Unemployment Sucks

So firstly I can't spell. My loving mother decided to point this out on her blog, which is fine with me. I never claimed to be good at spelling and probably never will. I have grown up in a world where spell check is automatic and when there isn't a little red squiggle underlining a word, I just assume it's spelt correctly.
Now that we've gone over that issue (thanks ma!), I am unemployed and frustrated. I have searched a ridiculous number of job-find sites and posted my resume for the world to see. Heck, I've emailed my resume to places that don't even seem to be hiring, just in case. This process sucks. I am supposed to be relaxing this week and instead, I have spent hours and hours every day in front of the computer (exactly where I DON'T want to be...). I figure if nothing comes up this week, then monday I start searching in person, I guess starting at job-find places.
I will settle if I have to, but I would like to find a job with some relevance to my life if I have to go through all the crap process to find it. This is where my indecision bites me in the ass again...I don't know what's relevent since I don't have any life goal. So, here I sit, frustrated with life and work, and summer, and ironically I might prefer being at school where the goal is simple and I always wake up knowing what the day will bring (even if it's 20 hours of homework).
I'm being pessimistic and annoying, I know. I'll get over it. I don't know how to feel really. I had everything worked out, and I had even planned holidays etc. Now, my summer is one big 'holiday' until I can find a job. I should take my friends advice and take the summer off. Only then I'd be stuck at home watching crappy daytime TV and trying not to wake up Rob. I think I'd rather work...
Anyways, this is my life for now, if anyone needs a hard-working employee...(and spelling skills arn't important)

Aimee

Done Third Year

So, I wrote my last exam last night. Finished at 9:30pm after too many hours of cramming. Was it worth it you ask...probably not. I tried my best though and that's what I always swore I'd do in school. But now I'm home, I'm relaxing and catching up with friends and family and myself. Heck, I've sighed about 100 times today in disbelief that I don't really have anything to do. Well, not nothing, but nothing that I HAVE to do, and that feels great. One week off to catch my breath, try and get into a normal sleep schedule, then get back to work (even if it is monkey work)
I woke up at 4:15 this morning. Wide awake, because I had gone to bed at midnight and my body thought I'd had more than enough sleep for the night. I guess it was more then the 2.5 hours I got the night before. I went back to sleep though, on the couch. I just told myself I was getting an early nap. It worked, I slept till almost 9. I'm wide awake now though and it's past 1am. A few days at home will fix all that.
I'm glad it's over, and I'm glad I can start blogging about something more interesting then school for a change. Well, I'll try, haha
Thanks for putting up with me everyone, It'll be worth it in the end.

Aimee

2 More Days

I'm exhausted. I wrote my biochem final exam yesterday night which means that for the entire block of time before it, I was cramming more and more information into my head. I read the textbook again (for the third time) somehow thinking that something had to become clear eventually...well lets just say I got it (I thought)
Yesterday was a brutal day that I'll soon forget over an icy drink in the backyard in the sun. I woke up early (as usual) and reviewed all my cycles. For anyone that doesn't hear me complain all the time, that basically means I spat out chemical formulas to a ridiculous number of molecules that cycle through your body constantly providing you with energy and getting rid of waste. So...once I was done that I decided to head to school. By now it's about 9am so I figure I have about 9 more hours to cram. I made myself comforatable in a quiet study room on campus with my chemistry buddy and we studied...before I knew it 12:30 had arrived and I had lunch (which didn't sit well) and panicked a little. I went back to work memorizing and drawing etc etc and sooner then I was OK with, it was 5pm. By now my stomach is turning circles and sitting in my throat, my hands are sweaty and swolen, and I'm having hot flashes...stupid body. Why don't we learn about this in biochemistry huh?
So I go get dinner, a small sub from Quiznos across the street. I ate half, and that was all I could take, chemistry made me lose my appetite. So it's 5:45 and I'm frantically flipping paper around as if I Haven't been studying for 3 weeks, and I decide that I don't care anymore, but wait...I forgot to review my equations...crap. So I pull out the math problems I had with me and looked for equations real quick. Something about E=Na*c*h/lambda...but I don't know what all that means, ok next...delta G = -n*F*delta E...I'm in trouble...so I quickly look up the meaning of the terms in 2 equations (out of I dunno, 20) and look at the time. 6:14. I better get down to the room or I'm going to be late. I pack up all my stuff (by now it looks like I've been living there) and run downstairs, open the door to the designated room, and there's an entire class in there, that turns around and glares at me. They apparently switched the exam room. Good, I hated that room. But where is it...? There's no note or anything. I know...I got to my classroom and sure enough there everyone is.
I don't know what I was thinking when I took this course. I should have followed the trend and dropped out of biology last year. Is it too late to quit now? Yeah, I guess so. The prof makes a quick annoucement about how if everyone memorized their cycles they should be able to get close to 80% so I'm starting to feel better sorta ??
Thing is, my mark going into the final is really high (for chemistry) cause of the fluke midterm exam. So right now I'm sitting in a percent that stabilizes my grade. I have a 17% rangle in which I can still get my A- and high-tail it outta there. In other words I need a score of between 70 and 87% on this exam to get my A-...
So I open the exam, skip over the multiple choice (I'll do them last) and right to the "cycles". So I skip the first question. I don't know what it is but I never heard of it (there goes 10 marks) and fill in a few questions with relative confidence. Then I get to the math part (Crap!) and I really got nothin', so I try to throw down formulas I remember from ancient times of studying (3 weeks ago, which seems like a lifetime) and I plug numbers in like I know what I'm doing...Thing is, I have no clue. What I did may be totally wrong but I'm counting on part marks.
I get to the last page, flip back to the blank spots and still have no clue, so I go to the multiple choice. They were impossible, so I made my best guesses, and moved on.
By this time it's 8:30pm. I've been writing this thing for 2 hours. I have swolen up like nobody's business, causing me to shed my rings and watch, and my hands are hot and sweaty. I would have taken my bra off if I could, I felt like I was getting fat Fast. Stupid body...
I went back to the blank answers again, filled a couple in a little bit for part marks, but this one question worth 10 marks...how could I have missed a concept so important? I surely would have recognized the word at least and cursed my memory for not being able to remember structures, enzymes, coenzymes etc...but no...I don't even recognize this word. What the heck. So maybe he's tricking me. Maybe he's asking for something I know but I just don't understand the question. So I ask..."are you asking for the urea cycle?" I get a look, "No." Crap
So I left it blank, and packed up my stuff. That's all I got folks. I didn't even look up what that was. I don't have to know anything about anything anymore. I'm going back to the simple life, chemistry free.
So that was my night, I came home exhausted and I was sure that's how it felt to give birth. Painful for the long hours before and during, but then utterly relieved that it's over.
Problem is, I still have one more final exam to study for. That full year cumulative course. I better get to work. I might still have a little gas in the tank, but I'm definitly running low...

Aimee

Oh Exams...

6 More days in case anyone else is counting. I am getting really nervous about this week. Three exams in 4 days is a little much (even for me). I have tried to prepare in advance. I read the textbooks for my classes and did the end-of-chapter questions and all but the thing is, I can't seem to get any of it to stick in my head. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe my brain sees sun and gets unwired for learning thinking I'm in Oakville or something.
I wrote my abnormal exam, and all was well, so maybe if I just hope for the best and go in with a smile it will all work out? Not likely. I have statistics on wednesday and biochemistry thursday. Unfortunaly I can just be done then, I have to then cram for a full year cumulative course exam that has gotten very little of my focused attention. To be honest, I hate the class. It ecology and it deals with populations of animals and what affects them etc. There's a ton of information but most of it is rather intuitive...like if the population of prey decreases then the population of predators is also going to decrease for lack of food...but then it becomes a science so of course 'they' have to add a crap load of long words that can only be pronounced if you have a second tongue, and a crap load of formulas to equations that are beyond me. So, that puts me here, blogging, and wondering if giving myself 24 hours to study for that one was such a good idea after all?? My stomach is upset all of a sudden. haha
Biochemistry is worse though and it requires much more intense studying. Somehow it's not intuitive that there are about a thousand steps to metabolism with about 10,000 different molecules and enzymes with names like "Argininosuccinate Synthetase". Chemists think they're all that...naming things whatever they please....crap
So, through all this stress I woke up this morning to the bright sun again. It was supposed to rain yesterday but didn't, and now its bright blue and sunny out again. Something is definitly going on...even the weather network is in on it, they've gotten to everybody. And the sun made me want to blog instead of study. Of course I checked to see if the 15 or so blogs I check every day had been updated in the last 5 hours since I went to bed...as if any crazy blogger would write a post in the middle of the night, or the wee hours of the morning, but I had to check ya know, I'm an addict. But...no posts, how disappointing, so I wrote my own. Lucky for all you, YOU have a post to read. Maybe you should think about that the next time you don't post for 3 days. I'm sitting here trying my hardest to find something productive to do other then study, and you just don't care...It would have been much less time-consuming to read a quick post this morning but NO, I had to write one instead. I hope you're all happy. If I do bad it's your fault and I'll have to live off your money when I'm homeless and broke....
Anyways, enough about that. I have to go learn how purple bacteria metabolize energy, because some higher power decided that was an integral part of learning. Bastards...

Aimee

9 Days and Counting

I'm so close to being done 3rd year I can taste it, but the worst part is I still have my three hardest exams to write, all clumped together into 4 days. Crap...why then you ask am I sitting here writing a blog? Because I just don't wanna....biochem blows
I guess all those nights reading and making notes on the textbook before lecture might pay off about now, if I could work up the courrage to open those books and face my enemy. I'm not looking forward to it needless to say, but Jen's gone this weekend for an adventure at the zoo so I wont have any distractions (save the voice in my bed calling to me..."I'm warm and cozy, come take a nap!!)
I think the government is doing testing on the city of Waterloo. First there is army trucks and police tape blocking off this area on the corner by the university, and it appears as though they are building a "park". The thing is, they worked all day and all night (no joke) for 3 days building this "park" and I walked through it last night (now that creepy army guys are gone) and all they did was take down what used to be a hill of grass with a rock sitting on top, and they flattened it and paved it over, and put 3 little railings (for skateboarders...?) there. This I think is questionable...
To add to this delusion, it hasn't rained in waterloo for over a week, and the sky is blue and people are happy. If this doesn't sound like a conspiracy I don't know what would...I'm waiting for Matrix-like men to come in and arrest me right now cause I've devulged their experiment on the web. Did they think hiding some nuclear waste under a slab of concrete in a "park" was going to fool all the university kids?? Geeze...
So now I'm worried cause I walked through the "park" last night, and if there IS nuclear waste or some other weather-creating device strategically placed to encourrage people to inhabit waterloo other then the crazy university students who were young and didn't know any better (then just drank themselves silly for four years....) Then, I might become one of THEM...I've been cursed. Crap...maybe that's why I don't feel like studying.
Anyways, I should get to work, the morning is escaping me as we speak and I don't know about you, but I could use a coffee. I wonder if it's something in the water...?

Aimee

Stupid Computer

My computer is being dumb, and I just lost a nice long blog...and I could have been studying.
Man, nevermind studying personality disorders, I'm aquireing one as we speak...
Anyways, I'm not writing all that again, so for anyone who's interested, I have 12 more days until I'm done third year and the rest can wait...

Aimee

Summer is coming

There are 12 days left until I am finished my third year of university, and I'm excited. I handed in a paper this morning worth 50% of my grade. It was a little bit stressful, but I'm done that class now. Four more to go. I have Abnormal Psychology on thursday, so I've had the pleasure of studying for that for a couple of days now. I love abnormal, so it's more like taking a break from studying other subjects (like biochem), so I don't mind. I decided to write before I start reading the chapter on personality disorders because I'll likely think I have ALL of them and then I wont write for a while. Just kidding.

I am so excited for summer I can't even tell ya. For some reason I have been motivated to do things, and I just want to be able to go outside and play instead of being stuck inside studying. I'm hoping to have a productive summer, unlike most summers...they just fly by, and all the things you 'meant to do' get put off again until next year. I hope I'm still this motivated in two weeks haha

Anyways, I'm going to make myself a smoothie and a bag o' popcorn and get back to work. I could use a few more days to study if someone doesn't mind reversing time a little...but not too much, I need summer!

Aimee

Who Introduced Me to Blogging?

I just realized that I spend at least a half hour every day checking blogs and reading blogs and writing blogs. I love them, It's like taking a glimpse into the thoughts of other people, and knowing that I'm not alone in my internal drama. It's comforting knowing that other people are real, and other people have bills that pile up, and papers unsorted, and sometimes...kids just vomit, that's all there is to it. haha. I don't have most of these problems yet (except the bills...like the OSAP mail I got yesterday saying my balance is almost $30,000, ouch!), but I look forward to these problems.
I spent another half hour yesterday downloading music (hense the new kids on the block video from Jen...it's funny by the way). I love going back in time with music, it defines moments in life. Anyways, mom's coming this morning so I should get some work done before the day gets going. It's going to be a good day, I just know it!!

Aimee

Is it summer yet, for gosh sakes!

so I'm tired of studying, I don'twant to write finals.
What would you rather do you ask? well...
I would rather be working 8 till 4 at a job that works my brain (but not too much)
I would rather read a book for pleasure instead of for a test
I would rather spend time with my family
I would rather take a walk after supper
I would rather go for ice cream (TCBY - classic french vanilla) by the lake
I would rather chat with my mom while the sun goes down in the backyard
I would rather eat BBQ steak outside on the patio (even IF there's bees)
I would rather catch up with my friends...wait... friend
And Last but certainly NOT least, I would rather spend at least two nights of every week watching Robbie play baseball.

I miss baseball games, and every day that the weather is nice makes me miss them more. When I stare out my window at 8 at night and see the sun just going down, I feel I should be grabbing a coffee with the family and sporting a team jersey. I don't think summer can come fast enough really, and Jen is quick to remind me...she misses baseball too. What a great past-time...hanging out with the family and getting to socialize with some real people instead of just office people (no offense office people, I love you girls too! but baseball is so dirty and real...) Really, I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing right now.

Mom's coming to visit tomorrow, so exciting.
Every year of university, I find myself daydreaming more at this time of year. Maybe I'm getting burnt out? I'm losing my focus...well it's not lost yet. I still got a little time left.
Haha, I gotta go, jen's going to make a video to "step by step" by New Kids On The Block...I have to learn how to post videos, this should be good!!
hahaha

Aimee

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year

I've had a bad day here and there this week so I havn't been writing. The weather is being tricky here. One day it's 14 degrees and the next day there's a foot of snow. It's kind of depressing actually because I want it to be nice out, but then again I feel stuck inside. I love being able to open my window and get freash air, yet I'm jelous of all the university kids playing sports outside, as if they don't have a care in the world, and university is a breeze. I take things too seriously. I have to stop and remind myself to smell the roses once in a while. That reminds me...

So today I was thinking about summer and how fast it's creeping up and I got to daydreaming about how summer has changed over the years. I'm not sure when it happened exactly but I remember living on Frobisher (sp.?) court in kitchener(?) and it must have been the very start of summer. I'm not sure why this one stuck cause I sure don't remember all the summers in between but, Jen and I were so busy this summer with all of our important missions.
I would go to the next door neighbors house because they had the coolest swing set, when you went really high the legs would come up out of the ground and we'd joke about the groundhog that lived under there. I think her name was Kelly? and she was from Whales. I never did know what that meant, but for some reson it stuck.
Anyways, Jen, and I and all the kids from the street would meet and go to the mini-forest behind the townhouses and play fort. I was such a tomboy I was always the one to climb way up to the top of the tree and be on watch incase someone came close. I'm not really sure what we did in the club, I think I only got to stay to be the lookout. But it was fun. We'd sometimes encounter weird things in the 'forest' like matresses and old blankets, which then we never understood but didn't touch. We'd sing Madona songs and peer across the chainlink fence into the yard next door, or onto the busy street that we wern't supposed to go near. And it was fun.
That summer we'd play in the pool in the front yard and you could smell barbeque and cut grass. A teen would drive by with a bike carrying ice cream (dickie dee, for those that remember) and we'd run inside screaming and beg mom for change like it was our job. She'd always give us some. And when we'd come back with ice pops shaped like sunglasses on a stick, mom would sing the song by Cory Hart "I wear my sunglasses at night" and we'd laugh and drip popsicle down our arms.
I loved that summer and I wish I could go back, just once to do it again.

Anyways, I should get to work, I know I havn't blogged much lately but I've been working super-hard so that I can see the family on Saterday. Hopefully the weather will be nice, maybe we can go for ice cream.
I'll write soon

aimee