (making me happy) and all of the new guys on the team seem like they'll fit in well. In other words, we haven't got in trouble for heckling them yet, though I'm sure once they work up the balls...

And speaking of balls (since mama dukes was to chicken to post about it)...

One of the new guys on our team (Thumper, if you are reading this...I apologize for calling your attention to it, but something has to be done!!) either

a) has a gigantic 'package' (if you know what I mean, as I'm sure you do...) and likes to make it look even more huge by covering it with an extra-large-I'm-definitly-THE-MAN-sized cup...or

b) has a tiny weenie, and likes to make it look huge by covering it with an (see above...)

BUT, not only does he do this...he also wears the cup to one side (ie it covers one of his thighs and he's a big guy!) and down his leg a distance. I somehow doubt the thing is covering any of the family jewels, mutton dagger, old blind bob, hanging johny, fishing rod, tallywhacker, pocket rocket, one-eyed trouser trout, ding dong, ankle spanker, pork sword, engine cranker, hairy hotdog, davey crocket, wang, wazoo, weeny, whacker, pecker, pee-pee, kidney cracker, heat seeking moisture missle, giggle stick, love whistle, tube steak, uncle dick, purple helmet warrior...or any other pet names for PENIS that you can think of....(oh wow, I'm feeling a little raunchy right now)

IT'S JUST WRONG!!!

I can't go all season trying to hold back laughter every time he walks by, or I happen to glance to the wrong part of the field. Cause you know, I *would* be able to see it all the way from the 300 meter line. I guarentee it.

Someone's gotta slip him a note or something....geeze....

A Penny for Your Thoughts

When I was younger (5 or 6) my mom took us to the park to fly kites. It was a beautiful sunny day and a perfect day to spend in the park. So we are playing around and doing kartwheels and such when I put my hand on the ground, and find something hard. I wonder what it is. I look for it in the grass untild I finally find what it is that my hand grazed.

"Mommy I found a LOONIE!!!"

I was soo excited, that I still remember it to this day (and we all know how good my memory is...blah). Why was I soo excited to find a loonie? These days a loonie wont even get you a coffee, but back then...a loonie could get you 100 PENNY CANDIES!!!

Penny candies were the best. It was all about quantity. For a loonie you could make yourself sick with sugar. Mini fuzzy peaches, and gummie worms and those little caramels you sometimes see at Halloween. When I was 5, these candies cost exactly one cent. You never threw out pennies back then because you could actually buy something with them.
So I begged mom to take us to the corner store, and that she did. At which point the store owner gives me a little paper bag, and I carefully count out exactly 100 candies to fill it with. I'm sure thinking back on it now (and being older then a kindergarden kid) that my mom probably had to pay the 15 cents tax or whatever, but I didn't notice. I was soo happy to be getting 100 candies that you could have told me my foot fell off, and I wouldn't have noticed.

Anyways, I thought about this last night while talking to Gemini. He'd never heard of penny candies. It also took me a while to explain what a dicky-dee was. Gosh I'm getting old...